Angel Has Fallen (2019) - Review

Review:

*Originally written September 1st, 2019*

Now, the Fallen series has possibly been the furthest you can get from high-art when it comes to cinema, but there's just something about this series that keeps me coming back to it. It's possibly the '90s feeling action throwback feeling that I have a soft spot for and the fact Gerard Butler's incredibly named hero "Mike Banning" is one of the most deranged and psychopathic leads I've seen from a film of this genre.

I'm genuinely amazed this franchise has now released its third and final(?) film after starting as one of the two Die Hard in the White House knock-offs of 2013. For what the previous two films have been, they were good fun, tasteless, xenophobic, racist and violent, but it felt like it knew this and ran with it. I sort of appreciate them for that, plus its rare we have these mid-range budgeted, adult action films anymore.

This time around Mike Banning is framed for an assassination attempt on the President (Now replaced by Morgan Freeman as Aaron Eckhart did not return) and must clear his name while trying to find out who really did it. It's such basic level stuff and a story we've seen countless times before. Even the Taken series used its third entry to do this very plot, but with a wife instead of president. Despite this, Angel Has Fallen still makes for a very watchable and moderately entertaining action film.

Gerard Butler attempts to add more depth to a Mike Banning that is very different from the previous two films. I assume they listened to the criticisms and attempted to add humanity to what was a previously one note sociopath. Honestly, this is not the Mike Banning who would torture people for fun and tell foreign terrorists to "Go back to Fuckheadistan". While I appreciate the more vulnerable take on Mike Banning who is feeling his age and his previous adventures are beginning to take a serious toll on his physical and mental health, it's handled about as well as you could expect from a series of this level.

The attempts at humanising Banning are surface level at best as all this is often overlooked in favour of getting to the next action scene or moving the plot forward. Now, I was never expecting some character drama looking at Mike Banning's acceptance of his own mortality, but I was at least expecting something more when they were ditching the tone of the previous films for something a bit more grim. Take Logan as a good example, the third in a trilogy where the previous two films were not so good, but then the third film delivered something much more thoughtful, but at the same time managed to be an incredible action film. That's what I feel Angel is going for, but it doesn't come close.

Despite failing to make something meaningful out of its characters, this is still a fairly brisk and watchable action film. The plot of Banning being framed is outrageously predictable and you'd have to have a very low IQ not to figure out who the real villain is a few minutes in. It's so very formulaic, but Gerard Butler actually manages to carry this, as does some solid action.

Once again changing directors with each film, Ric Roman Waugh actually does a decent job with most of the action. It's not John Wick level stuff, but it gets the job done, The violence feels punchy and brutal while there is minor moments of inspiration within the gun-play with some use of POV. It does lack in comparison to the more memorable stuff in the previous films, there's nothing close to the opening of Olympus with gunship wiping out DC or the motorbike chase from London, but like I said, it's very watchable and competent.

What's more surprising is the subplot involving Nick Nolte as Banning's ex-Vietnam vet survivalist estranged father. Nolte is clearly having a blast playing such a deranged coot of a character who pretty much steals the show with his brief scenes and even gets in on some of the action. The relationship with his father does add just amount of depth to Banning to help figure out how he became the psychotic man he's been portrayed as, but as you expect, that's handled as well as you would expect from this film. There's also a mid-credits scene between the two that is one of the most out of place, insane, unfunny and cringiest things I've seen from a film this year. 

Whether or not this is the end of the adventures of Mike Banning is another question too. The advertisement and trailers did tease this was the end of this franchise, but it lacks a definitive ending. So I can expect a fourth one if this one does as well as the last two. Although in all honesty, I say keep 'em coming. It's probably a good thing, but we really don't get that many films like this anymore. Good bless Mike Banning.


There's very little else to say about Angel Has Fallen, if you're on board with this throwback series, you'll find something to enjoy in the merely acceptable finale to the trilogy, but if not, you will probably hate this as much as the other two, or maybe less, as the horrible parts of the first two are pretty much absent here. It's sad to say, but Angel Has Fallen is another underwhelming franchise film from 2019 that failed to live up to the previous entries, but at the same time is still acceptable entertainment, if entirely forgettable.

6/10 Dans

Angel Has Fallen is out now in cinemas in the UK

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Live Free or Die Hard (2007) - Blu-ray Review

Review:

*Originally written December 25th, 2016*


Watching Live Free or Die Hard (Or Die Hard 4.0 in the UK) straight after watching the first three is like being given a Diet Pepsi when you want a full fat Coke. I mean, it's fine, but it's just not the same. Give me a fucking full on sugary Coke. 

The fourth entry in the Die Hard series and the first in 12 years when it was released just feels like someone who had their balls cut off. The character of John McClane is still there and he has his moments where the character of the original trilogy comes out, but for the most part he feels like a completely different person. 

One of the main problems is due to the cut PG-13 rating, which somehow managed to translate into one of the tamest 15 rated (In the UK) films I've ever seen. McClane doesn't smoke or swear, he's fairly cleaned up and boring. When he does swear it's pretty lame and don't get my started on the "Yippe Kai Yay, motherfucker" being censored with a gunshot. 

What is great about the McClane character is that he's a reluctant hero. An every man who is constantly put into these extraordinary situations. In Live Free or Die Hard, he's merely just a cop doing his job. It's just not very interesting. I like the idea of John McClane, who is an old school guy who doesn't understand technology having to deal with a terrorist threat involving cyber terrorism, but they don't really do a lot with it.

It's mostly just a really annoying Justin Long spouting out stuff McClane or the audience doesn't understand, then McClane responding "In English" or something. This happens a lot through the film. It really doesn't help that Justin Long is such an irritating dick. He's so awkward and annoying, which is a shame, because I actually like Justin Long when he's in something good. Here, he's just wasted.

There is at least some really interesting and fun action scenes. There is some real creativity on display. Sure, the finale with the jet is absurd, but everything before that is pretty awesome. I loved the fire extinguisher kill and the killing the helicopter with a car was inspired. Len Wiseman does a pretty good job creating a visually fine film. The colours are all dull and washed out, but there is a lot of competent film-making on display, which is more than I can say for the abortion that is A Good Day to Die Hard....

Die Hard is well known for its villains. We've had Hans Gruber, Colonel Stuart and Simon Gruber, but now we have Peter Gabriel... who is boring and miscast. Timothy Olyphont is a wonderful actor, his work in Justified is amazing, it's one of the most underrated shows of all-time. I know that was post-Die Hard 4, but he was still known for cowboy like roles thanks to Deadwood, but he's reduced to a computer hacker role and it just feels wrong. I could not think of a better Die Hard film than John McClane going up against a gun-slinging Timothy Olyphant, it would have beautiful.


So that's Live Free or Die Hard, a diluted, bland experience that ruins the character of John McClane, but it at least has some genuinely spectacular set-pieces and action. It's just a shame that the film had its balls snipped off. There is at least an uncut version out there, but it's been 9 years now and there's no sign of a Blu-ray release in the UK. Disgusting.

5/10 Dans

Live Free or Die Hard is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Hellboy (2019) - Review

Review:

*Originally written April 12th, 2019*

It's impossible to talk about about this reboot of Hellboy without bringing up the fact this is a reboot no one asked for. The fans of the Del Toro Hellboy films (A series of films that have a cult and dedicated fanbase) wanted Hellboy 3, not a reboot. There's no way round that and it was a struggle to even watch this without the fond memories of how much better Del Toro's films were.

I try to go into films with an open mind. Even ones that have everything stacked against it, despite some less than great trailers, but some ace posters. I try to see the positives. Neil Marshall is an interesting choice of a director, helming some of Game of Thrones best episodes and responsible for some great cult horror films in The Descent and Dog Soldiers (One I need to rewatch). Then the pretty stacked cast with David Harbour in the lead role, Ian McShane as his father and Sasha Lane gave me a small glimmer of hope. These attempts at looking for the positives were sadly in vein as Hellboy is currently sitting as possibly the worst film I've seen in cinemas this year (The worst of the worst are currently reserved as Netflix Originals)

This is pretty much a disaster on all levels. A charmless bore of an action-horror that tries to riff off much better films without even trying to attempt what makes them great. There's clear shades of Guardians of the Galaxy with its poppy soundtrack and a tone that seems more akin to Deadpool with its sarcastic humour that tries so hard and grotesque gore.

Harbour certainly tries his best and is definitely a good choice for the role of Hellboy, as is Ian McShane as Hellboy's father. Both excellent actors who try their best with such horrific writing. Hellboy's grouchy, reluctant hero attitude is definitely there, but there is never a reason to care. His character jumps from decision to decision with no real motivation, I was honestly baffled by some of the choices made by his character. There's a point made about his being a freak among the people and wanting monsters to have the chance he had, but aside from a tantrum he throws, he never shows this with his actions. Especially in a truly terrible character turn at the end that just comes out of nowhere.

Then his relationship with Ian McShane is completely charmless and without any chemistry or heart that made the one between Ron Perlman's Hellboy and John Hurt so engaging. All they really do is argue while Hellboy throws a tantrum. It was so boring and repetitive to watch. They try and make this relationship a central part of the film, but it never works. It's just a waste of Ian McShane, which is a sin in itself.

Sasha Lane at least brings some character to her role with a character that I was worried might end up being like that awful female character in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom where everything was a snarky comment or cringe-inducing interaction that would make a 13 year old girl who still uses Tumblr go "That's so me", but thankfully that wasn't the case. She was actually one of the only characters that actually had any sort of motivation due to her past with Hellboy and her parents. A little more focus and involving her in the plot would have gone a long way. 

One of the more worrying aspects of this was the casting of Milla Jovavich, an actress I genuinely believe has never been in a good film (Aside from Fifth Element, which I'm not even a big fan of). Unsurprisingly, she made for a damn awful villain, hamming up every scene she had by chewing through the scenery. I think she might have been the only one aware of the sort of film she was in, but hey, this is still probably one of the best films she's been in. Good for her! Plus as 90% of her character seemed to be CGI, she probably got to do very little for a solid paycheck. Think Cara Deleveigne in Suicide Squad. 

Oh, and Daniel Dae Kim is here doing very little with a very predictable character-arc. He seems to have this sad effect of having supporting roles in and being so utterly forgettable, which is such a shame, as he was great in Lost, despite how trash that show got towards the end. I should rewatch Lost at some point. 

A lot was made about how this was the "Edgier" and more violent reboot of Hellboy that commits to the gore and adult content of its comic. In all fairness, it does commit to this. There are some grotesque images and gore, especially towards the end as civilians are slaughtered and torn apart by some weird creature thing. Marshall clearly nails the idea in his head here, but the execution is less than desired. The gore looks cheap and ugly, as does most of the film. 

Marshall was definitely restrained by a much lower budget than Del Toro's films and it shows. The trailers made a big showcase of those money shots of a flame-covered Hellboy holding a sword and riding a dragon, but in the film, those trailer shots are as much as you see. It's literally those two shots. It's kind of embarrassing how the trailer promised some gonzo action and insanity like that, but never commit to it in the film.

Aside from those few choice moments of gore and some admittedly great character designs (Some of the things are gross and looked awesome), the CGI is poor throughout. Making all of the action scenes feel lifeless and filmed on a green screen. Del Toro's films were a grand display of creative and gorgeous practical designs and action, rarely relying on overblown CGI, this is the exact opposite. The only moment the action has any sort of fluidity to it is a brief moment in the epilogue that lasts a minute and left me thinking "Where on earth was this for the past two hours?" 


I didn't have any real hopes for Hellboy and unsurprisingly this is just a mess of a reboot. One that just made me yearn for another film by Del Toro or at the very least just want to watch the first two excellent films again. A charmless, lifeless and try-hard bore that has probably killed this franchise for good now and it's probably for the best. What a waste of a cast and concept. Cinema is dead.

3/10 Dans

Hellboy is out now in cinemas in the UK, with a 4K UHD Steelbook available to pre-order from Zavvi
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Triple Frontier (2019) - Netflix Review

Review:

*Originally written March 13th, 2019*

A rare Netflix Original Film that is actually damn great. I was intrigued by this due to the cast and crew involved. I remember very little about it, but I remember liking J.C. Chandor's A Most Violent Year. My only worry about this was the fact it was a Netflix Original. They obviously have a tendency to completely waste a talented filmmakers time by releasing what seems like a low-effort, straight to video release. Just look at Dan Gilroy, who went from the masterpiece Nightcrawler to the Netflix Original Velvet Buzzsaw. 

Thankfully, this wasn't the case, Triple Frontier is a gripping action thriller that slowly builds its character and plot to familiar places, but is no less engaging thanks to the strong performances from the cast, great action and compelling, no nonsense script. It's a pretty simple script, a group of ex-servicemen come together to rob a drug lord in South America for millions of dollars so they can all leave their dead-end lives behind. Things escalate and things don't go to plan as they have to fight their way out of the country with whatever money they can carry.

It's simple, but effective stuff, made better by the fact I have a huge soft-spot for heist films, but this goes above and beyond the solid, if messy, similarly budgeted heist films of recent years (Den of Thieves and Triple 9 come to mind). Thanks to J.C. Chandor's effective direction, every moment of the actually heist is a tense affair with some cold and brutal violence mixed in their too, plus some good morality plays from the characters were a welcome addition.

I did appreciate the time built towards building the characters before the actual heist takes place. Being an ensemble cast, some of the characters get sidelined a bit as the focus is mostly on Ben Affleck, Charlie Hunnam and Oscar Isaac.  All three do a fantastic job, Affleck in particular as the rugged and weary soldier trying to turn his life around as he slowly gets more greedy once he sees the stakes of what he's got himself into. Hunnam is someone who has never really managed to find much success outside of Sons of Anarchy, like most TV actors going into film, thankfully, this is by far his best film role I've seen to date from him. Then Isaac is still a massively charismatic presence that I was surprised to find out pretty much leads the film and carries the most screen-time. 

One of things rare and always welcome from a Netflix film is how much this actually looks like a real and cinematic film, unlike most of their other releases that look more in line with high budget TV than an actually film, mostly due to the gross, high-key lighting. Triple Frontier looks pretty gorgeous, making the most of its lush, South American setting. Watching this in 4K with Dolby Vision was a treat in itself, I wish Netflix would start releasing films physically, as I would happily own 4K copies of this, Beasts of No Nation, Apostle and Roma. 

As an action film, this also works extremely well. The set-pieces are cold, brutal and pack a hell of a punch. Nothing feels gratuitous or over the top. There's no moment of bombastic heroics or Rambo like actions, it's just brutal and when people die, it's with no fanfare or sentimentality, they just drop dead and it feels cold and realistic. It was obvious from the get-go that not everyone makes it out here alive, but even knowing that, it was still a surprise to see what characters actually don't make it.


Triple Frontier is one of Netflix's best original films to date. A gorgeous, brutal heist thriller with a great cast who all have their time to shine. Netflix films are actually starting to get better, for the most part.

8/10 Dans

Triple Frontier is streaming now on Netflix worldwide
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The Expendables 3 (2014) - 4K UHD Review

Review:

*Originally written March 10th, 2019*

For many, this entry in the Expendables franchise killed it, and to be honest, I can see why. It ditches what people loved about the series so far. The gimmick of these films are the nostalgia of throwback, violent action with the faded action heroes of the '80s and '90s. So it really is bizarre for them to release the third film in this series as a toned down, cleaner entry that sidelines the characters in favour of a younger cast of unknowns.

 Based on this, it's not hard to see why this was received so poorly and has left the franchise dormant for 5 years now (With on and off reports that The Expendables 4 is happening with an R rating again). Despite all the things they just got plain wrong, I still kinda had a good time with this. Sure, the blood, swearing and tone is mostly gone, but it's still head and shoulders above the awful original and it's hard for me to not just take this for what it is and just enjoy it.

The series continued to improve its villains with each entry and this was no different, Mel Gibson is an absolute, scenery chewing maniac here and it is wonderful to see. This came along after he disappeared for a while after his legal troubles and phone call leaks (You can listen to them of YouTube, essential stuff). It's just sorta nice to see him here having a good time and hamming it up, he's the perfect sort of addition to this series. Would love to see Danny Glover in a future entry. 

In terms of the new cast, they are mostly just brutal. A bunch of nobody actors I'd never heard of, aside from Ronda Rousey, who is just awful in everything she does. The whole MMA fighter turned actor thing rarely works, and this might be the best example of that. It's just disappointing what they do with the original Expendables, Terry Crews is quickly written out for most of the film and Jet Li is nowhere to be seen until the end, but he does at least get a surprising pairing with Arnie that is far funnier than it should be. Oh, and Harrison Ford pops up too, who seems to be having the most fun he's ever had on a film in decades. Remember when that guy used to have charisma before giving up? Which reminds me of Bruce Willis's curious absence from here and a few characters just mentioning he's a dick. What happened there?

The action does lose the violent impact of the first two and suffers from some terrible quick-cut editing in order to work around some of the more brutal kills. Why even keep Jason Statham's character as a knife specialist who stabs people brutally if you're just going to cut away? There is some cool stuff going on, the relentless wave based assault on Mel Gibson's compound at the end certainly held my attention for longer than I expected. I'm pretty sure I watched the uncut version too, which did very little to leave an impact on the violence.

Outside of a few choice action scenes, there really is very little here, but it is oddly quite fun, I can't quite put my finger on it. I should absolutely hate this, but I still enjoy it. I think I might even be oddly invested in these characters too, I hadn't seen this in about 4 years and I was strangely compelled and interested by Stallone's Barney Ross here dealing with a ghost of his past. Stallone does a merely okay job conveying emotion, but for what this is, it's fine. 

I was also pretty torn over this 4K release too. On one hand, the detail is extremely strong, pretty much reference quality consistently throughout, but the HDR is a complete mess, colours looked off and weird, blacks looked more like a dark grey than the usual deep and inky blacks I'm used too. It's just a shame, as the detail is so sharp, but someone really fucked up the colour grading of this release. 


The Expendables 3 is far from great, but it's the third in the series of B movies starring faded action stars and it lacks a bit of what made the second entry the best in the series, but it's still good fun and Mel Gibson is endlessly watchable as the villain. Hoping they sort out The Expendables 4 soon. It's been 5 years. I'm ready.

6/10 Dans

The Expendables 3 is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Cold Pursuit (2019) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written February 26th, 2019*

You kinda know what to expect when it comes to Liam Neeson action thrillers by this point. Aside from the Taken sequels, they are perfectly serviceable pieces of throwaway entertainment. I was very much expecting this to be more of the same, but instead, it is far more out there, weird and surprisingly different to his usual revenge films.

There are so many strokes of such weird broad comedy littered throughout. I mean, it can be a bit of a mess at times, I rarely knew when I was meant to just be laughing, taking it seriously or just meant to take in the gonzo randomness of it all. At the very least, there are some very strong moments of broad, strange humour that do land, I just wish it was a little more consistent for the most part.

Neeson is as reliable as he usually is, once again playing a man who is avenging the death of a family member. In this case, the family member being his son, who is found dead of a heroin overdose despite the fact he was never known to be a drug user, so see goes on a quest to figure out who did it. Even in his older age, Neeson is still a competent action star and they use his age to the films advantage, never getting him to do insane stunts or anything to unrealistic for a man his age. He does also display some nice touches towards the beginning as a man distraught of the loss of his young son, probably helped by his own loss of family in real life. 

While being an action film, there's never really any massive memorable set-piece for the most part, aside from one final shootout that barely even has Neeson in it. It's mostly a series of cold executions from Neeson, as he makes his way from target to target, gathering information and coldly killing anyone involved with his sons death. I was a little reminded of Taken, which I always appreciated for him just coldly murdering anyone who got in his way and the take no prisoners attitude.

As entertaining as this all was, there's a lot added subplots that really don't add up to much. The weirdest of which being Laura Dern as the wife of Neeson's character, who really just had no purpose in the film and is quickly written out of the film with a brief and pointless role. Then there is also the inclusion of two cops who you'd assume would be tailing Neeson's exploits, but the two stories barely come together and also just feel like needless padding. The removal of both of these could have easily given the film a much brisker run-time, not that 2 hours is completely unreasonable.

There is also a decent amount of the run-time dedicated to the villain, which is rare for a film like this. I honestly could not tell you anything about the bad guy in a previous Liam Neeson action film. Thankfully, Tom Bateman's "Viking" is a fun piece of eccentric villainy, a camp, pantomime performance filled with weird little ticks and characterisations that really steal the show.  

I was also unaware this was a remake of a Norwegian thriller "In Order of Disappearance", also directed by Hans Peter Moland. I'm not sure how this compares to the original, but I am very interested to check it out at some point. In all honesty, I am shocked this wasn't another collaboration between Liam Neeson and Jean Collet-Serra. They do so many action films together, that I just expect every new Liam Neeson thriller is directed by him.

So I guess that's why I was so surprised by the weird and unusual tone for such a film, but for all of the films tonal messes, Moland has directed a genuinely great looking film, making use of its gorgeous snowy town in a fictional town in Norway. Thinking about it, this might actually be Neeson's best film since The Grey. It's not quite up to the level of that masterpiece, but I think with rewatches, this could grow on me as I adjust to the weirdness and tonal awkwardness.


Cold Pursuit might not be what you would expect from a typical Liam Neeson thriller, but is all the more better for it. Neeson is reliable, the action is cold and brutal, and it's surprisingly out there and weird. It's a shame it's done so poorly, as it's one of Neeson's best in years.

7/10 Dans

Cold Pursuit is out now in cinemas in the UK, with a 4K UHD Steelbook available to pre-order from Zavvi

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Destroyer (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written February 21st, 2019*

Well, looks like I'm in for another year where my favourite films of the year don't play anywhere near me in theatres. Meaning I either need to wait for a watchable torrent or a Blu-ray/4K release down the line. This is the state of cinema in the UK outside of huge cities at the moment. Unless it's Star Wars, Marvel or award contending Oscar-bait, I do not get to see the film at the cinema. Leaving me to wonder why I even bother any more.

Destroyer is already one of those, and it's only February (It was released here in January, but like I said, showed nowhere near me. Despite being heavily advertised at the Guildford Odeon. Honestly, the month leading up to its release, any film rated 12A or above showed the trailer for this. Then its release date came and nothing). 

I'm amazed how overlooked this has been this awards season. Nicole Kidman is absolutely on fire here, in her most volatile, heartbreaking and ferocious turn I've ever seen from her. There's obvious comparisons to Charlize Theron in Monster, where they "Ugly" themselves up to look barely recognisable. It works here incredibly well, making for not just the best performance of Kidman's career, but one of the best of 2018. It is a travesty this was overlooked at this years Oscar's in favour of more baitey performances. 

Outside of Kidman's performance, this is still an incredibly effective and uncomfortable corrupt police thriller that spans multiple time periods. Karyn Kusama balances everything with such care, delivering some powerful storytelling with bleak and brutal violence, leading to a surprisingly poignant ending (Although I'm not sure about that final shot).

I was instantly reminded of some of Taylor Sheridan's works throughout. Being a coldly told and bleak story featuring gorgeous cinematography and bursts of harsh violence. I'm amazed this came from the director of films like Jennifer's Body and the atrocious Aeon Flux, it's rare that a director can move on from films like that to create something far more meaningful and worth watching. I'm very impressed and once again she's shockingly overlooked along with several other female director's who failed to be nominated at this years Oscars.

We've seen corrupt police dramas told many times before, perhaps peaking in FX's series 'The Shield", but I really have a soft spot for films about these broken people who use their abuse of power in order to earn some kind of redemption down the line. While Kidman's Erin Bell is definitely not one of the most evil of corrupt cops we've seen in media, she is definitely one of the more interesting. Her handling of guilt after the events decades before the film begins which we learn through flashbacks throughout makes for some genuinely compelling viewing, leading to how she ends up the way she is.

Then there's the lengths she'll go to cover up her crimes and how that effects the relationships with the people around her. The relationship with her daughter is a little cliched, but Kidman's sincere performance certainly makes something we've seen before work, especially with help of the excellent script. 


I'm really surprised this was completely slept on. I know I have a soft spot for these sorts of films, but it really is something special that really deserves seeking out. Kidman's performances carries a film that is excellent in all other aspects of its own right. A tight, compelling, beautifully shot piece of harrowing police drama that will most certainly be in my top 10 of 2019. 

10/10 Dans

Destroyer is out May 27th, 2019 on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Hitman: Agent 47 (2015) - 4K UHD Review

Review:

*Originally written February 10th, 2019*

Wow, I'd not planned on revisiting this since its release in 2015, but thanks to my compulsive problem of buying whatever film comes my way and out of morbid curiosity to rewatch it, I ended up buying this on 4K against my better judgement, and to no surprise, it is just awful.

How do they keep getting the Hitman license so wrong? I'm not sure if this is a sequel to the 2007 Timothy Olyphant film at all, or just a straight up reboot? Not that it matters, as the actors are changed and I cannot think of a single reference to the previous film. I spent a lot of this just wishing I was just watching the 2007 film again. That film wasn't great, but compared to this, it seems like a damn masterpiece.

Everything going on here is just not what the Hitman games are about. The games are a series of missions where you have to creatively use your environments to take out your targets as stealthily as possible with a loosely connected narrative sending you to the next mission. There is not a single hit of this in Agent 47. It's a mindless display of awful CGI action, that is poorly shot and lacks any sort of impact. 

Every single bit of action is completely overblown, ugly and utterly stupid. People want to see Agent 47 carefully planning a mission and executing it flawlessly, not getting into gunfights in the middle of streets and purposely getting himself arrested, giving his name to the police and getting caught on camera. It's like the makers of this film have never even played the games.

God knows what they were thinking bringing back Skip Woods to write this mess. A man I'm convinced doesn't exist and is just a pseudonym used by studios to attach a name to a script that a 12 year old submitted. Honestly, look at this "Man's" history of films. A Good Day to Die Hard, Hitman, X-Men: Origins and Sabotage. Oof, this guy is just awful and I don't know who he is blowing to keep getting work in Hollywood.

The story here is just nonsense. Like I said, the Hitman games are rarely known for their stories, but at least they keep it simple and straight-forward. This is just an insane level of clones, cyborgs and conspiracy that I was pretty checked out by towards the end. I did laugh at just how bat-shit insane some of this crap got, but it's also so barbarically stupid and annoying. 

The only bright spot here is Rupert Friend, who does a commendable job as Agent 47, but everything they do with his character is just wrong. I've always felt to do a Hitman film they should have Agent 47 as the antagonist, a Terminator like figure throughout the film, rather than the clear-cut good guy they make him out to be here. Which is another problem translating the character to film. He's just not an interesting lead, he's a cold, calculated killer that doesn't say much, making for a very uninteresting lead. 


I know this franchise is being rebooted as a streaming platform show, which hopefully work a hell of a lot better than these awful films that are only good for a cheap laugh. When will we ever get truly great video-game movies? The nicest thing I can say about this is it least has an excellent 4K release, this should be expected from a film this glossy and new. And part of me sickly wants the 2007 film to get a 4K release at some point too....

3/10 Dans

Hitman: Agent 47 is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Upgrade (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written January 10th, 2019*

I wanted to like Upgrade more than I did, it was one on my radar for the past year that seemed right up my street. An ultra-violent, low-budget sci-fi film that riffed on things I know and love, and I while I enjoyed Upgrade to an extent, it's a bit of mixed bag.

Who on Earth is Logan Marshal-Green? And how does he look so much like Tom Hardy, but with none of the acting talent? It was actually quite distressing seeing this so soon after Venom, as the similarities are astonishing. Both are sci-fi action films about Tom Hardy (or his doppelganger) dealing with an extra presence attached to his body that also talks and sometimes controls him. 

I was actually pleasantly surprised by some of the aspects that I didn't know about going in. I had no idea about Green's robot implant actually having a personality of his own, I just thought this was a straight up action film about a guy who's wife is murdered, gets paralysed in the event and is given cybernetic upgrades to walk again and take revenge. 

It turned out to be a little more than that and the trailers also didn't give away how much of a black comedy this was too. It's surprisingly funny in the same way Venom was as Green's interactions with his robot implant "STEM" have some decent chemistry and lead to some fun lines about robots callous nature of being able to take a life. 

What surprised me most was that this was from Leigh Whannell, who's only previous film was the third film in the Insidious series, which I remember being fine, but this certainly shows more vision and promise than his previous film. His kinetic direction of the action scenes was surprisingly unique and interesting, especially the way the camera goes in motion with action on screen. It definitely had style and some of the gore is top notch and it's always a treat to see more practical steps used in creating some of the more disgusting moments.

The whole mystery of Green trying to find who murdered his wife is something we've seen many times before and was easily the most uninteresting aspect of the story, so it was a nice surprise to see the story actually go in weird places I didn't see coming, making way for a massively effective twist that I'd really like to see explored in a possible sequel.

While I appreciate there is definitely a great indie sci-fi film in here, it is let down by some less than great performances, including the lead, who really is just a stilted and uncharismatic Tom Hardy with weird and stilted delivery. I can't compare this to any of his previous performances, as the other things I've seen with him in it, I honestly have no memory of him being in it. 


For the most part though, Upgrade is definitely worth checking out and one that may go up on rewatches. It's a violent and fun ride with some really cool ideas that really makes great use of its low budget. I just hope it did well enough to justify a sequel. I'd just like to say fuck you to Universal for only going with a DVD release in the UK and no Blu-ray. Seriously, fuck you. 


6/10 Dans

Upgrade is out now on DVD in the UK
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Pacific Rim (2013) - 4K UHD Review

Review:

*Originally written January 10th, 2019*

I'd been meaning to revisit Pacific Rim for a while now, after the absolute train-wreck that is Pacific Rim: Uprising, I stupidly thought that "Maybe the original Pacific Rim is just a piece of shit too". Boy, how wrong I was, it's far from perfect, but Guillermo Del Toro's love letter to monster cinema is a big, dumb and fun piece of action. 

I don't enjoy it as much as most people, but there is so much to enjoy here. Del Toro delivers such wonderful and vibrant set-pieces (This is an absolute treat to watch on 4K, those neon colours really pop with HDR). It has a beautiful and cinematic look that is lost in the televisual sequel. There's such care and fluidity to make every single action scene memorable and exciting, it was such a lovely refresher on how great summer blockbusters can be both dumb, but extremely fun which seems rare these days and with 2018 just gone, it was a pretty painful year for blockbuster films aside from a select few.

The Jaiger and monster designs are all awesome and have their own unique feel. The neon blue blood of the creatures are a sight to behold, making the gore more entertaining and gorgeous to look at. I hate to bring up the sequel again, but the size and weight of these giant robots are completely lost there, in the original they feel huge and have weight to them and they are goddamn majestic to look at.

I just wish the script and story were as strong as the visuals and action. Charlie Hunnam is pretty bland as the lead (like he usually is), but he's serviceable for the most part and manages to carry the film. The side characters bring far more interest and charisma. Ron Perlman is just a delight in his short role and Charlie Day is pretty much playing Charlie Kelly from It's Always Sunny, but it's welcome. 

Idris Elba surprisingly steals the show here as the charismatic leader of the Jaiger pilots and his "Cancelling the apocalypse" speech is actually pretty awesome and I forgot how memorable it was. I'd honestly have preferred it if Elba had taken the lead role over Hunham, he certainly has far more charisma. Not as much as Jon Hamm, but damn he has charisma.


I'm definitely glad I revisited Pacific Rim despite it's flaws and got see see it in glorious 4K. I just wish they'd either waited for Del Toro to finish Shape of Water so he could have returned to direct 2, or just not made it at all. Either way, this still holds up as wonderfully entertaining and beautiful shot monster vs robot action. God bless cinema. 

8/10 Dans

Pacific Rim is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Top 10 Films of 2018

2018 has been an interesting year for films to say the least, from the increasingly political angry and relevant films, to actors careers being ruined due to previous allegations and scandals in a now toxic Hollywood. There's been good and bad films (Some very bad), Netflix has even made more good films than they usually do this year, which is a far cry from the barrage of garbage they gave us in 2017. This is also the year I got a new TV and started watching things in 4K, which has definitely been a huge improvement on my film watching. 2018 has also been the year I've seen the most new releases in quite some time, but also the least amount of films I've seen overall in the space of a year due to work and a variety of different things, but hey ho, here's my top 10 films I've seen from 2018. (All based on UK release dates)

Still to see: Mary Poppins Returns, Bumblebee, Bird Box, Upgrade, Eighth Grade Journeyman, Whitney.

Honourable mentions: Ladybird, Hereditary, Thoroughbreds, Widows, BlacKkKlansman, Annihilation, A Quiet Place, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Sorry to Bother You, Mandy. 

10. Halloween

2018's Halloween had a lot of hard work to do, it had years of terrible sequels to undo and create a worthy sequel to John Carpenter's original and iconic slasher masterpiece, but they pulled it off masterfully, delivering one of best slashers I've seen in quite some time. It's dark, brutal and they've made Michael Myers scary again, and it was written by Danny McBride of all people. 

9. First Reformed

I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from Paul Schrader's First Reformed, I'd heard a lot of buzz, but I didn't even see a trailer before going in. What I got was an extremely tense and unsettling drama about faith that goes to some insane places while Ethan Hawke delivers possibly the best performance of his career. This is one I'll definitely be revisiting to get more out of.

8. The Shape of Water

There's a lot of expectations going into a film after it wins the best picture Oscar, which is unfair. Thankfully, I watched it before I even knew it had Oscar chances and I absolutely adored it. A gorgeous and sweet fantasy romance filled with quirky touches and a beautiful message about acceptance. An Oscar deserved.

7. Phantom Thread

On paper Phantom Thread really isn't my bad, a period romance about a dressmaker? Thankfully Paul Thomas Anderson's masterpiece is something I really should have had more faith in, it's a deeply twisted, hilarious and surprising drama with an expectedly amazing performance from Daniel Day Lewis. 

6. The House That Jack Built

Lars Von Trier is a director who's never really clicked with me until The House That Jack Built, I find a lot of his films I've seen to just be try hard, edgy and pretentious nonsense that's there to push boundaries and not a lot more. Yes, The House That Jack Built is edgy and boundary pushing, but it just clicked with me. Despite how horrific the acts of violence are (I still need to see the uncut version) towards women and children, this is still one of the funniest films of the year and it's 2 and a half hour run-time flew by. Plus it's final shot is one of the best of year. Fame.

5. Leave No Trace

Leave No Trace is a film that came out of nowhere for me and it's a shame more people aren't talking about it, because it's easily the most depressing, powerful and heartbreaking indie films of year. A beautifully shot tale about a soldier with PTSD and his daughter adjusting to the real life after living in the woods, it subverts expectations and makes for insanely effective viewing. Ben Foster and Thomasin McKenzie should both be talked about for Oscar season.

4. Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri 

A morally complex black comedy about one woman's struggle with the justice system after the police fail to find the person who raped and killed her daughter. It took me a couple of watches to truly love Three Billboards, but I am fully on board with it now, compelling and powerful with an insane cast lead by an outstanding Frances McDormand. Coen Brothers vibes throughout are also very welcome.

3. Mission: Impossible - Fallout 

No one, including myself had any idea that the sixth film in the Mission: Impossible franchise would be anywhere close to the top of this list, but they once again pulled it off to deliver not just the best action film of the year, but one of the best action films ever made. Every single set-piece feels like something a film would save for it's finale, but Fallout just tops it every few scenes and even gets deeper into Cruise's Ethan Hunt than we've ever done before. Tom Cruise nearly dies for our entertainment on a regular basis and it continues to be worth it. The main is a saint.

2. You Were Never Really Here

Lynne Ramsay's You Were Never Really Here is Taxi Driver for a new generation. A brutal, unforgettable ride of the art-house genre. In another universe this is a grind-house action film with Joaquin Phoenix as a hammer wielding paedophile hunter, but what we got is far more meaningful, beautiful and just harrowing to watch. Art-house cinema rarely gets better than this.

1. A Star is Born

I know, I didn't expect this either. My film of the year is a music drama starring Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper, but it works far better than it had any right to. A human and deeply depressing story about a fading musician meeting an up and comer while her career begins to shadow his as he struggles with alcohol addiction. Cooper and Gaga both give powerful performances while Cooper also delivers a beautiful shot film with a ton of energy and sadness. Pure cinema. I can't wait to see what Cooper directs next.

So that's it, my top 10 films of 2018 locked in forever. I won't be doing a bottom 10 list this year, but I will be doing my 10 most anticipated of 2019. here's to another year of films. God bless.

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The Equalizer (2014) - 4K UHD Review

Review:

*Originally written December 12th, 2018*

After seeing The Equalizer 2 I was worried that it might impact my opinion of the original Equalizer, a film I'd always quite liked, despite it's problems. After stupidly buying the 4K steelbook for the second film, I realised I had yet to own this on 4K, so here we are. I was pretty pleased to discover that despite it's problems, The Equalizer is still very solid, violent and stylish action film in its own right.

Antoine Fuqua is a director that gets a lot of flack in my opinion. It's true his career peaked over a decade ago with the excellent Training Day, but ever since then he's released a series of solid action films that arguably take themselves far too seriously, but they're all great fun for the most part. In fact the only film I've never liked of his is Brooklyn's Finest, but I'm far due a rewatch on that. 

Anyone, The Equalizer is the Hollywood reboot of some '80s TV show I've never watched. It's Denzel Washington as an ex-special ops, OCD, lonely and highly capable man who gets involved in taking down the Russian mob after he avenges the brutal beating of a teenage prostitute. It's basic, surface level stuff that really doesn't earn its bloated run-time.

The biggest problems here are its length and over-seriousness of what an absurd, cliched plot this is. Denzel's Robert McCall is well developed and we learn just enough about him through visual cues and the way he acts, but sometimes the dialogue just tries so hard to sound meaningful, but can just come off as a little pretentious. It's a dumb action film that desperately doesn't what to be one. Which is actually most of Antoine Fuqua's career thinking about it.

Denzel does manage to make this work though. He plays bad-ass pretty effortlessly, much like he has through his entire career and he has enough to work with to make McCall feel like a real human being despite the moments of highly stylised action. I kinda just wish the script was a little tighter and more focused and decided whether it wanted to be a dumb action film or a character piece, but instead we get a messy mix of both. 

I think that's where the tone clashes the most is within the action scenes. This wants to be a real human drama about a man sticking up for the people who can't defend themselves, but then descends into becoming a borderline superhero film when McCall's Sherlock Holmes like powers come into play. Part of me really likes the brief moments of McCall's ridiculous powers, but then I sort of hate them for blatantly ripping of the Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes thing he does much better.

 When it's not ripping off Ritchie's style, Fuqua really brings some insane brutality to the action. I forgot how nasty some of this film was and it was nice to it finally uncut in the UK in the now 18 rated 4K (Which is a great transfer too. With a film this dark, the HDR really helped make the night scenes more detailed and easier to make it while retained a gorgeous dark look). 

It's also refreshing to see an action film that takes a more creative approach to its violence. The finale in the home depot store is glorious and turns McCall into a slasher film villain as he brutally wipes out a squad of mercenaries using DIY equipment and setting up a series of demented, Home Alone style traps. We also get to see the biggest douchebag in the world Dan Bilzerian get lynched by barbed wire while we slowly watch him bleed and get choked out. Beautiful.


It's a slow burn to get to the action scenes for the most part, but it's definitely worth it for the most part. I just feel there's an excellent film here if it was just a bit more focused and cut down by a good 20 minutes or so. For better or worse it's another solid action film from Antoine Fuqua and seeing Denzel slaughter faceless Russians in increasingly brutal ways is always fun to watch. I just wish the sequel was as entertaining as this one.

7/10 Dans

The Equalizer is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Mortal Engines (2018) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written December 10th, 2018*

For better or worse, Mortal Engines is both better than I expected and exactly what I expected it to be. If that makes sense? It's just another overblown, over-budget entry in the quickly dying young-adult genre that is clearly made to start a franchise, but it's just not gonna happen. I guess what's most disappointing is that this is from Peter Jackson to an extent, a man who has crafted one of the best and most creative trilogies of all-time and is now seem to hit a point of CGI heavy and soulless blockbusters. Which is a great shame.

This certainly had its potential. I'd never read the books, but the idea of a post-apocalyptic steampunk world where giant cities devour each other in a wasteland has certain shades of Mad Max to it, so I was interested. Sadly, it rarely lives up to its original premise, the world-building and ins and outs of this concept are rarely explored in favour of a bland "Chosen one" YA story that we've seen countless times. There was so much potential to explore here and they just wasted it.

That's not to say the film doesn't look great, they definitely made the most of that risky $100 million budget. The world is impressive, ugly and some of the action has its moments, but it really lacking in any sort of creative punch. I did love the look of the movies cities, especially the giant main one, There's nothing visually horrible by any means, it all just feels competent, but completely flavourless. 

What really didn't help is how dull and uninteresting the characters are. Hera Hilmar isn't an actress I'd ever heard of before this, but it's hard to tell if she's a good actress when the character she's playing is this boring. She's just another Chosen One in a dystopian future as she tries to avenge the murder of her mother. The closest thing to interesting was the relationship between her and Stephen Lang's Shrike, an undead soldier who takes in Hilmar and raises her after the death of her mother. 

I must say I was actually surprised by how freaky and unsettling that look of Shrike was, the design clearly has shades of the White Walkers from Game of Thrones, but with a clockwork, steampunk aesthetic that reminded of the Dishonoured series. In fact, quite a lot here reminded me of Dishonoured, given this is also a steampunk portrayal of London. 

I also don't know what Hugo Weaving was doing here. He's doing a villain we've seen countless of times before, a power-hungry bad guy with connections to the lead character (With a mind blowingly obvious twist). I was reminded far too much of Christoph Waltz and Ben Mendelsohn's recent villain performances that are just extremely by the numbers and forgettable.

There's also just really weird humour shoved in here. Somehow they manage to shove in a visual gag to Minions (I shit you not), it was just pretty brutal and unfunny. The only genuine laughs I got out of this were at some of the insanely poor and on the nose dialogue that comes out the script. It did this annoying thing where the characters spell something out for you and you understand what they're talking about or feeling, then they felt the need to just blatantly say it rather than let the actors portray it, it got a little frustrating.

Then I laughed out loud at some of the character deaths towards the end where they do that thing that I just love. You know when a character they have barely given us enough to work with to care about them, but then to proceed to kill them off like it's a huge deal and we should care? Brace yourself for that....



Mortal Engines is another failed YA adaptation that will fail to kick-start a franchise and will most likely just go down in history as one of the biggest box-office bombs of recent years. It's a shame too, as there is a really interesting world here of giant cities eating each other, but it's just so wasted with a bland story we've seen countless times before.

5/10 Dans

Mortal Engines is out now in cinemas in the UK
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