The Shape of Water (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Original written January 18th, 2018*

I have a strange history when it comes to Del Toro and his films, I tend to like his work a lot, but never truly love it (Aside from Pans Labyrinth). I really had no idea what to expect with The Shape of Water, I knew it would be weird for sure, the concept is bonkers and original, but I never expected to love it as much as I did. For me, this was by far Del Toro's most effective work.

It's a truly original, quirky and whimsical fairy tale like romance. A mute cleaner Elisa (Sally Hawkins) falls in love with a humanoid like sea creature (Doug Jones) that has been kept prisoner in the lab she cleans. Once psychotic colonel Richard (Micheal Shannon) gets orders to kill the creature for dissection, Elisa tries to free the sea creature.

I really have to give the film credit for being original and for a studio to release a film this weird and out there, it's going to be interesting to see how this resonates with mainstream audiences, but I have a hard time imagining they'd accept it. What's craziest about The Shape of Water is just how well all this works, it comes together for an emotional and highly touching film about love and acceptance in the backdrop of the cold war in the 1960's.  

This feels like the perfect love story in film that we need right now and while I had some minor pacing issues with it (It's something I find with all of Del Toro's films), everything made up for it. The relationship between Elisa and the creature is truly touching and sweet, going to some really interesting places that I'd heard about, but still didn't expect. 

The design of the creature is wonderful and unique, it's not weird enough to be freaky, but is human enough to connect with it easily. There's some obvious inspiration from The Creature from the Black Lagoon here and a little bit of Hellboy's Abe Sapien (There were outrageous rumours that this was a secret prequel to Hellboy. It's not.) Jones performance was wonderful too, the creatures starts off with a childlike sense of confusion and fear before it adapts to its surroundings. There's also some moments of dark humour to be found with the creature's naivety, that cat scene I won't forget in a while.

While the creature sure is a main point of the film, the real star here is a Sally Hawkins, who is absolutely wonderful as the mute cleaner who falls in love with the creature. It was great to see a film where the lead character has to communicate a lot with sign language and just facial expressions, it just felt really fresh and seeing two people who couldn't talk develop a relationship based on their mutual interests was so sweet to watch. Some of my favourite moments were just Hawkins feeding the creature boiled eggs and playing him old vinyls. I was fully invested by this thing, which is very rare for me.

Michael Shannon, Michael Stuhlbarg, Richard Jenkins and Octavia Spencer also provide solid support. Jenkins probably having the most developed arc of the supporting characters, playing a repressed gay man in 1960's America was an interesting choice, but made for a compelling side story. Shannon does a great job, but he is in danger of being typecast as mentally unhinged Christian lawmen in period dramas, he's more or less playing his character from Boardwalk Empire here.

Being a Del Toro film, I was not disappointed by the visual style, even his worst films look great, The Shape of Water is no different. From the opening shot to the beautiful ending, this is a feast for the eyes. The sets are gorgeous and realised, and the idea of setting it in the '60s during the backdrop of the Cold War was an inspired choice. 


The Shape of Water is already looking to be one of my favourite films of the year, and it's only January. Please support original films like this. This is a beautiful work of art that is unique and there won't be anything like this for a while. God bless you Del Toro, this might just be your magnum opus.

10/10 Dans

The Shape of Water opens February 14th in theaters in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

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Fifty Shades Darker (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written February 13th, 2017*
 
"Fifty Shades of cinematic cancer"

I know I'm far from the target audience this film series is aimed at. I'm neither a teenage girl or a sexually repressed middle-aged woman, so it really is not for me, but for my own twisted sadomasochistic reasons, I endure this franchise and it proves I really will see anything they release in a cinema. Even this abomination of "Kinky fuckery".

Fifty Shades Darker is more or less the same. A 2 hour shit-show of soapy melodrama, a laughable script and bored performances. Although one thing is different, they attempt heighten the "tension" with these hilarious moments of forced drama that come out of nowhere. It feels like a trashy '90s thriller in the vein of Basic Instinct, but with none of what made it great.

Once again the relationship at the center of the film is more damaging than it is romantic. It really scares me seeing girls share on Facebook and Twitter about how they "want their Christian Grey". It baffles me, this man is a creepy, controlling psychopath who seems more likely to skin you alive than provide romance. His relationship with Ana is so problematic. She breaks up with him at the end of the last film, but they're back together within the first 15 minutes under the promise "this time it's different"

Fucking in the shower with clothes on

What's funny is that nothing has changed. Ana more or less goes along with everything Christian demands of her with little to no discussion. Just this time there is no bondage until a very minor scene towards the end. Despite doing all of what Christian says, late in the film during a scene of forced tension involving a gun, Christian demands that Ana "Do what she's told, for once". It was so poor and out of nowhere.

That isn't the only moment that comes out of nowhere. In the last 20 minutes there is a helicopter crash that just happens, with no build up or any kind of intent the film would have a scene like this. Like a lot of the film, it feels like a collection of deleted scenes that are jumbled together to make a 2 hour film. After this helicopter crash, Christian shows up at his apartment with some bruising and covered in dirt, then the scene is forgotten. It was bizarre.

Even with the rare "18" rating in the UK. The sex is incredibly tame and lifeless. I don't never seen two actors seem so bored when they were in bed together. It was also strange that Jamie Dornan spends nearly all of the sex scenes with his jeans on while Dakota Johnson gets completely naked. At least she put some dedication into the scenes. Also, for a film about BDSM, a surprising lack of it.

One of the more frustrating things about Fifty Shades Darker is how uninterested the actors seem in general. Everyone in this film I've seen in other stuff and know they are capable actors. Here they just seem bored delivering some awful lines with no effort put in. I honestly think Jamie Dornan wears the same facial expression in every scene. Did his face move?! I don't know. Dakota Johnson didn't fare much better, the most interesting part about her performance is the way she seemed to say "Urm" during sentences, giving the impression she was trying to remember the script while filming.

There is at least an excuse to explain why Christian is the way he is. There's some tacked on stuff about him being abused by his mother when he was a child, burning him with cigarettes. It's revealed his body is covered in cigarette burns, but I am pretty sure these were not present in the first. There's also a weirdly prominent post for 'The Chronicles of Riddick' in his childhood bedroom, which just felt so weird'.

If this film sends a horrible message about romanticising an abusive relationship, they try their hardest to make Christian a "good" guy by making every other male character with more than a scene of screentime a monster. The only other real male character with screentime is Ana's boss, who they NEED to make a villain for some reason as he tries to rape Ana in another scene that comes out of nowehere in an attempt at drama for the sake of drama.

Ana getting finger blasted by a creepy pervert in an elevator

I could make a list of some of the "best" lines in Fifty Shades Darker, but I only saw it yesterday, but I forgot most of them already. The ones that have stuck with me had to be "Kinky fuckery" (Which I am saying a lot) and "You taught me how to fuck, Ana taught me how to love". Both of which made me laugh out loud in the cinema to the presumable disdain of the middle-aged women getting off on this tripe during a late afternoon screening in a fairly empty cinema.

I didn't stay to watch the trailer for next years 'Fifty Shades Freed' inserted in the middle of the credits, but the cliffhanger ending of a barely used character looking over a hilltop at Christian's party while burning a cigarette in a picture of him leaves me very excited for the absolute nonsense that is gonna go down in February, 2018.

Fifty Shades Darker is pure garbage, problematic, laughably bad, lazy, boring and poorly acted. No one involved in this series gives a shit about the quality anymore, and it shows. One of the worst films likely to come out in 2017.

1/10 Dans

Fifty Shades Darker is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

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Passengers (2016) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written December 21st, 2016*

I'll be honest, I really enjoyed the first hour of Passengers or so, and I was expecting things to start wrapping up, but then I was made aware that was only half way into it. Then everything dawned on me. This was a complete mess.

I was fairly looking forward to Passengers. Sure, it was based purely on my love of Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence, but nothing could have prepared me for how misguided and creepy this sci-fi romance was.

The relationship between Lawrence and Pratt at the centre of this is deeply misguided, disturbing and flawed. We are meant to feel sorry for Pratt due to his intense lonliness of being stuck in space for so long, which makes him get Jennifer Lawrence involved. I have huge soft-spot for the loveable goofball that is Chris Pratt, but I couldn't excuse what a monstorous decision his character makes here. It took me a little while to see the implications of what he did, but once I did, it made it the most disturbing romance film I've seen since Fifty Shades of Grey.

It's a shame too. I'm a sucker for this simple concept genre films that explore a fairly straight-forward idea, but with an execution this flawed it made it hard to get behind Passengers. I would be lying if I said I didn't have fun with it though. The opening act features only Chris Pratt and the robot bartender played by a scene-stealing Martin Sheen.

It was a fairly ballsy move to not have one of your two main actors selling the film to show up till 40 minutes in, but that's where Passengers shined. When it was simply Chris Pratt slowly growing more and more isolated. We see him make the most of the massive space station, try and find a way to escape, then finally realize this situation is hopeless and Pratt really sells it. He also makes for some very funny scenes, especially between him and Sheen.

The Avalon space station

I'm not saying Lawrence ruins it when she joins. She gives a usually reliable performance, but the writing of her character completely ruins it. Where they end up with her character at the end feels forced and insanely unbelievable based on the events we've seen up to the finale. It was borderline insane.

Another disappoint in the lack of surprises. The trailers pretty much give away anything interesting from the film. There's no twist or unexpected plot developments. It just goes where you expect it to before fizzling out and ending. I'd say the closest thing to a surprise Passengers has up its sleeve is an appearance from an actor which feels like it's meant to be a big reveal, but is in all the trailers so loses its impact.

Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence

While I'd say the direction lacked in sort of energy or uniqueness, it at least does look nice and has some visually interesting stuff. The space station looks like some weird cross between The Shining and 2001: A Space Odyssey. The references to The Shining are pretty clear, including Martin Sheen's bartender android. I was surprised at how big the budget was for this thing, considering it only has about 4 actors in it for the most part, but there are some standout visuals that reminded me of the much better Sunshine. The most memorable thing in terms of visuals had to be the zero gravity swimming pool scene, which was one of the more creative things here.

Passengers is a huge disappointment. A huge let-down from the sci-fi romance I was expecting. I wanted a charming and heartfelt romance in a sci-fi setting, instead what I got was a creepy, misguided and manipulative film that wastes the talents of Lawrence, Pratt and its concept.

4/10 Dans

Passengers is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD now inthe UK
Watch the trailer below:

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Beauty and the Beast (2017) - Film Review

Review:

Since I don't have the same attachment to the original Disney film most people have (I only saw it for the first time a few days ago), I was much more open to this new live-action adaptation. I've found Disney's live-action reboots pretty succesful for the most part, The Jungle Book in particuarly being spectacular.

I didn't have much hope for Beauty and the Beast, but to my surprise, I ended up loving it far more than I possibly imagined. While it might not be as strong as the 1991 version, this holds up on its own as a beautiful, heartfelt and funny romance that mostly hits all the right notes.

Dan Stevens and Emma Watson as The Beast and Belle

What struck me first is just how beautiful and elaborate everything is, from set-design to costumes to special effects, everything on display is a feast for your eyes. It's a bring, colour and vibrant film. It was hard to take everything in on a first watch, but it was wonderful. My only fault with the designs had to be the Cogsworth and Lumiere, whose designs look a bit weird to say the least and the lack the simplistic charm of the original Disney film.

In terms of performances, everyone was pretty great. Dan Stevens was fantastic as the Beast, jumping from anger, sadness and genuine warmth and giving a compelling performance even under all that CGI. Emma Watson was decent as Belle, her singing may have been a bit autotuned, but she did a good job overall. Their relationship is touching and genuinely worth investing in, making for a some emotionally resonate moments I had no idea would reach me the way it did. It was really funny too, a scene with a snowball came out of nowhere and nearly killed me.

Luke Evans stole the show as Gaston, who played it much less disgusting and rapey than the previous version. His inherent narscissism and self-obsession led to some of the films funniest moments. As did his assistant, LeFou, Disney's first openely gay live-action character. He might not have been "openely" gay as what I'd heard, but it was fine and I'm glad Disney are adding equality and diversity to the film. I'm hoping they go a step further in future films.

Josh Gad and Luke Evans as LeFou and Gaston

I may have criticised the design of Cogsworth and Lumiere, but Ian McKellen and Ewan McGregor both do scene-stealing jobs. I had my worries about McGregor's French accent (His career has a fair few misguided accents), but he pulled it off extremely well. Ian McKellen may have given me the biggest laugh of the whole film one of his final scenes.

 

Lumiere and Cogsworth voiced by Ewan McGregor and Ian McKellen

Despite my apprehension towards musicals, I was pretty won over by most of the songs. A fair few of them I quite liked. A lot of them were lifted directly from the original animation, but even some of the new ones were good in their own right. My biggest problem with last years Jungle Book film was how out of the place the musical numbers were within the film, luckily Beauty and the Beast did not suffer from the same problem.

Beauty and the Beast was a pleasant surprise, a visually astonishing, funny, heartfelt and worthy remake that stands its own ground against an already fantastic film. More of this, Disney.

9/10 Dans

Beauty and the Beast is out now in theaters in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

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