The Predator (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written September 17th, 2018*

I'm really torn on this. Part of me really enjoyed the nonsense on display here, a completely insane, nonsensical throwback action film with sensibilities of '80s cinema, but it's hard to overlook what an incoherent, choppy mess this is.

Shane Black is one of the best writers and directors working today, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and The Nice Guys are two films I adore and Iron Man 3 is easily one of Marvel's best films (Despite what the virgins say), so it was pretty exciting to see him be put in charge of a franchise in desperate need of reinvention and fresh blood. Sadly, it's clear that Fox have completely butchered what could have been an excellent film, to instead deliver a remarkably dumb, but entertaining and breezy watch.

It tries to go back to the basics of the original, a rag-tag group of mentally unstable soldiers have to deal with a Predator invasion of Earth. It gets needlessly convoluted and has a huge amount of misguided story choices. The portrayal of mental health is absolutely bizarre and leads to a tasteless pro-suicide message for a character, I didn't think cinema was capable of this in 2018.

Then there's the autism portrayal. The lead character's son (Jacob Tremblay) is on the autistic spectrum and the film does that misguided thing where they portray autism as a superpower, rather than a real struggle. This is where things get really insane, without getting into real spoilers, autism is one of the reasons the Predator's are on Earth. It's a key plot point and while it's not mean-spirited or tasteless, it just feels off.

One of the big problems is just how much is crammed into this 107 minute film, there are huge gaps where it feels scenes have been cut. People appear out of nowhere or seem to gather information based on nothing. It seems like only a few hours have past, but a package manages to be sent from Mexico, to a PO box, then the lead character's home, all in the space of less than a day. It's just odd and really weird. Then in the final action scene a character gives someone a key item, but then another character has it with no explanation at all.

Where Predator does shine a little is with its characters. Shane Black is excellent with character, and while these characters could have done with a bit more work, they at least all feel unique and have just enough back story to hold them up. Boyd Holbrook is instantly likeable as the lead, he lacks the presence of Arnie, but he manages to hold his own and carry the film, while delivering a tiny bit of heart do to the relationship with his son.

I was really looking forward to seeing Keegan-Michael Key in this and he's probably the highlight of the side team. Thomas Jane was fine too, although his character suffering from tourettes syndrome was again, another punchline for mental illness, but I guess that's how a group of mentally unstable murderers for the government would act? Not entirely sure what Alfie Allen's purpose was here though, aside from a few mentions of magic tricks and his hokey Irish accent.

Being a Predator film, you would expect to see Predator's tear people up and they do. The violence is grizzly and as brutal as you'd expect, being are torn apart, destroyed and dismembered. Black's direction for the action is mostly great, but a few muddled moments in the third act made it hard to see what is going on. A big character died towards the end and I didn't even know until I was informed by my friend after. The Predator really shines when its being a big dumb action film and avoiding the awkward plot and attempts at storytelling. I was also a bit disappointed by the use of CGI over practical effects 90% of the time, and some of it is quite painful to watch, especially in those final action scenes.

It's painfully clear that most of the problems come from the third act, which was entirely re-shot, I have no idea what went wrong with the original ending, but I can't imagine it was much worse than this. Those last 20 or so minutes are when things become nearly unbearably dumb, like, I was in shock and amazement at just how stupid things got. They threw everything at the wall and saw what would stick and it's very little. I feel in the writers room they had a competition at who could come up with the dumbest stuff and see who would win, to the point where I feel they were just taking the piss. It's a shame too, because the more I think about it, the first couple of acts are pretty solid and actually build up an interesting story.

The inclusion of the Super Predator was one of the least interesting things they could come up with. There was nothing about this 11ft monster that was interesting, it was spoiled in the trailers and aside from his size, he really is no different from the smaller Predators. I did appreciate them expanding the Predator universe a bit more, explaining why they do what they do. Some might say it ruins the mystery of these creatures, but I'm feeling generous, so I'll give them this one. It's just unfortunate the thing they were after was *That*.

While part of me did enjoy this, I shouldn't, but I did. It's a complete mess and sets up the series to go in a direction I have no interest in. I'd honestly rather see another reboot to the series than see them continue the story they started here. We'll wait and see what happens, but I honestly can't see this doing very well. The reviews were poor an marketing was less than great, but we'll see. Part of me wants to see this succeed because it's a big-budget adult rated film that we don't get a huge amount of anymore, but part of me wants it to fail so it learns from the mistakes of this. 


Shane Black's The Predator is neither the great franchise redirection you wanted, nor the absolute disaster you've heard, it sits somewhere in the middle. It's big, it's extremely dumb and it runs with it, but when you look past a huge amount of flaws, it's a perfectly watchable and mind-numbing exercise in throwback '80s action with a decent cast.

6/10 Dans

The Predator is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Aliens vs Predator: Requiem (2007) - Blu-ray Review

Review:

*Originally written January 2nd, 2017*

I don't know how you manage to fuck up a concept as fun as two of the most famous aliens in cinema history going to war with each other? And I don't know how you managed to fuck it up twice? All they seemed to learn from the first one is that it "Needed more gore", so they added a lot in this to make a nasty, mean-spirited film that is more disgusting than fun.

Every character is awful and the cast seems to be led entirely by TV actors. We have Michelle from 24, Half-Sack from Sons of Anarchy, Rickety Cricket from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and that guy from True Blood. The performances are serviceable for what this is, but every character is either annoying, one-note or obnoxious. I cannot think of a single memorable character in this shit heap.

In a film about Aliens vs Predators, is there any fun action? I honestly could not tell you. Every scene seems to be shot in unwatchable pitch-black. Who on Earth thought it would be a good idea to the entire last hour in such a way you couldn't tell what was happening? Did they just leave the lens cap on and keep the footage anyway? It would not surprise me if that happened.

Requiem at least ditches the PG-13 rating of the first and goes back to the roots of the R-rated mayhem of the respective franchises, but they go too far with it. There was nothing enjoyable or fun about seeing some random kid get a chestburster early on. Even worse, in a later scene, which is the most disgusting and horrible moment of this whole mess, a pregnant woman is implanted with alien eggs until they hatch and explode out her stomach, killing her unborn child. It was just nasty and served no purpose.

I'm not entirely sure what the story here was? Since the Alien or Predators have no dialogue, it just seems like they're fight in thrown in the middle of some small hick town melodrama which was not interesting in the least. All the different characters have boring side-plots that all end with them meeting up once the creatures start killing people.

I also looked up the meaning of the word "Requiem" and this is what I found: 
1. A Mass for the repose of the souls of the dead.
2. a musical composition setting parts of a requiem Mass, or of a similar character.
3. an act or token of remembrance.

What the hell did any of those have to do with this film? I'm pretty sure a producer just thought it sounded cool and added it as the subtitle without any further thought. God, this was a mess. I'm even complaining about the title. 

Please reboot the Alien Vs Predator franchise with a decent team behind it. There is a lot of potential here with two huge and expanded universes to explore, and this is what we get? The fuck, man.

2/10 Dans

Aliens vs Predator: Requiem is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Predators (2010) - 4K Review

Review:

*Original written August 29th, 2018*

I remember being extremely excited by Predators when it was released, but disappointed I wasn't old enough to see it at cinemas. I'd always thought this was a huge improvement over Predator 2 and a big step down from the first, and it still is. I mean it's fine, there's a lot to love here and it's a huge step in the right direction after those awful AVP films, but it's still a bit of mess.

There's a cool idea at the centre of this and it shoves you right into it from opening second. A random group of dangerous humans from Earth are dropped onto an alien planet that the Predators are using as a hunting ground. It goes back to the simplistic jungle setting of the first and carries the tone right, there's a lot of homages to the original (One of the cast even carries a minigun). 

It's just one of those films that gets worse and worse as it goes on. It starts off extremely strong and eventually falls apart by the end. There's a bigger variety of Predators this time around and creatures they use as part of their hunt. I always remember this film looking quite ugly and digital, it might be the 4K transfer, but I really liked the look of it this time, the colours are a bit washed out, but the jungle looks gorgeous and the creature effects hold up pretty well, even the dog things looked way better than I remember.

My biggest problems with Predators are some of the casting. Adrien Brody is a fine actor, but he really doesn't work as an action hero. He tries to channel the ruthless hero with a gruff, Christian Bale doing Batman voice, but it just comes off as a bit shit. Plus the fact he did some silly method acting stuff for a role in a film like this. Then there's Laurence Fishburne who continues to just be the worst part of every genre film he's been in for the past decade, just brutally over the top pantomime acting that feels like its from a different film. He's the worst.

There is a decent mystery at the centre of this. You slowly learn more and more about the characters, leading to some effective reveals. Topher Grace's character in particular has the creepiest arc that makes more sense of rewatches. It's just a shame that this was clearly meant to be the start of a new chapter in the franchise and for whatever reason, starts a story that will never get finished. I'm not entirely sure why, as this got decent reviews and was financially successful. 

Most of the cast are much like the first film, one note, but kinda memorable. There are complete cannon fodder, but play their parts exactly how you'd expect. Walton Goggins is the racist hillbilly (When is he not) and Danny Trejo is the gruff Mexican. I know I'm not here for a character study piece, but maybe spending a bit more time with characters before slaughtering them could have helped. Stretching the run-time a little more could have helped.


Predators doesn't live up to the original, but it's a big improvement over the second. It could do with a lot of fixing up, but for the most part, Predators is a pretty fun 100 minutes and a decent little stop before what turns out to be a hopefully excellent Predator reboot/sequel from Shane Black.

6/10 Dans

Predators is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD now in the UK
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Predator 2 (1990) - 4K Review

Review:

*Originally written August 29th, 2018*

I've never really got on with Predator 2 and that hasn't changed here. I appreciate them trying to change the scenery up by taking The Predator to the concrete jungle of Los Angeles compared to the actual jungle, but it just doesn't work, making for something that just feels a bit off. The lack of Arnie is a bit of a killer too, even though his replacement Danny Glover is merely fine.

I always forget the weird and deranged futuristic Los Angeles this takes place in. It almost feels like a bad Sci-Fi Channel film at times, everyone has ridiculous over the top weaponry (Glover's red dot sight pistol is ugly and lame to look at) and the different gang members throughout the city are pretty cringe and lack any sort of menace. 

It does feel very '90s, compared to the '80s'ness of the first. It's a bit grimy and ugly to look at, especially when looking at the gorgeous jungles of the first. The 4K does at least make things a little nicer to look at, as the textures pop a bit more and the neon colours are much deeper, especially the night scenes, where most of the film takes place. Predator 2 has always been an uglier film, but this at the very least the prettiest it's ever been.

I do always forget how nasty and violent this is compared to the first. The first was violent, but this one takes thing up a notch. Maybe due to the gritty aesthetic, it gives it a darker edge. I saw this was originally rated NC-17 in America before cuts, so I'm interested to find out if the uncut version is available at all. There's the usually stuff you'd expect from a predator film, people are skinned, blown up and torn apart, and it is quite grizzly, even by today's standard. Luckily, there is nothing as nasty or horrible as the pregnant lady scene from Alien vs Predator: Requiem.

While Danny Glover is in no way a stand in for Arnie, he does fine. He barely feels any different from his Lethal Weapon character. He dresses the same, he's an ageing cop and has the same attitude. I was expecting him to say "I'm too old for this shit" at some point, but that sadly never happened. The highlight of the cast is easily Gary Busey, in his first role after his motorbike accident, and he's easily the best part, the film actually comes alive and feels fun when he's on screen.

My biggest problem with Predator 2 is just how dull it all feels. The action is bigger and it carries a more expensive budget, but it never catches the fun of the first and mostly just rehashes a lot of stuff, making for an action film that is competent, but ultimately kinda boring. I pin a lot of this in shoving The Predator in the city, it just doesn't work and I was they'd gone in a different direction. 

There is a cool nod to the Alien franchise that most people know about by now. The Alien skull is in the Predator's trophy room towards the end, which was a hint that Fox were working on Alien vs Predator, but it ended up taking 14 years to come to fruition, leaving the Predator franchise dormant. But in all honesty, Alien vs Predator makes Predator 2 look like goddamn Die Hard. 


Predator 2 is what it is, a '90s sequel to an '80s action classic that doubles down on action and violence, but just feels like a soulless sequel that never manages to come close to the greatness of the original, despite a few moments of watchable grizzly action.

5/10 Dans

Predator 2 is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Predator (1987) - 4K Review

Review:

*Originally written August 29th, 2018*

With Shane Black's The Predator out in a couple of weeks, I thought I'd go through the original Predator trilogy again. Timing worked out that they were just released on 4K and I just my new TV, so everything worked out okay. I will not being watching the AVP films though. I watched them both last year, and I have no desire to go back to them for a long time. 

Predator is a film of its time, a macho cheese fest of one liners and '80s action. They really don't make them like this anymore, and I miss that. It's the simplest of stories, a group of special forces soldiers are hunted in the jungle by an alien, and that's that. There's so overbearing subplots or anything overstretched. It runs with that story for a lean and mean 100 minutes. 

The Predator itself is a fine creation, the ultimate hunting machine that uses thermal vision (But, there are little hints it has more special visions that we see in later films). I always liked how nasty the Predator is, he decimates people, skins them and hangs them up. Making for some really gruesome imagery. While some of the CGI doesn't hold up, all of the practical stuff is awesome and the Predator's array of weaponry is cool and still iconic today.

It also features the manliest handshake ever committed to film. Arnie and Carl Weather's open bro-shake is now deeply rooted in memes, but it is still a sight to see. I was surprised at how much smaller Arnie looks compared to Commando which came out the year before, but I read online he lost a lot of weight to appear more like a real soldier, but he is still truly a gorgeous specimen of a man. I know Arnie isn't the best of actors, but he carries the film purely on his charisma and build. 

The rest of soldiers are fine too. They all play their part and have good chemistry with each other. Something the upcoming Predator film is clearly trying to recreate based on the trailers, but it all works. They're a variety of archetypes and clear inventions of the '80s. I'd argue that I never felt anything for any of them as they're slaughtered by The Predator, but it doesn't make it any less fun.

The biggest investment is easily in Arnie's character Dutch, who has sadly yet to resurface for any of the sequels. All the strongest stuff is towards the end, where it is just Dutch vs The Predator. There's some really cool and creative moments, especially the scene where Arnie covers his gorgeous body in cold mud to hide from The Predator's thermal vision. The Predator's laugh at the end is a bit weird and off, but you gotta give some leeway for an intergalactic alien that has a fucked up mouth and goes from planet to planet hunting their most dangerous species.

The previous releases of Predator have suffered serious transfer issues. The Blu-ray I own has the awful DNR effect that makes everything look like they're made of wax, but thankfully in this 4K transfer, Predator has never looked better. It suffers some issues in the nighttime scenes, but the day scenes are vibrant, colourful and loaded with detail. This is the first back catalogue 4K I've seen and it's great to see they're doing a wonderful job with remastering their releases. 


Predator is by far the best of the franchise so far, a perfectly entertaining '80s action slasher that displays Arnie's charisma and action chops while delivering practical and extremely entertaining action. God, I wish they still made films like this. 

8/10 Dans

Predator is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD now in the UK
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