Destroyer (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written February 21st, 2019*

Well, looks like I'm in for another year where my favourite films of the year don't play anywhere near me in theatres. Meaning I either need to wait for a watchable torrent or a Blu-ray/4K release down the line. This is the state of cinema in the UK outside of huge cities at the moment. Unless it's Star Wars, Marvel or award contending Oscar-bait, I do not get to see the film at the cinema. Leaving me to wonder why I even bother any more.

Destroyer is already one of those, and it's only February (It was released here in January, but like I said, showed nowhere near me. Despite being heavily advertised at the Guildford Odeon. Honestly, the month leading up to its release, any film rated 12A or above showed the trailer for this. Then its release date came and nothing). 

I'm amazed how overlooked this has been this awards season. Nicole Kidman is absolutely on fire here, in her most volatile, heartbreaking and ferocious turn I've ever seen from her. There's obvious comparisons to Charlize Theron in Monster, where they "Ugly" themselves up to look barely recognisable. It works here incredibly well, making for not just the best performance of Kidman's career, but one of the best of 2018. It is a travesty this was overlooked at this years Oscar's in favour of more baitey performances. 

Outside of Kidman's performance, this is still an incredibly effective and uncomfortable corrupt police thriller that spans multiple time periods. Karyn Kusama balances everything with such care, delivering some powerful storytelling with bleak and brutal violence, leading to a surprisingly poignant ending (Although I'm not sure about that final shot).

I was instantly reminded of some of Taylor Sheridan's works throughout. Being a coldly told and bleak story featuring gorgeous cinematography and bursts of harsh violence. I'm amazed this came from the director of films like Jennifer's Body and the atrocious Aeon Flux, it's rare that a director can move on from films like that to create something far more meaningful and worth watching. I'm very impressed and once again she's shockingly overlooked along with several other female director's who failed to be nominated at this years Oscars.

We've seen corrupt police dramas told many times before, perhaps peaking in FX's series 'The Shield", but I really have a soft spot for films about these broken people who use their abuse of power in order to earn some kind of redemption down the line. While Kidman's Erin Bell is definitely not one of the most evil of corrupt cops we've seen in media, she is definitely one of the more interesting. Her handling of guilt after the events decades before the film begins which we learn through flashbacks throughout makes for some genuinely compelling viewing, leading to how she ends up the way she is.

Then there's the lengths she'll go to cover up her crimes and how that effects the relationships with the people around her. The relationship with her daughter is a little cliched, but Kidman's sincere performance certainly makes something we've seen before work, especially with help of the excellent script. 


I'm really surprised this was completely slept on. I know I have a soft spot for these sorts of films, but it really is something special that really deserves seeking out. Kidman's performances carries a film that is excellent in all other aspects of its own right. A tight, compelling, beautifully shot piece of harrowing police drama that will most certainly be in my top 10 of 2019. 

10/10 Dans

Destroyer is out May 27th, 2019 on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Upgrade (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written January 10th, 2019*

I wanted to like Upgrade more than I did, it was one on my radar for the past year that seemed right up my street. An ultra-violent, low-budget sci-fi film that riffed on things I know and love, and I while I enjoyed Upgrade to an extent, it's a bit of mixed bag.

Who on Earth is Logan Marshal-Green? And how does he look so much like Tom Hardy, but with none of the acting talent? It was actually quite distressing seeing this so soon after Venom, as the similarities are astonishing. Both are sci-fi action films about Tom Hardy (or his doppelganger) dealing with an extra presence attached to his body that also talks and sometimes controls him. 

I was actually pleasantly surprised by some of the aspects that I didn't know about going in. I had no idea about Green's robot implant actually having a personality of his own, I just thought this was a straight up action film about a guy who's wife is murdered, gets paralysed in the event and is given cybernetic upgrades to walk again and take revenge. 

It turned out to be a little more than that and the trailers also didn't give away how much of a black comedy this was too. It's surprisingly funny in the same way Venom was as Green's interactions with his robot implant "STEM" have some decent chemistry and lead to some fun lines about robots callous nature of being able to take a life. 

What surprised me most was that this was from Leigh Whannell, who's only previous film was the third film in the Insidious series, which I remember being fine, but this certainly shows more vision and promise than his previous film. His kinetic direction of the action scenes was surprisingly unique and interesting, especially the way the camera goes in motion with action on screen. It definitely had style and some of the gore is top notch and it's always a treat to see more practical steps used in creating some of the more disgusting moments.

The whole mystery of Green trying to find who murdered his wife is something we've seen many times before and was easily the most uninteresting aspect of the story, so it was a nice surprise to see the story actually go in weird places I didn't see coming, making way for a massively effective twist that I'd really like to see explored in a possible sequel.

While I appreciate there is definitely a great indie sci-fi film in here, it is let down by some less than great performances, including the lead, who really is just a stilted and uncharismatic Tom Hardy with weird and stilted delivery. I can't compare this to any of his previous performances, as the other things I've seen with him in it, I honestly have no memory of him being in it. 


For the most part though, Upgrade is definitely worth checking out and one that may go up on rewatches. It's a violent and fun ride with some really cool ideas that really makes great use of its low budget. I just hope it did well enough to justify a sequel. I'd just like to say fuck you to Universal for only going with a DVD release in the UK and no Blu-ray. Seriously, fuck you. 


6/10 Dans

Upgrade is out now on DVD in the UK
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Holmes and Watson (2018) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written January 1st, 2019*

Holmes and Watson is everything I expected from the trailers, it's 90 minutes of brainless, lazy jokes and crude attempts at humour. A film so pathetic and lazy that it's managed to make the headlines because of the amount of walkouts the film had seen over its opening weekend. It really is that bad.

The idea of making a spoof of Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes films feels outdated considering those films were a decade ago. Will Ferrell and John C Reilly are two actors I really like when they have a good creative team behind them. I wasn't a huge fan of Step Brothers, but this makes Step Brothers and Talladega Nights seem like masterful pieces of comedy genius in comparison.

There's just so little to talk about here, it's more interesting to talk about the news surrounding the film. Like the fact even Netflix turned this down after terrible test screenings. Netflix turned this down, the same company that release dozens of lazy and awful films every few months. Even they wouldn't touch this. 

Part of me does have a soft spot for really dumb comedies. I grew up watching the Ali G movie a lot and even the Daddy's Home films I adore, and if you want some insane genius, then John C Reilly's music biopic spoof Walk Hard is a work of art. But everything in this proved to be too much for me, aside from one moment in the opening of scene of Holmes tending a giant marrow he's growing and referring to it as a "Dirty bitch", I didn't laugh once, although the Victorian era equivalent of drunk texting was an fun idea, it was just executed horribly. 

Then there's the horrifically lame jokes aiming at Trump and contemporary issues brought up in a Victorian setting. It's brutal, there's selfie sticks, cringey hip-hop music and awfully on the nose visual gangs like Holmes wearing a red hat that says "Make England great again". Fuck my life.

What's most shocking about this mess is how it managed to attract this many talented cast members. It's a disaster almost on the scale of Movie 43. outside of Ferrell and Reilly we have Kelly McDonald, Ralph Fiennes, Rebecca Hall, Steve Coogan and Hugh Laurie. Was this just an easy paycheck for them, or did they actually think what they were in was funny? Based on their careers, I can only fathom they were in it for the cash grab.

Holmes and Watson is truly awful. One of the worst films of the year, a lazy and cynical attempt at comedy that isn't even worthy of being a Netflix original. Pathetic. 

2/10 Dans

Holmes and Watson is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Bumblebee (2018) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written January 1st, 2019*

After ruining the franchise with 5 increasingly bombastic, racist and just downright horrible films, I doubt there was much audience faith left the Transformers franchise thanks to Michael Bay's "Contributions" to cinema. Thankfully, Bay's awful touch is nowhere to be seen in this sweet, touching and incredibly fun prequel film focusing on the mute yellow Transformer Bumblebee.

I was excited for this due to Travis Knight directing (I loved Kubo and the Two Strings), he'd never done a live-action film before, but he proved his delicate touch worked to make a genuinely sweet and focused Transformers film that is far better than anything that's come before it and stands with some of the best blockbusters of the year.

Hailee Steinfeld is a complete joy and is far more watchable than the annoying Shia LeBeouf and the weirdly racist Mark Wahlberg in the previous films. Her character is arc is simple and it works, and she is so likeable as a lead. Being set in the '80s gives way to a wonderful John Hughes tone and homages to his films, plus a killer soundtrack. 

The action is far more scaled-back and easier to follow, it's much smaller than the city destroying bombast of the Bay films, which in all honesty, makes me care more. It's still giant robots punching each other, but it's done with much more energy and emotional weight than the previous films, making us actually care.

At its core, it's a little similar to the first Transformers film, it's someone finding out their new car is a Transformer and having to deal with that while hiding it from the government searching for it. The difference here is, we actually spend a lot of time with Bumblebee and Steinfeld bonding, she shows him music of their era and gets him to watch Breakfast Club on VHS. It's wonderful and genuinely funny at times, thanks to their dynamic. And it's just so refreshing to watch one of these films without Bay's weird racism and perversion, which had no place in this franchise considering they are kids films after all.

It's helps being a full 40 minutes shorter than the last few films too and the Transformers themselves having their original designs and not those weird and creepy robotic lips which are just off-putting. Bumblebee flies by in no time and it's the first film in this series where I actually wanted more when it ended. The Transformers franchise is actually worth watching again, all it took was getting a new director and getting rid of every awful decision Michael Bay added.


I'm really hoping Bumblebee does well, because this new start for the franchise is far more worthy of 4 sequels than the previous ones are. I just hope we get Travis Knight and Hailee Steinfeld back for future films, because I actually give a shit about these things for the first time since I was about 11. A fun, fast and sweet ride, Bumblebee is one of the biggest surprises of 2018.

8/10 Dans

Bumblebee is out now in cinemas in the UK, with a 4K UHD steelbook available to pre-order from HMV

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Mary Poppins Returns (2018) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written January 1st, 2019*

The way Disney is, I'm amazed this isn't the 20th Mary Poppins at this point, which at least a dozen of them being the straight to video sequels I've never watched. Anyway, I'd only seen the original Mary Poppins less than a few weeks ago in prep for this, and I absolutely loved it. Pure joy in film form full of energy and memorable songs. 

This belated sequel nowhere near hits the heights of the first, but it's still a pretty joyous adventure. I'll admit I went into this on very little slip and was nearly nodding off a couple of times throughout, but for the most part, I still enjoyed it quite a bit. It just really lacks most of the charm and magic of the first.

Emily Blunt does a fantastic job as the magical nanny. Bringing her own take one the character without just trying to do a Julie Andrews impression. She's the same sarcastic and charming character and every moment she's on screen is pure joy. It's just a shame that every time the film veers away from her to focus on other things, it loses a lot of momentum.

As much as I like Ben Whishaw and Emily Mortimer as the Bank's children grown up, they're stories really don't carry film, making their scenes without Mary Poppins just drag the film out, and there felt like a lot of scenes without the titular character there. The new generation of Banks children do a decent enough job, they're some of the better child actors I've seen recently, but they just don't live up to the originals.

Returns shines most when the more fantastical elements get involved. An extended scene involving 2D animation is absolutely beautiful and reminded me of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. It's so rare to see 2D animation mixed with live-action these days, but it looked amazing and vibrant. I can't wait to see how this will look on 4K. As a musical, it has a series of energetic numbers that in all honesty are quite forgettable. I'm really having a hard time remembering a single song from this, and I only saw it a couple of days ago.

It doesn't help that Rob Marshall's direction is mostly very flat and drab, but I'm think that might have been so that the fantasy scenes popped out more, but those only account for about a quarter of the film, leaving most of the film feel a little flat and lifeless when we're stuck in the real world. I could have done with a bit of trimming too, this whole thing goes on for a bit too long. Things like Meryl Streep's weird cameo and extended section could have been cut out without changing anything. 

On the villain side of things, Colin Firth is remarkably disappointing and just sort of there as a bank manager trying to posses the Banks house and his motivation is purely evil for the sake of being evil. It's a shame, because Firth is an actor I always like, so it sucks to see him given so little to work with. Hell, at least it was better than Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again, so at least he's ended his year on a higher note. 


Mary Poppins Returns isn't as good as I hoped it would be. It's overlong and lacks memorable songs, but Emily Blunt's charming performance carries the film and it still makes for very watchable entertainment. It just could have done with a better director and a bit of trimming. 


7/10 Dans

Mary Poppins Returns is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Top 10 Films of 2018

2018 has been an interesting year for films to say the least, from the increasingly political angry and relevant films, to actors careers being ruined due to previous allegations and scandals in a now toxic Hollywood. There's been good and bad films (Some very bad), Netflix has even made more good films than they usually do this year, which is a far cry from the barrage of garbage they gave us in 2017. This is also the year I got a new TV and started watching things in 4K, which has definitely been a huge improvement on my film watching. 2018 has also been the year I've seen the most new releases in quite some time, but also the least amount of films I've seen overall in the space of a year due to work and a variety of different things, but hey ho, here's my top 10 films I've seen from 2018. (All based on UK release dates)

Still to see: Mary Poppins Returns, Bumblebee, Bird Box, Upgrade, Eighth Grade Journeyman, Whitney.

Honourable mentions: Ladybird, Hereditary, Thoroughbreds, Widows, BlacKkKlansman, Annihilation, A Quiet Place, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Sorry to Bother You, Mandy. 

10. Halloween

2018's Halloween had a lot of hard work to do, it had years of terrible sequels to undo and create a worthy sequel to John Carpenter's original and iconic slasher masterpiece, but they pulled it off masterfully, delivering one of best slashers I've seen in quite some time. It's dark, brutal and they've made Michael Myers scary again, and it was written by Danny McBride of all people. 

9. First Reformed

I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from Paul Schrader's First Reformed, I'd heard a lot of buzz, but I didn't even see a trailer before going in. What I got was an extremely tense and unsettling drama about faith that goes to some insane places while Ethan Hawke delivers possibly the best performance of his career. This is one I'll definitely be revisiting to get more out of.

8. The Shape of Water

There's a lot of expectations going into a film after it wins the best picture Oscar, which is unfair. Thankfully, I watched it before I even knew it had Oscar chances and I absolutely adored it. A gorgeous and sweet fantasy romance filled with quirky touches and a beautiful message about acceptance. An Oscar deserved.

7. Phantom Thread

On paper Phantom Thread really isn't my bad, a period romance about a dressmaker? Thankfully Paul Thomas Anderson's masterpiece is something I really should have had more faith in, it's a deeply twisted, hilarious and surprising drama with an expectedly amazing performance from Daniel Day Lewis. 

6. The House That Jack Built

Lars Von Trier is a director who's never really clicked with me until The House That Jack Built, I find a lot of his films I've seen to just be try hard, edgy and pretentious nonsense that's there to push boundaries and not a lot more. Yes, The House That Jack Built is edgy and boundary pushing, but it just clicked with me. Despite how horrific the acts of violence are (I still need to see the uncut version) towards women and children, this is still one of the funniest films of the year and it's 2 and a half hour run-time flew by. Plus it's final shot is one of the best of year. Fame.

5. Leave No Trace

Leave No Trace is a film that came out of nowhere for me and it's a shame more people aren't talking about it, because it's easily the most depressing, powerful and heartbreaking indie films of year. A beautifully shot tale about a soldier with PTSD and his daughter adjusting to the real life after living in the woods, it subverts expectations and makes for insanely effective viewing. Ben Foster and Thomasin McKenzie should both be talked about for Oscar season.

4. Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri 

A morally complex black comedy about one woman's struggle with the justice system after the police fail to find the person who raped and killed her daughter. It took me a couple of watches to truly love Three Billboards, but I am fully on board with it now, compelling and powerful with an insane cast lead by an outstanding Frances McDormand. Coen Brothers vibes throughout are also very welcome.

3. Mission: Impossible - Fallout 

No one, including myself had any idea that the sixth film in the Mission: Impossible franchise would be anywhere close to the top of this list, but they once again pulled it off to deliver not just the best action film of the year, but one of the best action films ever made. Every single set-piece feels like something a film would save for it's finale, but Fallout just tops it every few scenes and even gets deeper into Cruise's Ethan Hunt than we've ever done before. Tom Cruise nearly dies for our entertainment on a regular basis and it continues to be worth it. The main is a saint.

2. You Were Never Really Here

Lynne Ramsay's You Were Never Really Here is Taxi Driver for a new generation. A brutal, unforgettable ride of the art-house genre. In another universe this is a grind-house action film with Joaquin Phoenix as a hammer wielding paedophile hunter, but what we got is far more meaningful, beautiful and just harrowing to watch. Art-house cinema rarely gets better than this.

1. A Star is Born

I know, I didn't expect this either. My film of the year is a music drama starring Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper, but it works far better than it had any right to. A human and deeply depressing story about a fading musician meeting an up and comer while her career begins to shadow his as he struggles with alcohol addiction. Cooper and Gaga both give powerful performances while Cooper also delivers a beautiful shot film with a ton of energy and sadness. Pure cinema. I can't wait to see what Cooper directs next.

So that's it, my top 10 films of 2018 locked in forever. I won't be doing a bottom 10 list this year, but I will be doing my 10 most anticipated of 2019. here's to another year of films. God bless.

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Aquaman (2018) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written December 13th, 2018*

It's no secret the DCEU (Or whatever it's called) is in a weird place. After the disaster that was the truly awful Justice League (A film I was far too easy on), it was clear Warner Bros needed something to refresh the slate and while many people were hoping this was more in line with Wonder Woman, it's sadly, it's streets ahead of Justice League, but at the end of the day its just another very middling and overblown superhero origin story that's more boring than exciting.

We go through very familiar ground that's been touched on countless times before in superhero films. There's the painfully dull flashbacks of Arthur learning to use his powers which includes one of the worst acting performances I've ever seen with the kid who plays him as a teenager and the de-aging effects on a wasted Willem Dafoe are truly awful. Which is no excuse seeing as Disney are able to do such amazing jobs on de-aging actors on screen.

I'm not really too sure how I feel about Jason Moama as Aquaman, his "Dude-bro" look and attitude gets very annoying at times, but for the most part he certainly has charisma and manages to more or less carry the basic plot. There's room for improvement here and he definitely shines more than he did in Justice League, but that annoying cocky attitude is still grating. His character arc is also so very basic and uninteresting, boy who doesn't want to be king slowly learns he must take up the responsibility and overthrow the current maniac holding the crown. Yawn.  

For a film with a cast this huge, it was so disappointing to see them all universally wasted. Patrick Wilson is truly awful as the current King of Atlantis/Aquaman's half brother, hamming it up every second he's on screen with some poorly handled motivation. What is up with all these blockbuster films this year with an environmental message? I mean, if you're gonna go that route, at least commit to it, not just have it as some preachy after-thought. The other minor villain "Manta" at least has some decent motivation due to a surprisingly cold, but justified moment from Aquaman in the opening moments of the film. They just don't really do a lot with these character aside from tease him for further films. Oh, and I hated how goofy and stupid his costume looked.

Amber Heard manages to be part of some of the solid action scenes, but really she's just reduced to a predictable and forced love interest that goes exactly where you think it will. It was bizarre to see Dolph Lundgren here too in a small, thankless role. I've seen two big Hollywood films within the space of two weeks with Dolph Lundgren part of the main cast. What year am I living in? Have I time travelled to the '80s? Nicole Kidman rounds off the cast as the lost mother of Aquaman and she's absolutely fine. There's just so little to say about the cast here.

Where Aquaman does at least shine is within James Wan's direction and action scenes. Nothing reaches the insane heights he's reached previously in his career, but the final act here is utterly insane, a vibrant and gorgeous underwater Lord of the Rings filled with weird and interesting creature designs. I just wish the action in the opening 2 hours were as cool as what happens at the end. A lot of action has its moments, but it's let down by some excessive slow-mo, despite flashes of kinetic energy there.

While there is some excellent visual effects and cinematography, there is also a lot of messy CGI that is downright ugly and feels unfinished at times. Seeing as every shot of this film probably has some CGI in it, it must have been a tough job, but they really do bring Atlantis to life and make it work for the most part. It's certainly a lot nice to look that than DC's much more murky and dark films. 


I don't know how Aquaman will hold up on future watches, but for now it's just a brutally overlong, uninspired mess of a film that has some of James Wan's creative action and flourishes, but fails to bring anything new to the genre. More or less another miss from DC, but it's still a lot better than Justice League. 

5/10 Dans

Aquaman is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Mortal Engines (2018) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written December 10th, 2018*

For better or worse, Mortal Engines is both better than I expected and exactly what I expected it to be. If that makes sense? It's just another overblown, over-budget entry in the quickly dying young-adult genre that is clearly made to start a franchise, but it's just not gonna happen. I guess what's most disappointing is that this is from Peter Jackson to an extent, a man who has crafted one of the best and most creative trilogies of all-time and is now seem to hit a point of CGI heavy and soulless blockbusters. Which is a great shame.

This certainly had its potential. I'd never read the books, but the idea of a post-apocalyptic steampunk world where giant cities devour each other in a wasteland has certain shades of Mad Max to it, so I was interested. Sadly, it rarely lives up to its original premise, the world-building and ins and outs of this concept are rarely explored in favour of a bland "Chosen one" YA story that we've seen countless times. There was so much potential to explore here and they just wasted it.

That's not to say the film doesn't look great, they definitely made the most of that risky $100 million budget. The world is impressive, ugly and some of the action has its moments, but it really lacking in any sort of creative punch. I did love the look of the movies cities, especially the giant main one, There's nothing visually horrible by any means, it all just feels competent, but completely flavourless. 

What really didn't help is how dull and uninteresting the characters are. Hera Hilmar isn't an actress I'd ever heard of before this, but it's hard to tell if she's a good actress when the character she's playing is this boring. She's just another Chosen One in a dystopian future as she tries to avenge the murder of her mother. The closest thing to interesting was the relationship between her and Stephen Lang's Shrike, an undead soldier who takes in Hilmar and raises her after the death of her mother. 

I must say I was actually surprised by how freaky and unsettling that look of Shrike was, the design clearly has shades of the White Walkers from Game of Thrones, but with a clockwork, steampunk aesthetic that reminded of the Dishonoured series. In fact, quite a lot here reminded me of Dishonoured, given this is also a steampunk portrayal of London. 

I also don't know what Hugo Weaving was doing here. He's doing a villain we've seen countless of times before, a power-hungry bad guy with connections to the lead character (With a mind blowingly obvious twist). I was reminded far too much of Christoph Waltz and Ben Mendelsohn's recent villain performances that are just extremely by the numbers and forgettable.

There's also just really weird humour shoved in here. Somehow they manage to shove in a visual gag to Minions (I shit you not), it was just pretty brutal and unfunny. The only genuine laughs I got out of this were at some of the insanely poor and on the nose dialogue that comes out the script. It did this annoying thing where the characters spell something out for you and you understand what they're talking about or feeling, then they felt the need to just blatantly say it rather than let the actors portray it, it got a little frustrating.

Then I laughed out loud at some of the character deaths towards the end where they do that thing that I just love. You know when a character they have barely given us enough to work with to care about them, but then to proceed to kill them off like it's a huge deal and we should care? Brace yourself for that....



Mortal Engines is another failed YA adaptation that will fail to kick-start a franchise and will most likely just go down in history as one of the biggest box-office bombs of recent years. It's a shame too, as there is a really interesting world here of giant cities eating each other, but it's just so wasted with a bland story we've seen countless times before.

5/10 Dans

Mortal Engines is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written December 9th, 2018*

Damn, no way was this meant to happen. Spider-Man has had a rough ride in terms of consistent quality with its films, there was a long stretch after Sam Raimi's Spider-Man 2 when we didn't even get a good one for 13 years with the excellent Spider-Man: Homecoming. After many false starts and uncertainty with what Sony is doing with the franchise, I never expected Into the Spider-Verse to not only be as good as it was, but also the best Spider-Man film we've had yet. 

While superhero films are becoming quite stale at the moment, often walking a line between mediocrity and excellence (The MCU delivers some of the most serviceable, but vanilla films in the past decade), Into the Spider-Verse comes along and derails everything in a self-aware piece of gorgeous animation that has more in common with The Lego Batman Movie than anything that's come before it. 

I'm not that big into comics, but I know Miles Morales is someone everyone has wanted to see in a film as Spider-Man for years and I can see why. He's both similar to Peter Parker in some ways, but is also a very different person with a different origin story and personal life. From the opening moments he's a very likeable character that's easy to get behind, forced into an elite school by his father where he feels he doesn't belong, only to get bitten by a radioactive spider and gain powers of his own. But that gets turned upside down as he sees Kingpin murder his universe's Peter Parker and open a portal that sends several different variations of Spider-Man into Mile's life.

Each one of these Spider-Man's has their own unique tone and style that works perfectly. Jake Johnson is an actor I usually find very irritating, but his voice work here as a more lazy and faded Spider-Man is equal parts pathetic and likeable. Then Nicolas Cage as "Noir Spider-Man" might just be the best version of the character available, a black and white coloured, private detective from the 1930's filled with lines that spoof the Noir genre cliches we know and love.

Hailee Steinfeld's Gwen Stacy is also infinitely more interesting than Emma Stone's take on the character from the Andrew Garfield films. She plays a great part in the dynamic and brings a lot of character to the role. The two more throwaway and sillier Spider-Men I possibly could have done without, but they were there for some serviceable comic-relief and it was fine.

From the trailers I was very excited by the unique animation style that Into the Spider-Verse takes on and it was even better as an actual film. It's hard to describe, it's sort of like cell-shaded, but stop-motion. It might be a bit off-putting for people who've never seen stuff like this, but it is absolutely gorgeous to look at. A bright, vibrant and colourful comic-book brought to life and being an animation makes it easier for some of the bigger and more cartoonish stuff that would be hard to do in live-action work. 

I was also taken back by how mature and emotional some of the character arcs and story could be at times. Morales arc of being who he wants to be was oddly touching and some of the big reveals towards the end actually worked and I didn't see coming, which is rare for a film like this. Some of the beats towards the end could actually Pixar a run for its money too, I'd even argue this is better than anything Disney or Pixar have released in years.

While going to some dark places and hitting emotional highs, they still manage to balance its comedy and self-aware tone very well. I'm sure there's a whole load of references to the comics that I didn't get, but there is an amazing jab at Spider-Man 3's emo/dance scene that I absolutely loved. 

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is an incredible achievement for the franchise and Spider-Man in general who has already had an insanely strong year already (Avengers: Infinity War and the PS4 game), but this incredible little animated film has managed to top them all and not only become the best Spider-Man film yet, but one of the best superhero films ever. A huge surprise and easily the best comic-book film of they year in an already very good year for the genre.


Who would have thought the future of Spider-Man was in animation? I know there's a sequel to this and several spin-offs in development, I just hope one of them is Nicolas Cage's Noir Spider-Man. 

9/10 Dans

Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse is out in cinemas in the UK on December 12th
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Creed 2 (2018) - Cinema Review

Review:
*Originally written December 9th, 2018*

When it was announced that Creed 2 would be losing Ryan Coogler as a director and continuing on from the events of Rocky IV and bring back the Drago family looking to rematch the Creed name, alarm bells who ringing. Don't get me wrong, I like Rocky IV a lot, but I much prefer the grounded and real take the series thrives on for me, so bringing back these dangerously '80s cartoon characters just seemed like a terrible idea on paper. Somehow though, it managed to work very well. 

Creed 2 finds Adonis Creed a bit more arrogant and cocky, dealing with being the heavyweight champion of the world and the relationship with his girlfriend. This all comes crashing down when Ivan Drago (The man who killed Adonis's father in a boxing match) comes to Philadelphia to challenge Adonis to a boxing match with his son to reclaim the Drago name after Rocky defeated him in the events of the fourth film. 

There was something inherently sad and pathetic about Ivan Drago this time round. He's not the one dimensional cartoon character we knew from the '80s, he's instead a broken man rejected by his country after his defeat. Coldly raising his son with overbearing and brutal training regimes and fights in order to make the Drago name mean something again. I was so surprised to find the highlight of a film featuring Michael B Jordan and Sylvester Stallone to be overshadowed by Dolph Lundgren's cold and restrained performance that completely reinvents the character. 

That's not say Adonis and Rocky don't have their own compelling arcs in Creed 2, they do. It's a bit predictable and by the formula we all know by this point, but it works. Adonis is once again struggling to live in his father's shadow and instantly takes the chance to fight Drago to initially disastrous results. Michael B Jordan continues to absolutely fierce and committed in the role, he's doing that angry, emo thing he did in the first Creed and Black Panther, but it's still very effective.

When it comes to the physical side of things, the boxing is always the least interesting thing about this series for me, I care about the characters foremost, but Steven Caple Jr. does a solid job filming the fights in their brutality, especially the first match between Drago and Creed. Florian Munteanu is a complete beast as Viktor Drago, being his only acting role to date, I had my reservations, but his physical performance is very strong and he's a great addition to franchise.

I was a bit disappointed by the smaller role Rocky takes on this time as Adonis's trainer. After Stallone got an Oscar nomination for his surprisingly powerful role in the first Creed, I was maybe expecting a little too much here. Stallone is still perfect in the role, playing the right amount of possibly mentally challenged, humble and likeable, even making way for some sweet moments (I could watch him to to Adrian at her grave for a whole film). It was just a shame how he disappears for large portions of the film and if this is truly Stallone's last time playing Rocky, then it leaves it on a hopeful and happy note for the iconic character. 

I'm just not entirely sure I want to see this franchise continue without the inclusion of Rocky Balboa. It's clear they want to pass on the torch to Michael B Jordan to continue the series, but if I'm honest, I'm here for Rocky mostly, even though Adonis is a very good character on his own. 


Creed 2 hits the formula we've seen countless times, but it shows that with a strong cast, characters and storytelling that everything can come together to work. Not as great as the first Creed, but another excellent entry to the Rocky franchise that only has one bad film to its name so far. 

8/10 Dans

Creed 2 is out now in cinemas in the UK with a 4K UHD Steelbook available to pre-order from HMV now
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Robin Hood (2018) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written November 28th, 2018*

From the Disney animated classic to Ridley Scott's 2010 adaptation and even the BBC series that I quite liked as a kid, I've been exposed to the Robin Hood legend a lot, but I'm always up for seeing this story told again, for whatever reason. Sadly, this absolute mess that doesn't know what it wants to be is a misfire on nearly all fronts.

After Guy Ritchie's King Arthur, a completely insane and interesting colossal flop from last year failed to get audiences attention, it's incredible to me that a studio put so a ludicrous amount of money into giving Robin Hood the same treatment, but without Guy Ritchie's direction at the forefront, just some TV director jobber trying to emulate his style. 

What's frustrating is just how by the numbers this facade is and how it does absolutely nothing to justify its existence. It's a bit more light-hearted and arguably more entertaining than Ridley Scott's slog of an epic, but it's nowhere near as interesting and does exactly what that tried to do, but dumber. I'll always have a soft-spot for the Robin Hood legend as he is the true communist we need in such a capitalist world. I was almost cheering when Robin gave his speeches about the rich stealing money from the people who actually do the labour to make the profit. Preach, brother. We have nothing to lose but our chains.

I was shocked when this finished and I discovered it was only 100 minutes, it felt like at least 2 hours. Which is probably due to having seen so much of this before. It's just so charmless and bland. Not even a solid cast can save it. Taron Egerton is one of these recent actors who seemed well suited to the role, but he's just so generic and bland here, he lacks any real kind of charm or charisma. Oscar winner Jamie Foxx is cast as an Arabian (For some reason) and he is so over the top and silly, he felt like something from a different film. Eve Hewson is the generic damsel in distress as Maid Marion, a character defined entirely by her cleavage. Tim Minchin brings a little bit of distracting humour to his role as he does a bizarre Bill Bailey impression.

Ben Mendelsohn is a fantastic actor, so it's such a shame to see him falling back into the same boring villain role he seems to get cast in all the time these days. A menacing and forgettable cliche that chews the scenery, but lacks anything close to resembling a character. His career reminds me very much of Christoph Waltz after Inglorious Basterds. They saw he could play a good villain, so they just kept casting him in the same role with diminishing returns each time. Between this, Rogue One and Ready Player One, I could not tell you a thing that separates Mendelsohn's characters.

The action shows some signs of style here and there, but is consistently butchered by hacky editing and annoying slow-motion that feels insanely outdated in 2018. The Matrix was 19 years ago. Get over it. It was fun to see Robin's insane bow-play now and then though, I honestly wish they did some of the action in the vein of John Wick's "Gun-Fu", but with bow and arrows. How much better would that have been?

It's also pretty clear that they wanted to hire Hans Zimmer for the score here, but instead just got someone in to create a knock-off of his Dark Knight score. I was in disbelief at how similar it sounded to his work. Zimmer needs to start a lawsuit here. It was laughable. 


This whole thing just does not know what it wants to be. It opens with "Forget anything you know about history", but then goes on to tell a story we've seen several times with no changes. It even has a shameless sequel bait ending for a film that will never see the light of day considering this is tracking to be one of the biggest bombs of the year. It's no loss. Can't wait for the next Robin Hood reboot in 2028 mimicking the style of whatever's popular then.

4/10 Dans

Robin Hood is out now in cinemas in the UK
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The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written November 28th, 2018*

I suppose I might have expected a little too much from this. A sequel to one of David Fincher's masterworks where he did't return and neither did the cast. It's more a soft reboot than a sequel, but I had high expectations with Fede Alvarez chosen to direct. Especially after his solid Evil Dead remake and masterfully tense Don't Breathe. 

Sadly, this feels very far removed from the Girl in the Dragon tattoo series that I know. I'd only ever seen the original Swedish film and Fincher's remake. Despite the involvement of Alvarez, a director who thrives with grotesque content and extreme violence and gore, this sequel feels remarkably toned down and different in order to appeal to a much more mainstream audience. It honestly feels more like a James Bond film than what came before. The similarities between this and Spectre are striking. 

Fincher's film opened with stylish James Bond knock-off opening credits and this one follows that tradition too, but something just feels off and not right with it. Maybe it was the lack of a memorable song or visuals, and the fact it so brief and didn't fully commit to it. I can't quite pinpoint why that didn't work for me.

What's most disappointing is just how formulaic this all seems. It feels like an extended episode of TV where everything goes where you expect it to. Dragon Tattoo was an exhausting and complex mystery film, whereas Spider's Web feels more like a dumb action film where Lisabeth Salander has to get back an experiment government programme that has been taken by her evil albino sister who now runs a terrorist organisation. It just felt so tonally off from the more grounded and real evil that haunted the previous films.

As disappointing as this was, it does show flashes of genuine tension and enjoyment. Alvarez delivers some really disturbing and weird visuals that can't live up to Fincher, but they do a damn close job at times. As much as the script is an utter mess, the visual style is on point. There's even some decent and creative action scenes, they just lack the visceral brutality the series is known for.

Claire Foy does a good job as Lisabeth, she has the cool, ice cold demeanour with a lot going on there if you know the character, it's just the script fails to explore the character at all, leaving her a bit one-note. Despite the events of what she goes through, by the end of the film she's pretty much the same person and goes through very little development, leaving the whole thing feel a little pointless if they plan to continue this franchise (They won't, this bombed). 

Lisabeth's thought dead sister played by Sylvia Hoeks was just ridiculous. She looked and felt like some comic-book villain with an anime character look. It's just completely out of place in this world. I just don't know what the hell they were thinking. Despite being such a prominent part of the marketing, she doesn't even really appear properly until the last 20 minutes and completely derails every scene she's in.

I was at least pleasantly surprised to see British comedian Stephen Merchant appear in his first fully dramatic role and was not just the comic relief, which I feared when I saw his name in the credits. His role is brief, but he actually does a really good job at drama. I'd really love to see him star in his own drama series at some point and see how he does there.


While The Girl in the Spider's Web is very much a letdown in many regards, it's still perfectly decent and watchable thriller that shines when Alvarez's style is allowed to shine through, it's just a shame its hampered by such a inane and silly script that feels tonally off from anything that's come before this. Since this is isn't doing so well, I'd say the best thing they can do is once again reboot this series and return to the dark horror its known for.

6/10 Dans

The Girl in the Spider's Web is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written November 17th, 2018*

There's a lot to take on here. The second in the series of five Harry Potter prequels tells a far more interesting story than the first one, while managing to make a few very misguided and questionable decisions. It also has that annoying thing of setting up a lot of things that they're planning to resolve in future films rather than just work with what they've got. Now, I've not got a huge problem with this, as I know this will all play better once all five films have been released and will flow better, but it's still a little frustrating.

Tonally, this is far more darker than the first Fantastic Beasts. There is a lot of harsh stuff in here for a kids film. For a sequel to a film that played it pretty lighthearted, it's a bit jarring. I'd only rewatched the first film a day ago, so it was odd to see thing go from Newt making animal noises and gestures to a fantastical animal to full blown child murder and mass murder within the space of two hours. They really try and go for an Empire Strikes Back vibe here as all the characters are split up and left in a much worse place by the time the credits roll.

I much preferred this tone and it is far close to the later Harry Potter films in terms of style rather than the earlier ones and the First Fantastic Beasts. The transition is far from perfect though, for a film that takes itself so seriously, it's weird that they shove in these strange moments of comedy between Newt and his creatures right in the middle of things for brief scenes that feel tacked in and have no flow the overall story. It reeked of re-shoots added in for "More comedy". I'm sure that wasn't the case, but that's honestly how these scenes played to me.

I was extremely worried that these five Fantastic Beasts films would play like the Hobbit films compared to the Lord of the Rings, a hollow CGI fest that lacked the charm of any of the films that came before it. And while it can be argued that this is true, I still feel more connected to this than I had any of the Hobbit films. Despite feeling like the middle film in a series, I was constantly engaged by the story and was really into it, even with a lot of the issues the film had, and there are a lot. 

There's a lot of odd moments that feel out of place and overlooked. The return of Dan Fogley as Jacob and Alison Sudol's Queenie is much appreciated and welcome, their return is a bumpy ride that did not sit right with me at all. Their first scene back it's revealed that Queenie is using basically the Wizarding World equivalent of a date rape drug to keep Jacob from leaving her. It's not said how long she's been using it, but that's gotta be rape right? He's hypnotised and doing whatever she says without any free will of his own? But this is played for laughs, it's odd and a bit sickening.

Either way, once that stuff is brushed off as a misguided attempt at humour, Jacob and Queenie have surprising character arcs that really left me surprised at how this is going to go in the series. It's probably one of the few things I actually understood in the final act as the film juggles so much and delivers so much exposition that it leaves things as a bit of a confusing mess. 

That's marginally where some of my problems come from. The final thirty minutes are a bit of a mess with such confusing editing and mix of far too many things being juggled. I know a lot of this will make sense to huge Potterheads, but as someone who grew up watching the Harry Potter films, I was left muddled and not sure what the hell and just happened aside from a few key beats.

I'm also confused as to why this film is called "Fantastic Beasts" too. That title made sense for the first film, as it was actually about Newt and his creatures, but here they are merely background devices used to remind audiences that "Oh, yeah. Newt loves animals". Don't get more wrong, I'm much more interested in the plot of Grindelwald and Dumbledore than a series of films about Newt going country to country finding creatures. I just don't know why they haven't dropped this title. Oh, the Marvelization of the Harry Potter series was pretty rampant from the giant "WIZARDING WORLD" logo that opens the film, which honestly would have made more sense as the title. 

I did at least appreciate the Harry Potter universe references that I understood based on my knowledge of the films. There's some fun name drops, locations  and characters involved that I'm sure Potterheads will be creaming over. While his screen-time was brief, Jude Law made for a fantastic young Dumbledore and I can't wait to see him more in future films, I just hope they actually have the balls to explore his sexuality rather than just tease it like they do in this one. 

Eddie Redmayne is still interesting as the lead of this series. I saw an article before seeing this saying that Newt might be autistic, and once I had that in my head, it was all I could see. The mannerisms, social awkwardness and obsession with animals was all there. I do not have a problem with this at all, in fact if they reveal he is autistic, then I'll love it even more. It's a ballsy and rare move to have an autistic character as the lead of a huge franchise. 

There was a lot of controversy over the casting of Johnny Depp after his abuse allegations and while his reveal in the first Fantastic Beasts is  laughable and off-putting, there was a lot of work put in here to undo a lot of that damage. Depp actually plays it pretty sinister and intimidating, it actually feels like he's trying again after a decade of embarrassing roles where plays a bunch of zany, over the top characters. He's responsible for some of the most violent and disturbing acts so far in the Harry Potter franchise, from the opening escape to the finale, he's pretty damn good and not overused at all.


So that's Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, a darker and more compelling sequel that suffers from a few tonal issues and a convoluted final act as it tries to juggle far too much for one film, but overall it's definitely a step in the right direction for the series and I really hope it continues to improve with each film.

7/10 Dans

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald is out now in cinemas in the UK, with a 4K UHD Steelbook available to pre-order from HMV

Watch the trailer below:

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