El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019) Review

Review:

*Originally written October 11th* 
*Spoiler free*

Breaking Bad was something very special to me, a TV show that affected me like no other, to the point I'd call it my favourite piece of media ever made. It ended perfectly and nailed the landing where so many shows don't. I was very sceptical about the idea of a film continuing the story of Jesse Pinkman, even with the involvement of Breaking Bad's creator Vince Gilligan. I was certainly excited to go back into this world, but at the same time so ready for this to be an unnecessary disaster. 

Thankfully, this turned out to be so many things I didn't know I needed and more. El Camino follows on directly from the events of Breaking Bad's finale, showing Jesse escape his captivity and try to rebuild his life after suffering through these horrific events. It works perfectly as a epilogue to Breaking Bad, as Jesse is a character that deserved a redemptive finale after his unsure looking future based on when we last saw him.

Jesse Pinkman has always been my favourite character from Breaking Bad. While it was Walter White's story, Jesse always seemed more innocent and likeable, despite starting off as a burnout junkie loser before maturing and growing as the show went on. It was an interesting parallel to Walt, who only got worse as the show went on, while Jesse was always trying to better himself while going through the ringer when it came to horrific events and loss. 

Aaron Paul effortlessly steps back into the role, giving a powerful performance full of range and emotion. It's one of the rare times I've actually cared deeply about where things will go for a fictional character. It's amazing to see how much Jesse had changed over the course of the series. Paul portrays Jesse's emotional trauma with nuance and subtlety that brings so much to the character and events. We see a lot more of the time he spent in captivity and how twisted things got through flashbacks. 

Flashbacks has always been a trademark of Breaking Bad and used effectively. El Camino is no different, making use of showing Jesse during the events of the finale and over the course of show while bringing back some familiar faces that I won't spoil. All used to poignant and wonderful effect in order to show how much Jesse has changed. 

El Camino is exactly what I wanted in terms of plot. I love films and TV shows that put character over plot every time, taking time to get inside the characters head space rather than constantly trying to move the plot forward. In terms of plot, El Camino is simple and moves at a very slow-burning pace, while it's full of surprises and callbacks to Breaking Bad, your enjoyment will very much depend on how much you care about Jesse as a character. It's also very much worth mentioning that there is absolutely nothing here for you if you've never seen Breaking Bad. 

While character is certainly the focus here, that's not to say El Camino's plot is lacking. The endgame and stakes are set up very quickly and we follow Jesse as he has to get to this predictable, but very satisfying place. While it wraps up neatly and delivers a very bittersweet ending to one of the best written characters on TV, Gilligan does throw some curve balls and takes the plot to some unexpected places, making for some very intense and stomach churning watching. 

This could have easily felt like an extended episode of the show, but thanks to the shows incredible cinematography and cinematic style already, the transition to film is pretty seamless. This is a gorgeous film, making use of the beautiful cinematography of New Mexico and using some wonderfully inventive visual styles that make what could seem like mundane scenes feel engrossing and fun to watch. Dave Porter's pulsating score is also worth mentioning, filled with some callbacks to Breaking Bad's score, but feeling new enough to be its own thing. 

What really struck me is just how sad I was when this ended. I never thought I'd ever see this character in anything ever again and now 6 years later it might seem like that will actually be the case, but I'm okay with that. Vince Gilligan did the impossible, added to an already satisfying finale of TV with an equally as satisfying epilogue that leaves the story in a place that feels perfect and one I hope they don't ever revisit.

I know we've got another season or two of Better Call Saul on the way, but it feels like this story beyond that sequel has been wrapped up. I'm just a little concerned by the title "El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie". Does Vince Gilligan plan to release more films from the Breaking Bad universe with that subtitle? I guess it depends on the success of this, but I'm torn on it. Part of me doesn't want them to risk diluting a perfect thing, but then again, Vince Gilligan has proved here that he'd only return to Breaking Bad if he had a story worth telling and he clearly knows what he's doing. Time will tell.


El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie is everything you could possibly want as a fan of Breaking Bad. It's a tense, emotional, beautifully shot ride that says goodbye to one of TV's most sympathetic and compelling characters thanks to Aaron Paul's powerhouse performance playing Jesse Pinkman one last time. Yeah, bitch.

9/10 Dans

El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie is out now on Netflix in the UK
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Angel Has Fallen (2019) - Review

Review:

*Originally written September 1st, 2019*

Now, the Fallen series has possibly been the furthest you can get from high-art when it comes to cinema, but there's just something about this series that keeps me coming back to it. It's possibly the '90s feeling action throwback feeling that I have a soft spot for and the fact Gerard Butler's incredibly named hero "Mike Banning" is one of the most deranged and psychopathic leads I've seen from a film of this genre.

I'm genuinely amazed this franchise has now released its third and final(?) film after starting as one of the two Die Hard in the White House knock-offs of 2013. For what the previous two films have been, they were good fun, tasteless, xenophobic, racist and violent, but it felt like it knew this and ran with it. I sort of appreciate them for that, plus its rare we have these mid-range budgeted, adult action films anymore.

This time around Mike Banning is framed for an assassination attempt on the President (Now replaced by Morgan Freeman as Aaron Eckhart did not return) and must clear his name while trying to find out who really did it. It's such basic level stuff and a story we've seen countless times before. Even the Taken series used its third entry to do this very plot, but with a wife instead of president. Despite this, Angel Has Fallen still makes for a very watchable and moderately entertaining action film.

Gerard Butler attempts to add more depth to a Mike Banning that is very different from the previous two films. I assume they listened to the criticisms and attempted to add humanity to what was a previously one note sociopath. Honestly, this is not the Mike Banning who would torture people for fun and tell foreign terrorists to "Go back to Fuckheadistan". While I appreciate the more vulnerable take on Mike Banning who is feeling his age and his previous adventures are beginning to take a serious toll on his physical and mental health, it's handled about as well as you could expect from a series of this level.

The attempts at humanising Banning are surface level at best as all this is often overlooked in favour of getting to the next action scene or moving the plot forward. Now, I was never expecting some character drama looking at Mike Banning's acceptance of his own mortality, but I was at least expecting something more when they were ditching the tone of the previous films for something a bit more grim. Take Logan as a good example, the third in a trilogy where the previous two films were not so good, but then the third film delivered something much more thoughtful, but at the same time managed to be an incredible action film. That's what I feel Angel is going for, but it doesn't come close.

Despite failing to make something meaningful out of its characters, this is still a fairly brisk and watchable action film. The plot of Banning being framed is outrageously predictable and you'd have to have a very low IQ not to figure out who the real villain is a few minutes in. It's so very formulaic, but Gerard Butler actually manages to carry this, as does some solid action.

Once again changing directors with each film, Ric Roman Waugh actually does a decent job with most of the action. It's not John Wick level stuff, but it gets the job done, The violence feels punchy and brutal while there is minor moments of inspiration within the gun-play with some use of POV. It does lack in comparison to the more memorable stuff in the previous films, there's nothing close to the opening of Olympus with gunship wiping out DC or the motorbike chase from London, but like I said, it's very watchable and competent.

What's more surprising is the subplot involving Nick Nolte as Banning's ex-Vietnam vet survivalist estranged father. Nolte is clearly having a blast playing such a deranged coot of a character who pretty much steals the show with his brief scenes and even gets in on some of the action. The relationship with his father does add just amount of depth to Banning to help figure out how he became the psychotic man he's been portrayed as, but as you expect, that's handled as well as you would expect from this film. There's also a mid-credits scene between the two that is one of the most out of place, insane, unfunny and cringiest things I've seen from a film this year. 

Whether or not this is the end of the adventures of Mike Banning is another question too. The advertisement and trailers did tease this was the end of this franchise, but it lacks a definitive ending. So I can expect a fourth one if this one does as well as the last two. Although in all honesty, I say keep 'em coming. It's probably a good thing, but we really don't get that many films like this anymore. Good bless Mike Banning.


There's very little else to say about Angel Has Fallen, if you're on board with this throwback series, you'll find something to enjoy in the merely acceptable finale to the trilogy, but if not, you will probably hate this as much as the other two, or maybe less, as the horrible parts of the first two are pretty much absent here. It's sad to say, but Angel Has Fallen is another underwhelming franchise film from 2019 that failed to live up to the previous entries, but at the same time is still acceptable entertainment, if entirely forgettable.

6/10 Dans

Angel Has Fallen is out now in cinemas in the UK

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The Lion King (2019) - Review

Review:

*Originally written July 20th, 2019*

The original Lion King is no doubt my favourite film Disney has ever released. I remember when this was announced I was actually quite excited for it, as I quite liked the Jungle Book remake and a couple of the others. Then something changed, maybe it was me or just the fact I just started to quickly see the rapidly declining state of cinema as these live-action Disney remakes got churned out faster and faster. I mean, this is only the third of five planned films this year alone. I lost all my will towards these after the dull Aladdin.

It turns out my fears were founded. We've dug this property out of its graved, given it a $200 million coat of paint and failed to do anything unique or interesting with it. Yes, it's competently made as it goes through a story we've seen previously beat for beat, but it never amounts to anything close to exciting or capturing the magic from Disney's long gone glory days. 

It's the law of diminishing returns in full effect. I'm okay with remakes as long as you do something interesting and change it around a little. Hell, I give Tim Burton's Dumbo even more credit now for at least straying away from the original film and taking the story in a different direction. This just regurgitates a story with seen before. It lacks any sort of surprise or tries to do anything to make it worth retelling the story. It's just so lazy and cynical.

The most annoying thing is the fact it's very competently made. The CGI effects here bringing the photo-realistic animals alive are genuinely incredible and are incredible to look at. Simba as a cub is insanely cute and easy to get attached to, while Scar still has his intimidating design that makes him a great villain, but lacks Jeremy Irons sinister voice performance. 

While the animals do look insanely realistic, it also works as a disservice to the story. The 2D animation of the original film made these characters very emotive and easy to care about. This "realistic" depiction has a harder job as the characters here do not emote at all. It's very strange and makes it hard to feel anything when they go through the emotional beats. They always just look like animals who's mouths move, but their faces stay the same, it's so weird and off-putting, taking me completely out the film. It's strange, as they managed to pull this off a lot better (From what I remember) with their Jungle Book remake, but 3 years on, the realism of the animation is better, but completely takes you out the performance and fails to create an emotional bond with these characters, despite the Hamlet inspired story and script unfolding more or less shot for shot.

The star studded cast are very hit and miss. There are some very inspired performances that work, like John Oliver as Zazu and Seth Rogen as Pumbaa, who were both surprising highlights for me. Everyone else though, sadly failed to leave an impact on me. It was cool to have James Earl Jones back as Mufasa, but that must have been an easy paycheck for him, just replicating his performance from 25 years ago for an each paycheck. Barely any of this cast came close to capturing the charm of the original. Shame they didn't have cameos from any of the original cast, although Matthew Broderick is probably too busy killing women in car "Incidents" (The word "Accident" would imply no one is to blame) in Ireland. 

This film is going to make over $1 billion and it's inevitable. It's fine. I have no faith left in cinema anymore and these live-action remakes aren't going to stop coming, plus I'm always going to see them out of curiosity. I just feel the same about The Lion King as I have about several others. It boasts groundbreaking special effects to bring this stuff to life, but it loses the heart and soul that made the original films so wonderful. I just left this feeling cold and wishing I just watched the gorgeous 4K remaster of the original instead. 


I remember when I'm going through the Disney classic animated films for the first time (Which I'm still working through), I watch them and think I can't wait to watch them again, but with all three of the live-action remakes so far this year, the last thing I've wanted to do is see them again. I have faith Disney will hopefully do something interesting once they've burned through their library of films to remake. Hell, maybe even the inevitable sequels to the live-action remakes will at least do something different with the story and take them to uncharted territory. As for now, we're just continuing to rehash old stories to depressing effect and it's a shame, as I know Disney are much better than this when they want to be.  

5/10 Dans

The Lion King is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Toy Story 4 (2019) - Review

Review:

*Originally written June 22nd, 2019*

Everything about this sequel reeked of a bad idea. The idea of continuing this series after the perfect ending the third gave us was misguided and felt like nothing less than a cash-grab, then a series of underwhelming trailers prepared me for the worst. My expectations for this were at an all-time low, but that small part of me quickly gained a little bit of excitement for a new Toy Story a few days before I saw this, but like I said, my expectations were weary at best.

I was pretty astounding at how good this turned to be. They did it, those crazy sons of bitches did it. It might not reach the delirious heights of 2 and 3, but Toy Story 4 gives us an emotional, powerful ending to these characters I didn't know I needed. It's not perfect by any means, but it comes very close and feels far from the cynical cash-in I expected.

Like the previous films in this series, it has a huge focus on character over fast paced set-pieces, which is what elevates this franchise above all the over Disney/Pixar franchises for me. It's never afraid to slow things down and spend time with these characters and how they tick, what motivates them and what their purpose in life is.

It was pretty insane and surprising to me at how deep they go into the themes of existentialism. Don't get me wrong, this obviously isn't some art-house meditation on the human condition, but for a kids film, it's not afraid to go places most wouldn't even try to as these toys try to figure out what they purpose is in this world. Are they here just to bring joy to children in an endless cycle of being loved and eventually rejected or were they made sentient to follow their own path and create their own dreams.

Mainly the focus is on Woody, who's existence comes into question with the introduction of "Forky" a new toy made out of trash from their new owner Bonnie. Once Forky is made and declared a toy, he springs to life and struggles to adjust to the idea of even existing. It's kinda fascinating to me that a character made out of a plastic spork was so relatable to me. He spends the opening act believing he's trash and the only place he belongs is in a garbage bag before Woody explains to him the meaning of being a toy.

Except answering Forky's questions about their existence brings Woody's whole being into question as he struggles to move on from memories of Andy and realising his blind devotion to his new owner might not be the thing he wants the most. Along the way he's coincidentally reunited with Bo Peep after being given away between the events of the 2nd and 3rd films, dividing his motivations even more.

It all leads to a soul-crushing ending that left me far more floored than I couldn't prepared myself for. There's a few minor emotional beats throughout that I thought would be as hard as it goes, then it just pulls the rug out from under you in it's final moments. I'm really on the fence at whether this was a more powerful ending than the already beautiful finale of Toy Story 3, but in all honesty, that didn't resonate with me until rewatches. God knows how this one will effect me if it grows on me as much as that did. Hell, I'm even considering this might be my favourite film of the series in future. Time will tell. I also said this about 3, but based on this ending, I do not want another at all.

I can't believe I'm writing this sort of thing about a kids film. It's truly rare we get a film like this with such rich character arcs, motivation, depth and emotion, but Pixar just manage to pull it off again and again. On a technical level, they also manage to push the envelope. The near photo-realistic animation is a marvel to look, it's constantly gorgeous and always varies with its settings, colour palette and details. After rewatching the trilogy last week, it's insane how far the animation has come from the first, which has not aged well in terms of animation in some regards. I cannot wait to watch this in 4K when it releases. 

My only real complaints here are that some of the main characters are given very little screen-time or reason to be there. While Buzz does share the most emotional scene of the film, the rest of his role is very reduced and he does very little as him and Jesse are sidelined in a side-plot focusing on them finding Woody, while characters like Rex, The Potato Heads, Slinky and more feel like nothing less than extended cameos for the most part.

While this is disappointing, it is definitely worth mentioning that the new characters are definitely worthy additions and earn their screen-time. From the new and improved Bo Peep, who is a lot better than you remember from the first two films, Keanu Reeves' scene-stealing French-Canadian motorbike stuntman "Duke Kaboom", Key and Peele's two conjoined stuffed bears and a series of really, really creepy old fashioned dolls. Everyone new leaves a very strong impression, almost making the lack of Buzz and Jesse worth it. 

After a series of underwhelming franchise films so far this year, Toy Story 4 defies the odds and comes out as one of the best films I've seen so far this year. I'm not even sure if it's a coincidence that my two favourite films of the year so far have been had Keanu Reeves in it (No prizes for guessing what the other one is), but he's picking his projects pretty well these days. 


Despite being completely unnecessary on paper, Toy Story 4 is a completely pleasant surprise. A funny, emotional and devastating ride that made it worth bringing back these iconic characters for one last ride. Nothing prepared me for how much I'd like this, but my love for this may continue to grow with each watch and I already can't wait to see it again. 

9/10 Dans

Toy Story 4 is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Men in Black: International (2019) - Review

Review:

*Originally written June 17th, 2019*

The Men in Black franchise has never been one of the best franchises in the world, but it sure as hell deserves better than this abysmal reboot/spin-off. This is just another generic, uninspired Hollywood film that forgets what made the original films watchable.

It lacks anything close to an identity, as it just steals parts of other franchise films in order to make something so forgettable, it's embarrassing. Every aspect of Men in Black: International just feels like it's from something else. It's got the ugly boring CGI of any other overblown summer film, the lame comedy from Marvel films aimed at 6 year-olds and even the incredibly overdone "Portal in the sky" finale that we've seen countless times for the past decade.

I will admit, I did have some mild faith in this. F. Gary Gray just directed the extremely entertaining Fate of the Furious and Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson worked together wonderfully in Thor: Ragnarok, so it seemed at the very least this would be an entertaining film with some creative action and two likeable leads.

It is not. Hemsworth lacks any kind of charm or charisma that he's known for, with a character so empty, uninspired and boring with quippy lines that do not land in the slightest. I can't believe his comedic chops were put to better use in the female led Ghostbusters reboot from a few years ago. Tessa Thompson on the other hand, fares a lot better, with a much more interesting character arc.

I was worried they were gonna rehash a lot from the original with her story-line by having her mirror the path Will Smith's Agent J went on, but instead she's someone who has spent her whole life looking to join the Men in Black after they failed to have her memory erased as a child. It least meant we didn't have to have this character go through all the same training we'd seen before, as she's instead shoved straight into action in the form of a mission to London and ends up partnering with Chris Hemsworth's Agent H.

From then on it just becomes a boring, generic and predictable story with twists that you'd have to be absolutely brain-dead to not see coming within the first half hour. I don't mind a predictable story, as long as there's something fun going on during it or it at least has interesting characters and creative action. International carries none of that. It all just feels like a painful chore.

Even Thompson and Hemsworth partnership lacks the chemistry we know they have based on Thor, so it was bizarre to see them work together in a way that lacked any sort of charm. They sorely lack anything close to Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones' heart and chemistry that carried the trilogy. Thinking about it know, I assume they were hired based on Ragnarok and then they just assumed it would work, but failed to write a script with any sort of wit or nuance that would suit them. 

There's not even the incredible and practical creature designs from the first few films, it's just weightless and flat CGI that feels far too smooth and glossy. What made the originals so great is just how off-putting and weird these creature designs once were, it felt risky and weird to make something that would potentially put people off it. Here, it's just a lame attempt to make the appeal broader in order to obviously continue to branch out the series. 

Not a single part of this film felt like it was made by people who actually cared about what they were making. It just feels like a checklist of what these big-budget summer films have as they check it off one by one without any sort of creative input or style. Men in Black 2 is not a great film by any means, but even that had far more going for it than this pathetic piece of garbage.


Men in Black: International is just Hollywood film-making at its worst, completely soulless, cynical and generic to the point I have no desire to see this series I grow up with continue. The last thing I'd expect to be from a Men in Black film is bored, but hey, 2019 continues to disappoint with their franchise films. I shouldn't have expected anything less.

3/10 Dans

Men in Black: International is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Dark Phoenix (2019) - Review

Review:

*Originally written June 6th, 2019*

The X-Men films have always existed in a strange place. They kick-started the whole superhero boom in 2000's before dropping in quality for a few years, coming back and making some of the best films of the genre, then taking a huge step back with the generic Apocalypse. For me I've always liked this series more the MCU, for the most part. Logan is by far better than anything Disney has produced, while the series also never hit the lows of their films like Thor 2 or Avengers 2.

As much as I like X-Men, I had absolutely no faith in this. I was expecting it to be a complete disaster, as did most people. After some appalling trailers and well publicised problems behind the scenes (Seemingly the entire third act was scrapped and refilmed). Then there's the problem with Disney's acquisition of Fox, meaning all these characters will be entering the MCU within the next couple of years, with Disney looking to recast everyone and scrap thing continuity, aside from Deadpool. 

This meant that now this entry wasn't just another film in the series, it also had the responsibility of being the culmination of nearly 20 years of X-Men films , to give this broken timelined series a satisfying ending and make way for a reboot under the new Disney overlords. It was also rumoured that the reshoots were to give the series a more definitive ending. Which just turned out to be nonsense, as this ends with clear intentions of continuing these adventures, while the cast know it's not going to happen. It's deeply unsatisfying.

Dark Phoenix itself has a lot going on. I also have to bring up the fact X-Men is completely dropped from the title, what is that about? This tries to retell the story told by the much hated The Last Stand, but without Wolverine and lots of other elements that honestly made that a marginally better film. For all of Last Stand's faults, it at least delivered some genuine emotion in the form of Wolverine having to kill Jean Grey in its finale. There is just nothing here even close to that in terms of satisfaction or emotion. 

This is probably due to its truly awful script. With characters spouting lines that feel like something from an era of superhero films we've truly moved on from. Characters do and say things that feel nothing like what we've seen from them in previous films. It is absolutely insane how quickly characters go from 1 to 10 in terms of extremeness with next to no motivation at all, then just change their minds so quickly after. It's baffling. 

Aside from a couple of surprising performances, everyone just seems tired and not happy to be there. Jennifer Lawrence just looks like she doesn't want to be there at all, calling out her lines without the slightest hint of enthusiasm. It's no surprise that what happens with her character doesn't solicit any kind of emotion from the audience. Nicholas Hoult is also just completely one note and also bored. James McAvoy's performance is so inconsistent here, his character actually gets some interesting exploration, but some of his line deliveries are questionable at the very least. I was sad his hilarious and widely mocked "I don't know what to do" line from the first trailer was removed. 

Michael Fassbender continues to be the best thing about this prequel franchise, being gravitas and emotion to the role that makes everyone else pale in comparison. It would have helped to have in it more, as he doesn't even appear until around half way through the film. He deserves better than this. 

The two surprising performances are from Sophie Turner and Jessica Chastain, one for the better and one for the worst. Turner's less than charismatic performance in the previous films was easily one of the weakest parts, but here, she seems to have actually grown a lot as an actress, delivering a far more convincing accent and performance as she actually holds some of her scenes together quite well, despite the script.

Then there's Jessica Chastain as the villain. She is one of the most talented actresses of this generation, so I was actually very intrigued at what they might do with her. It turned out to be nothing. She plays the leader of the boring and badly designed group of aliens looking to harvest Grey's power for their own use. You've got an actress of Chastain's calibre and you get her to play such a bland, uninvolving villain that feels completely wasted. Again, another reason this feels like a superhero film from a different era, these films are slowly getting better with villains and this was a huge step back.

In terms of the good, as bad as some of the acting and the script is, it's still very watchable and quite entertaining in stretches. It even runs at a reasonable length of just around 1 hour 50, which is a whole half hour shorter than the previous film. It's definitely a welcome comedown, considering the last superhero film released was the draining 3 hour epic Endgame.

Some of the action is genuinely creative and fun too. There's actually very little action in the whole thing, but the final set-piece on a train makes great use of all these characters mixing their powers up and combining them to take out these forgettable villains. While I was worried about how some of special effects might turn out, it's actually a very nice looking film with some gorgeous moments here and there. It's a hell of an improvement on the ugly third act of Apocalypse where everything is just ugly brown sludge.

5/10 Dans

Dark Phoenix is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Battle Royale 2: Requiem (2003) - Review

Review:

*Originally written November 15th, 2016*

Jesus Christ. Where do I begin with this atrocity? I love the first Battle Royale, it's one of my favourite films. While I have brief images in my head of this sequel from when I was very young, I had never seen it fully. After rewatching the original yesterday, I thought now would be a good time to amend that. What a mistake.

The story of Battle Royale 2: Requiem intrigued me, and I really like the idea of it. The survivors of the first film start a terrorist movement against the government for what they had to go through. The government responds to this by altering Battle Royale a little and rounding up another classroom of teens to assault the terrorists. Sounds great, I'm glad they didn't rehash the first story, but the results are awful.

Not a single one of these kids are memorable. I never once cared when they died. The performances are all horrific too, especially the insanely over the top bad guy, who I loathed every minute on screen. I know the first wasn't exactly an in depth character study, but at least some of that cast were memorable and had some depth. It was nice to see some of the original characters pop up in the story through present day and flashbacks, it's just I wish they did something better with them.

My biggest problem is just how flawed his whole exercise was. The explosive collars are now paired together, so when one of them dies, they both die. What a stupid idea this was. The governments plan for taking down a group of terrorists is to send in soldiers that die two at a time? Why? That's so, so stupid.

Requiem still carries that OTT manga style gore from the first one, but it has none of the impact when you don't care for any of the events that unfold. A lot of the action is poorly done too, a lot of ugly and dirty shakey-cam and an increase on cheap looking CGI blood. The first major action scenes completely riffs off Saving Private Ryan's Normandy beach scene, but when it's done this badly, it feels like an insult.

I wish I hadn't bothered with this. A completely soulless and awful cash-in on the first and just terrible all round. I will add this film runs at 135 minutes, which is absurd for such a relatively simple concept. Honestly, just watch the first one again instead.


2/10 Dans

Battle Royale 2: Requiem is out now on DVD in the UK
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Hellboy (2019) - Review

Review:

*Originally written April 12th, 2019*

It's impossible to talk about about this reboot of Hellboy without bringing up the fact this is a reboot no one asked for. The fans of the Del Toro Hellboy films (A series of films that have a cult and dedicated fanbase) wanted Hellboy 3, not a reboot. There's no way round that and it was a struggle to even watch this without the fond memories of how much better Del Toro's films were.

I try to go into films with an open mind. Even ones that have everything stacked against it, despite some less than great trailers, but some ace posters. I try to see the positives. Neil Marshall is an interesting choice of a director, helming some of Game of Thrones best episodes and responsible for some great cult horror films in The Descent and Dog Soldiers (One I need to rewatch). Then the pretty stacked cast with David Harbour in the lead role, Ian McShane as his father and Sasha Lane gave me a small glimmer of hope. These attempts at looking for the positives were sadly in vein as Hellboy is currently sitting as possibly the worst film I've seen in cinemas this year (The worst of the worst are currently reserved as Netflix Originals)

This is pretty much a disaster on all levels. A charmless bore of an action-horror that tries to riff off much better films without even trying to attempt what makes them great. There's clear shades of Guardians of the Galaxy with its poppy soundtrack and a tone that seems more akin to Deadpool with its sarcastic humour that tries so hard and grotesque gore.

Harbour certainly tries his best and is definitely a good choice for the role of Hellboy, as is Ian McShane as Hellboy's father. Both excellent actors who try their best with such horrific writing. Hellboy's grouchy, reluctant hero attitude is definitely there, but there is never a reason to care. His character jumps from decision to decision with no real motivation, I was honestly baffled by some of the choices made by his character. There's a point made about his being a freak among the people and wanting monsters to have the chance he had, but aside from a tantrum he throws, he never shows this with his actions. Especially in a truly terrible character turn at the end that just comes out of nowhere.

Then his relationship with Ian McShane is completely charmless and without any chemistry or heart that made the one between Ron Perlman's Hellboy and John Hurt so engaging. All they really do is argue while Hellboy throws a tantrum. It was so boring and repetitive to watch. They try and make this relationship a central part of the film, but it never works. It's just a waste of Ian McShane, which is a sin in itself.

Sasha Lane at least brings some character to her role with a character that I was worried might end up being like that awful female character in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom where everything was a snarky comment or cringe-inducing interaction that would make a 13 year old girl who still uses Tumblr go "That's so me", but thankfully that wasn't the case. She was actually one of the only characters that actually had any sort of motivation due to her past with Hellboy and her parents. A little more focus and involving her in the plot would have gone a long way. 

One of the more worrying aspects of this was the casting of Milla Jovavich, an actress I genuinely believe has never been in a good film (Aside from Fifth Element, which I'm not even a big fan of). Unsurprisingly, she made for a damn awful villain, hamming up every scene she had by chewing through the scenery. I think she might have been the only one aware of the sort of film she was in, but hey, this is still probably one of the best films she's been in. Good for her! Plus as 90% of her character seemed to be CGI, she probably got to do very little for a solid paycheck. Think Cara Deleveigne in Suicide Squad. 

Oh, and Daniel Dae Kim is here doing very little with a very predictable character-arc. He seems to have this sad effect of having supporting roles in and being so utterly forgettable, which is such a shame, as he was great in Lost, despite how trash that show got towards the end. I should rewatch Lost at some point. 

A lot was made about how this was the "Edgier" and more violent reboot of Hellboy that commits to the gore and adult content of its comic. In all fairness, it does commit to this. There are some grotesque images and gore, especially towards the end as civilians are slaughtered and torn apart by some weird creature thing. Marshall clearly nails the idea in his head here, but the execution is less than desired. The gore looks cheap and ugly, as does most of the film. 

Marshall was definitely restrained by a much lower budget than Del Toro's films and it shows. The trailers made a big showcase of those money shots of a flame-covered Hellboy holding a sword and riding a dragon, but in the film, those trailer shots are as much as you see. It's literally those two shots. It's kind of embarrassing how the trailer promised some gonzo action and insanity like that, but never commit to it in the film.

Aside from those few choice moments of gore and some admittedly great character designs (Some of the things are gross and looked awesome), the CGI is poor throughout. Making all of the action scenes feel lifeless and filmed on a green screen. Del Toro's films were a grand display of creative and gorgeous practical designs and action, rarely relying on overblown CGI, this is the exact opposite. The only moment the action has any sort of fluidity to it is a brief moment in the epilogue that lasts a minute and left me thinking "Where on earth was this for the past two hours?" 


I didn't have any real hopes for Hellboy and unsurprisingly this is just a mess of a reboot. One that just made me yearn for another film by Del Toro or at the very least just want to watch the first two excellent films again. A charmless, lifeless and try-hard bore that has probably killed this franchise for good now and it's probably for the best. What a waste of a cast and concept. Cinema is dead.

3/10 Dans

Hellboy is out now in cinemas in the UK, with a 4K UHD Steelbook available to pre-order from Zavvi
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Dumbo (2019) - Review

Review:

*Originally written March 31st, 2019*

Well, it begins. The first of the four live-action remakes Disney are releasing this year and sadly, this is definitely one of the more middling entries in what I've found to be a pretty solid set of films so far. I was actually kind of interested in this one. The original Dumbo is one I adore and one of my favourites from Disney, a brisk 70 minutes that manages to pack in heart, humour and beautiful animation into a very brief run-time.

Tim Burton is also a very interesting choice of director. His last few films haven't been great and the last time he worked on a Disney film was an atrocious mess (His Alice in Wonderland holds a strong place as one of my most hated films of all time), but he's slowly started crawling back to the Burton I loved from the '90s. He's still got a ways to go, but Dumbo is definitely one of his stronger films of recent years, despite its many problems.

I don't mind the idea of Disney re-imagining their older properties for a new generation and I appreciate the attempt at adding more depth to a very thin story, but while it's all perfectly serviceable and has a good anti-corporate message (The irony, considering it comes from Disney), it just lacks the heart and soul of the original. 

I'm just having a hard time wondering why Disney bothered to hire Burton to direct this, when it ended up being so devoid of what makes Burton so great and unique. It's such a workmanlike and cookie-cutter creation that fits perfectly in line with what Disney are up to these days. Making films that are ticking boxes to satisfy broad, mainstream audiences in order to make some easy money, but failing to incite anything creative or original in fear of driving away audiences that shy away from anything even remotely different or interesting. 

That's why I'm having trouble with this. The execution of this is something I absolutely hate about modern cinema, but at the same time I kind of enjoyed it and mostly had a good time, despite how utterly by the numbers and passable it was. There are moments where Dumbo shines, which I will get to, but for the most part, it's very much cynical Disney, yet at the same time, very watchable. There's only so many free passes I can give to these films and I can feel my patience growing thinner with each one, there's only so much more I can take. Much like how I feel with superhero films, I think Endgame will be my turning point for that genre too.

It's not all bad though, like I said, this is certainly watchable and tells its story well enough with a great cast and mostly well-rounded characters. Danny DeVito unsurprisingly steals the show as the head of the failing circus, although it is hard to distinguish DeVito from Frank Reynolds at this point, but he's so insanely watchable and charismatic (Also, the Always Sunny cameo is gold). Colin Farrell is choosing some interesting projects right now, so it was a shame to see him be an absolutely fine lead with an obvious arc and doesn't get much in the way of showing off his acting skills. Michael Keaton on the other hand is clearly having the time of his life in his hammy performance that brought a lot of life to the screen during his screen-time.

Dumbo himself is a fantastic creation and just so adorable and easy to love. The photo-realistic animation is pretty astonishing and he feels like a real living creature, making it very easy to root for him and care when he's clearly in distress. An easy move for me, I hate seeing animals unhappy in any context. So that all worked. 

While it does lack Burton's Gothic flair and weird quirkiness, this is at least a beautiful film to look at, with a dark, rich colour pallet and fantastic set-design that really didn't feel like the work of CGI at all. They do attempt to do the infamous "Pink Elephants" scene from the original, but it is remarkably tame and far less weird and out there redo of that moment, which is a shame considering that's what Tim Burton is so good at. The most Burton the film gets is when we reach Keaton's futuristic circus that is a wonderfully designed steam-punk wonderland that I didn't expect at all. Once we reach that location in the third act, it's a damn smooth ride from there.


I don't know what else to say about this, I had enough trouble even coming up with all the previous things I just said. Tim Burton's Dumbo is a perfectly watchable remake that lacks what makes a Burton film unique, but the cast are great and it tells a story worth revisiting, but Disney really need to let these directors put their vision on the screen rather than just a cookie-cutter cash-grab that feels more like a list of boxes to tick as opposed to a film from a director with a singular vision.

6/10 Dans

Dumbo is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Super (2010) - Blu-ray Review

Review:

*Originally written March 16th, 2016*

2010's Super is a bizarre little film that was sadly over shadowed and mostly forgotten due its release so close to Kick-Ass, a film with a similar premise and ultra-violence. The comparisons are there and while I feel Super is definitely the weaker of the two films, it still holds up on its own and has its own unique feel and quirk to it.

After losing his wife to a drug dealer played by Kevin Bacon, Rainn Wilson takes up the misguided journey of winning her back by becoming a vigilante called the 'Crimson Bolt', he eventually is joined by Ellen Page's kid sidekick 'Boltie'.

The tones all over the place, it jumps from drama to pitch black comedy mostly very well, but there were a few moments that did not sit well with me at all. The rape scene in particular just felt off to me. Some of the jarring violence also just didn't sit with me either. While being a comedy, the violence is so graphic and gory, like way more than Kick-Ass, which went for more cartoony and over the top. Super on the other hand feels far more grounded with its portrayal of violence, you see people get killed in such brutal and low-key ways that it just felt disgusting. We're meant to root for this guy, but at one point he smashes a guy and woman's heads in with a wrench purely for butting in line, it really drew the line for me in whether I should be rooting for the "hero" of the story.

Rainn Wilson's character Frank is clearly a disturbed guy who justifies his violence and sees his mission as a sort of calling from god, which he sees in his own delusions. So the guy is clearly mentally ill, something I wish was explored a lot more. Wilson's performance was excellent though, I can't imagine anyone else in this role, he goes from pathetic, to sympathetic, to bad-ass over the course of 90 minutes and it felt right.

Ellen Page was also great as the sidekick, although her character was grating at times, she started off as really annoying, but her character grew on me as it went on and she delivers some of the best lines of the whole film. Her character's end is also extremely shocking and unexpected. 

I do appreciate James Gunn's use of practical gore, it truly is horrific and disgusting at times, which I'm sure is the intention. I do sound like I'm being negative about it, but I do really like Super, I like the idea of a more grounded normal man as a superhero film, despite the shortcomings. I don't believe this deserved to flop or be forgotten as much as it did either, but I'm glad Gunn managed to move on and get a gig directing Guardians of the Galaxy, which he did an amazing job with. 

I also really like how it subverted expectations with some of the twists. Involving a subplot with a police officer which comes to an unexpected and abrupt end, and the same with Ellen Page's character who goes down during the final battle.

One of my biggest problems is just how cheap this looks too. It feels very televisual, which is due to the low budget, but it does look ugly despite a nice colour scheme. Some of the editing is also really weird, I didn't like the use of '60s style Batman cartoon fonts popping up either, it just felt weird. 

There was a surprising heart at the centre of it all too, all thanks to Wilson's performance. You really do care for Frank most of the time and at moments it is really touching. Helped by Tyler Bates excellent score which delivers some genuinely nice tracks like "Two Perfect Moments", which I have loved since ever since the films release. 


Super is an angrier and more nasty relative of Kick-Ass, but it still holds its own thanks to Rainn Wilson's performance, Gunn's writing and direction and some nice gore, you just need to look past the bitter taste and the insane tonal shifts.

7/10 Dans

Super is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Alien (1979) - 4K Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written March 7th, 2019*

It's always pure joy for me to get to see one of my favourite films of mine at the cinema. Even better when it's presented in a gorgeous 4K remaster like the one displayed here. I've had a long history with the Alien franchise, I used to frequently watch Alien and Aliens on DVD on repeat as a kid, but I always liked this one more than Aliens. I just prefer the slow-burn slasher aspect of this to the more action-heavy sequel. The less said about Alien 3 and Resurrection the better though.

Being it's 40th anniversary, this still holds up extremely well. This is Ridley Scott on the top of his game. There is so much detail in every part of the production design, from intricate Nostromo ship to the foggy alien planet, everything is a feast for the eyes. Made even better with its reference quality 4K transfer. One I will be buying when it hits disc in late April.

It carries a very simplistic plot. A crew of a spaceship investigate a distress signal on a planet while on their way back to Earth, but end up bringing in an Alien entity that slowly starts to pick off the crew one by one. 

What helps most is how likeable the crew are at the beginning. We spend a good 50 minutes or so with these characters before the chaos starts. The cast all work well off each other, making for some surprisingly decent bursts of humour that I had completely forgotten were in this film. Sigourney Weaver is obviously the most developed of the characters, but it's a stroke of genius that she doesn't become front and centre until very late into the film, making me appreciate how much of a surprise her survival and role must have been back when this released. Weaver herself is fantastic though, a strong female lead that takes control of the situation and is never once a damsel in distress, making for one of the most iconic characters in sci-fi.

The Alien itself is still an absolute masterclass in creature design. The practical costume looks incredible and is used just enough to keep it mysterious and intimidating. It really shows that less is more, using the shadows and dark areas to hide various parts of the costume is a smart move that pays off in spades. I wish the franchise would go back to its roots and use suits like this again, as this holds up far better than the overly CGI look of the creatures in Alien: Covenant, which was only 2 years ago. 

I won't lie when I say some things just do not hold up. It's easy to make fun of a film made 40 years ago, but I could see why some people could find some of the effects a bit cheesy and laughable. In particular, after the alien bursts out of John Hurts chest, it runs across the table, and it looks a bit dodgy to say the least. Then there's the scene where Ash starts to malfunction and make weird sounds while all I could think of is he might just puking up lots of cum. 

I also miss what a talented filmmaker Ridley Scott used to be before having one of the most hit-and-miss careers of any director I can think of. He uses everything to his advantage here to rack out tension from nearly every scene. It's such a shame he's never managed to live up to this high standard as he continues to try continue the Alien franchise, but never coming close to what made this original film so great.

The sound design is utterly insane here too. Jerry Goldsmith's score is one for the books and seeing this in a loud theatre with surround sound was such a treat. It made me appreciate just how important sound design is to a film like this and how much it brings to the tension and dread of the whole thing.


Alien is still a defining sci-fi horror classic and easily the peak of the series. One of my favourite films of all-time brought back to life with a gorgeous 4K transfer that makes me appreciate a film I already loved so much. The peak of the franchise and possibly Ridley Scott's career. Pure cinema. 

10/10 Dans

Alien is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK with a 4K UHD release due out April 22nd with a steelbook available from Zavvi to pre-order

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Cold Pursuit (2019) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written February 26th, 2019*

You kinda know what to expect when it comes to Liam Neeson action thrillers by this point. Aside from the Taken sequels, they are perfectly serviceable pieces of throwaway entertainment. I was very much expecting this to be more of the same, but instead, it is far more out there, weird and surprisingly different to his usual revenge films.

There are so many strokes of such weird broad comedy littered throughout. I mean, it can be a bit of a mess at times, I rarely knew when I was meant to just be laughing, taking it seriously or just meant to take in the gonzo randomness of it all. At the very least, there are some very strong moments of broad, strange humour that do land, I just wish it was a little more consistent for the most part.

Neeson is as reliable as he usually is, once again playing a man who is avenging the death of a family member. In this case, the family member being his son, who is found dead of a heroin overdose despite the fact he was never known to be a drug user, so see goes on a quest to figure out who did it. Even in his older age, Neeson is still a competent action star and they use his age to the films advantage, never getting him to do insane stunts or anything to unrealistic for a man his age. He does also display some nice touches towards the beginning as a man distraught of the loss of his young son, probably helped by his own loss of family in real life. 

While being an action film, there's never really any massive memorable set-piece for the most part, aside from one final shootout that barely even has Neeson in it. It's mostly a series of cold executions from Neeson, as he makes his way from target to target, gathering information and coldly killing anyone involved with his sons death. I was a little reminded of Taken, which I always appreciated for him just coldly murdering anyone who got in his way and the take no prisoners attitude.

As entertaining as this all was, there's a lot added subplots that really don't add up to much. The weirdest of which being Laura Dern as the wife of Neeson's character, who really just had no purpose in the film and is quickly written out of the film with a brief and pointless role. Then there is also the inclusion of two cops who you'd assume would be tailing Neeson's exploits, but the two stories barely come together and also just feel like needless padding. The removal of both of these could have easily given the film a much brisker run-time, not that 2 hours is completely unreasonable.

There is also a decent amount of the run-time dedicated to the villain, which is rare for a film like this. I honestly could not tell you anything about the bad guy in a previous Liam Neeson action film. Thankfully, Tom Bateman's "Viking" is a fun piece of eccentric villainy, a camp, pantomime performance filled with weird little ticks and characterisations that really steal the show.  

I was also unaware this was a remake of a Norwegian thriller "In Order of Disappearance", also directed by Hans Peter Moland. I'm not sure how this compares to the original, but I am very interested to check it out at some point. In all honesty, I am shocked this wasn't another collaboration between Liam Neeson and Jean Collet-Serra. They do so many action films together, that I just expect every new Liam Neeson thriller is directed by him.

So I guess that's why I was so surprised by the weird and unusual tone for such a film, but for all of the films tonal messes, Moland has directed a genuinely great looking film, making use of its gorgeous snowy town in a fictional town in Norway. Thinking about it, this might actually be Neeson's best film since The Grey. It's not quite up to the level of that masterpiece, but I think with rewatches, this could grow on me as I adjust to the weirdness and tonal awkwardness.


Cold Pursuit might not be what you would expect from a typical Liam Neeson thriller, but is all the more better for it. Neeson is reliable, the action is cold and brutal, and it's surprisingly out there and weird. It's a shame it's done so poorly, as it's one of Neeson's best in years.

7/10 Dans

Cold Pursuit is out now in cinemas in the UK, with a 4K UHD Steelbook available to pre-order from Zavvi

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Destroyer (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written February 21st, 2019*

Well, looks like I'm in for another year where my favourite films of the year don't play anywhere near me in theatres. Meaning I either need to wait for a watchable torrent or a Blu-ray/4K release down the line. This is the state of cinema in the UK outside of huge cities at the moment. Unless it's Star Wars, Marvel or award contending Oscar-bait, I do not get to see the film at the cinema. Leaving me to wonder why I even bother any more.

Destroyer is already one of those, and it's only February (It was released here in January, but like I said, showed nowhere near me. Despite being heavily advertised at the Guildford Odeon. Honestly, the month leading up to its release, any film rated 12A or above showed the trailer for this. Then its release date came and nothing). 

I'm amazed how overlooked this has been this awards season. Nicole Kidman is absolutely on fire here, in her most volatile, heartbreaking and ferocious turn I've ever seen from her. There's obvious comparisons to Charlize Theron in Monster, where they "Ugly" themselves up to look barely recognisable. It works here incredibly well, making for not just the best performance of Kidman's career, but one of the best of 2018. It is a travesty this was overlooked at this years Oscar's in favour of more baitey performances. 

Outside of Kidman's performance, this is still an incredibly effective and uncomfortable corrupt police thriller that spans multiple time periods. Karyn Kusama balances everything with such care, delivering some powerful storytelling with bleak and brutal violence, leading to a surprisingly poignant ending (Although I'm not sure about that final shot).

I was instantly reminded of some of Taylor Sheridan's works throughout. Being a coldly told and bleak story featuring gorgeous cinematography and bursts of harsh violence. I'm amazed this came from the director of films like Jennifer's Body and the atrocious Aeon Flux, it's rare that a director can move on from films like that to create something far more meaningful and worth watching. I'm very impressed and once again she's shockingly overlooked along with several other female director's who failed to be nominated at this years Oscars.

We've seen corrupt police dramas told many times before, perhaps peaking in FX's series 'The Shield", but I really have a soft spot for films about these broken people who use their abuse of power in order to earn some kind of redemption down the line. While Kidman's Erin Bell is definitely not one of the most evil of corrupt cops we've seen in media, she is definitely one of the more interesting. Her handling of guilt after the events decades before the film begins which we learn through flashbacks throughout makes for some genuinely compelling viewing, leading to how she ends up the way she is.

Then there's the lengths she'll go to cover up her crimes and how that effects the relationships with the people around her. The relationship with her daughter is a little cliched, but Kidman's sincere performance certainly makes something we've seen before work, especially with help of the excellent script. 


I'm really surprised this was completely slept on. I know I have a soft spot for these sorts of films, but it really is something special that really deserves seeking out. Kidman's performances carries a film that is excellent in all other aspects of its own right. A tight, compelling, beautifully shot piece of harrowing police drama that will most certainly be in my top 10 of 2019. 

10/10 Dans

Destroyer is out May 27th, 2019 on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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