Moana (2016) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written December 2nd, 2016*

Despite having a fairly by the numbers story. You know, it's the usual, chosen one is needed to save her village and bring peace and order back. It pretty typical stuff, but some decent songs, great characters and beautiful animation go a long way to help overcome Moana's by the numbers plot.

What keeps this at least a little different from the other Disney films is the different culture and ethnicities. I'm having a hard time recalling other films that have covered Polynesia, but hey, Disney did here and it made for a great change of scenery.

Where Moana excels is in its characters. Moana is another great and strong female lead from Disney. While The Rock provides great comic-relief as the less than heroic demi-god who has moving tattoos on his body. There's also some decent, if not entirely memorable songs that keep things going. I wasn't expecting this to be a musical, so that threw me a little bit.

It also covers Disney's recurring theme this year of mentally challenged animals. The chicken in this reminded me a lot of the bird from Finding Dory, which was also fully mentally challenged. Like full-on. I'm not sure what Disney are going for with these characters. It at least provided a few laughs.

I seem to say this with every released Disney film, but they once again prove themselves to be the kings of animation. This truly was a visually beautiful and inventive film. The character designs are awesome, the locations look incredible and my god, the photo-realistic water blew me away again. I'll once again mention the moving tattoos on The Rock's character, as they really did steal the show.


Moana might not be the most groundbreaking Disney effort, but it's another solid entry with great characters, a simple story and some truly incredible animation.

7/10 Dans

Moana is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

Follow us:
Twitter: @FigmentReviews and @ArronRoke91
Instagram: @thesurprisingadventuresofdanb and @ArronRoke
YouTube: Figment Reviews 
Letterboxd: Dan and Arron
Facebook

All the Money in the World (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written January 9th, 2017*

"All the Plummer in the World"

Ridley Scott's All the Money in the World will be remembered more for the controversy surrounding Kevin Spacey's removal due to his sexual harassment claims, which in all honesty, is more interesting than the actually film itself.

This is pretty middle of the road Ridley Scott. He's a director who just isn't capable of the greatness he once was. This is far more in line with the director of Body of Lies or American Gangster than the man who created masterpieces like Blade Runner or Alien. There's a fascinating true story here about the kidnap of the grandson of a billionaire and the reluctance to pay the ransom. It's just a shame that is completely by the numbers.

This is by no means a bad film, but it is massively overlong and drags so much. The opening act jumps around in time giving us backstory to all these characters, which wasn't really needed. Scenes that feel they should have tension really don't. There are some moments during the kidnap that are quite engaging, but it doesn't last or it cuts to something else. 

The whole thing surrounding Kevin Spacey is an odd one. We'll sadly never see the Spacey cut, but Christopher Plummer does steal the show as the utterly sadistic and sociopathic Paul Getty. A man who is essential a live-action portrayal of Mr. Krabs from Spongebob Squarepants. While his performance is a little hammy and over the top, it is certainly effective and elevated the film with his presence.

Michelle Williams also delivers an excellent performance as the mother of the kidnapped grandson, I was a bit distracted by her accent at first, but she quickly won me over. Mark Wahlberg was also well.... Mark Wahlberg, doing his usual Mark Wahlberg thing, don't get me wrong, I really like Mark Wahlberg, but there's something off about him in serious and not goofy roles that are much more suited to him.

I hate to say it, but if he was still alive, this would feel far more suited to Tony Scott, who has always been better at this sort of film than his brother. Scott's direction here is very bland and forgettable, I'm going to have trouble remembering anything about this that wasn't Christopher Plummer in a few days.


All the Money in the World isn't terrible, but it is very forgettable and lacks the tension a story like this deserves. It's lesser Scott and is saved mostly due to Christopher Plummer's excellent performance.

6/10 Dans

All the Money in the World is out now in cinemas in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

Follow us:
Twitter: @FigmentReviews and @ArronRoke91
Instagram: @thesurprisingadventuresofdanb and @ArronRoke
YouTube: Figment Reviews 
Letterboxd: Dan and Arron
Facebook

Molly's Game (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written January 8th, 2017*

I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from Molly's Game, the trailers were fast and flashy, Jessica Chastain looked great doing her usual thing and it's written by Aaron Sorkin (AKA: The God of Writing) and also directed by him. The whole thing came together for an insanely entertaining and immensely interesting true life story.

Telling the true story of an Olympic skier who eventually goes on to host some of the biggest backdoor poker games in America, Molly's Game is one of those stranger than fiction stories that grabs you from the beginning and just escalates in a classic rise and fall story. 

Jessica Chastain is as outrageously good as she usually is, it's only January and Chastain's Molly Bloom is will probably be one of my favourite performances of the year, endlessly watchable as she spouts out Sorkin's dialogue like it's no ones business. Her portrayal of Bloom is one with complex depth and humanity, they don't shy away from the bad side of her character, but it makes you easily empathize with her. I wish they'd explored her drug addiction a little more and how it took its toll, but they more than make up for that with just how fast this thing moves.

I was massively surprised by Michael Cera's "Player X", a man (Possibly based on Tobey Maguire) who helped build Molly's empire. I found it a novelty at first to see Cera in such a role, but he quickly becomes a compelling and sometimes frightening presence that brings a lot of tense moments and situations.

The real star of Molly's Game is Aaron Sorkin, we know he's good at writing, his dialogue is quick-witted and sharp, making things endlessly watchable, but he also does a great job as a first time director. The film isn't overly stylized or anything, it's not an ugly looking film by any means, it just looks a little plain. Not all films need to be stylish and flashy, but Sorkin clearly takes influence from Scorsese, making for a quickly edited piece of entertainment.


Molly's Game might have been one of the most overlooked releases of recent years. Chastain puts in an award deserving performance while Sorkin continues to be one of the best writers of our time, please seek out this fascinating true story. It's worth it.

9/10 Dans

Molly's Game is out now in cinemas in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

Follow us:
Twitter: @FigmentReviews and @ArronRoke91
Instagram: @thesurprisingadventuresofdanb and @ArronRoke
YouTube: Figment Reviews 
Letterboxd: Dan and Arron
Facebook

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written January 8th, 2017*

"Jungle Fever"

A sequel to Jumanji coming this late seems like an odd prospect. The first is a treasured childhood classic for a lot of people and the death of Robin Williams just made this seem like an awful idea, then there was the casting of Kevin Hart and the truly awful trailers. Much to my surprise, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is far from the disaster I expected, it's not great, but for the most part, it's perfectly serviceable entertainment.

Updating Jumanji into a video game is something that sounds awful on paper, but works pretty well on screen. They expand the rules of the board, so I guess it can adapt to its surroundings and manipulate anyone around it into playing it. The board was still left exactly where it ended up at the end of the first film, which was a nice touch too.

Things start a little slow, the new cast of kids are actually pretty annoying and kind of assholes. There's the shy nerd, the jock, the hot, self absorbed blonde and the girl who doesn't quite fit in. I have a hard time trying to remember any of these characters. We spend quite a while with them before they enter the board game, it's just a shame the time we spend with them is pretty dull and just feels like a poor mans Breakfast Club.

Once we enter Jumanji, things really start to get fun and pick up. The cast are great (Aside from Kevin Hart, who is just annoying). Dwayne Johnson is just pure charisma from his appearance alone. Karen Gillian is great as the scantly clad explorer with a decent character arc and Jack Black steals the show by being the funniest part. I will mention Bobby Cannavale, who is completely wasted as the villain, a boring piece of cardboard that left no impact. He was nothing on the hunter from the original.

While the CGI is blatant and obvious, there is a lot of fun with the set-pieces. It's over the top and ridiculous and lacks the charm of the original, but it's highly entertaining to watch. There's some cool stuff with the video game elements. Each character has their own unique skills and abilities, some silly and some hilarious (Pie). 

There's really very little to say about Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, it's just very basic and undemanding entertainment, you enjoy what you watch, but by the end of it there's very little to process. I will say I loved the ending though. A huge "Fuck you" to films that end with sequel bait. That said, I wouldn't say no to more Jumanji in the future.

6/10 Dans

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle is out now in cinemas in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

Follow us:
Twitter: @FigmentReviews and @ArronRoke91
Instagram: @thesurprisingadventuresofdanb and @ArronRoke
YouTube: Figment Reviews 
Letterboxd: Dan and Arron
Facebook

David Brent: Life on the Road (2016) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written August 22nd, 2016*

"Gervais. Stop."

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from watching Ricky Gervais’ latest film, David Brent: Life on the Road, it’s that David Brent was never what made The Office truly great. While he was a likeable and misguided buffoon, he had a heart that brought an emotional core to the show, but it was the rest of the cast that brought balance to the show. Life on the Road is 90 minutes of non-stop David Brent in your face, and it is insufferable.

Life on the Road takes place several years after Brent’s run on The Office and a documentary crew catch up with him as he takes a month away from his job as a tampon salesman in order to take his band ‘Forgone Conclusion’ on the road in one last effort for a shot at fame.

Ricky Gervais still plays David Brent to near perfection, he’s just as pathetic, embarrassing and cringe-worthy as he was in the early 2000s. For the first 20 minutes I was in a state of euphoria, I was loving it. While Gervais’ recent output has been anything but good, I was really hoping he could bring it back with the revival of his most loved character. And he did. For 20 minutes.

Before Brent actually goes on tour, things seem great and hopeful. The jokes come thick and fast, they mostly all land, but then it hits a slump that it never recovers from and being with Brent is insufferable. I will admit I wasn’t the most positive about going to see Life on the Road, but I never wanted it to be bad. But spending 90 minutes with Brent and his annoying laugh is a tedious chore that should have never left its 20 minute segments on TV.

There are a few moments of greatness littered throughout and there some really, really good songs. ‘Don’t Make Fun of Disableds’ was a highlight, and we once again get to hear ‘Equality Street’ from the Red Nose Day special. This was all fine, but when the focus shifted from the gig to Brent, things came tumbling down.

My biggest disappointment was with what they tease us with, but never explore. We early on discover that Brent has been clinically depressed, been in therapy and is on anti-depressants, which would have made for far more interesting material than him desperately trying to cling to fame. These elements are talked about in all but two scenes then are quickly discarded like it’s not important. Any time they go anywhere near interesting or dark, they back away in favour of crude and cringe-worthy humour, which was frustrating to say the least.

In terms of Brent’s arc throughout. None of it is earned. His band members hate and find him annoying at the beginning, refusing to drink with him unless they’re paid, but do a complete 180 in the final moments which felt completely unnatural and weird. There was no real reason for this character change. I feel Gervais bullet pointed that at the beginning of the film the band hate him, but at the end they like him, but he completely forgot to write why this happened. It was very lazy and a way to force an emotional moment for the audience that didn’t work at all.

The lack of characters from The Office was very disappointing too. I know this a David Brent film and not an Office film, but aside from a couple of references to gags from The Office, it added an extra layer of disappointment that Brent doesn’t even mention or stay in contact with any of the characters from The Office. Which is pretty much against everything the perfect Christmas special delivered. It was all just depressing, I’m not saying a forced cameo from Tim, Dawn, Gareth or Finchy would have helped things, but some acknowledgement would have gone a long way.


I’m really in the camp that Stephen Merchant should have been part of this . While Brent is Gervais’ baby, Merchant has been there since his inception and really helped mould the character to what  we saw in The Office, without him, it all just fell flat. I wouldn’t say I “hated” Life on the Road, but I wouldn’t say it’s a good film at all, it is definitely  bad, disappointing, annoying and a far cry from the once great work from Gervais such as The Office and Extras. There’s a certain irony to all this. Gervais has practically become Andy Millman from Extras, a sellout trying to milk characters that should have stayed buried. It’s sad and pathetic, and quite upsetting that Gervais has slumped so low after such greatness. Please, Gervais. Just stop.


3/10 Dans

David Brent: Life on the Road is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

Follow us:
Twitter: @FigmentReviews and @ArronRoke91
Instagram: @thesurprisingadventuresofdanb and @ArronRoke
YouTube: Figment Reviews 
Letterboxd: Dan and Arron
Facebook

Bottom 10 Films of 2017

While it's been an excellent overall year for films, that doesn't change the fact there has been some absolute garbage. I've refrained from adding straight-to-DVD films because that would be too easy. The rules are the same, films released in 2017 (UK release dates) and some dishonourable mentions. Let's get to it and give me some Vietnam style PTSD from having to remember them films existed. There'll also be links to the full review of the films I did review.

10. Power Rangers

What could have been dumb fun turned out to be a mercilessly dull and self-serious take on a campy kids action series. It was more in line with 2015's Fantastic Four than anything close to fun. A laughably bad tonal mess with an outrageous amount of Krispy Kreme product placement.

9. Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

Let's be honest, the Resident Evil films have never been much good, and this isn't even the worst one, which is a hell of an achievement. A incomprehensible mess of poor editing and pitch black lighting, making the action impossible to follow and extremely boring. The title is also just a complete lie. It's time for a reboot.

8. The Snowman

One of the strangest messes of the year. The Snowman had no right to be as bad it was. A bland and boring serial killer drama with one of the most laughably bad performances of the year from Val Kilmer, who now looks like the weird love child of Brad Pitt and Tommy Wiseau.

7. Unforgettable

Somehow this film got made. A film that was barely TV movie quality and somehow managed to push the portrayal of women back a few decades. Katherine Heigl was at least fun to see go so over the top, but for the most part, it was just tacky shit.

6. Flatliners

There's not a lot to say about Flatliners, a remake that was disguised as a sequel, yet had absolutely no relation to original, despite Kiefer Sutherland reprising his role from the original, but he wasn't even the same character. A poor remake that has quickly and thankfully been forgotten already.

5. Killing Gunther

I'm a sucker for anything with Arnie in it. So was kinda excited for Killing Gunther, an action comedy with a novel idea. The end product turned out to be a cheap piece of VOD garbage that has Arnie in it for 10 minutes, and when he is on screen, he's just rehashing famous one-liners to cringe-worthy extent. Embarrassing. 

4. The Bye-Bye Man

The Bye Bye Man is pathetic, a laughably terrible and cheap teen horror film that does nothing right. The tagline for the film comes as a warning about the film itself.

3. The Emoji Movie

I came to a realisation while watching The Emoji Movie. Live is meaningless and nothing we do matters.

2. Fifty Shades Darker

Somehow Fifty Shades Darker managed to be even more awful than the first. There's still the laughable novelty of hearing some of the most cringe-worthy dialogue of the year, but it's mostly just dull and boring. This one at least had some of the most outrageous and out of nowhere plot developments that went nowhere. At least there's just one more of these to go and I imagine you'll be seeing that on my bottom 10 of 2018 too.

1. Transformers: The Last Knight

While barely better than the previous entry, Age of Extinction. The Last Knight is still just cinema at its worst. Barbarically overlong, stupid and boring, filled with Bay's trademark childish humour and action that has just got tired by this point in the series. I'd never wanted to die as much as I did after watching this steaming turd of a film.

Dishonourable mentions:

1. iBoy

2. Rings

3. Hidden Figures

4. xXx: The Return of Xander Cage

5. The Boss Baby

6. The Belko Experiment

7. Geostorm

8. Rough Night

9. Sandy Wexler

10. The Assignment

There we go. Now let's enjoy another year of potentially awful films! Salud! 

Follow us:
Twitter: @FigmentReviews and @ArronRoke91
Instagram: @thesurprisingadventuresofdanb and @ArronRoke
YouTube: Figment Reviews 
Letterboxd: Dan and Arron
Facebook

  

Top 10 Films of 2017

I don't want to talk in hyperbole here, but I honestly believe that 2017 has been the strongest year of cinema in which I've been alive from what I can remember. It helps that I've managed to more or less see every release I've wanted to see this year, with the exception of The Killing of a Sacred Deer, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, The Greatest Showman and a few more. This is also based on UK release dates, so a lot of films that are technically this year that aren't released till 2018 in the UK will count as next years list (The Shape of Water, Phantom Thread, Coco etc). I also saw Three Billboards in 2017, but I'm counting that for next years due to the release date being at the end of January. Let's get started anyway. Links to my full reviews will be on each film.

10. Dunkirk 

Christopher Nolan's war epic had a lot going against it: A 12A rating, a strangely short run-time and the odd casting of Harry Styles, yet it all worked so well. An intense survival story that is more concerned with intensity than cliche and sentimentally than most war films suffer from. Harry Styles also managed to be an inspired piece of casting. 

9. mother!

While hated and ignored by the mainstream due to its strangeness and uncompromising vision, I adored Darren Aronofsky's hardcore and terrifying horror film that just unfolds and unfolds until the last act explodes with some of the most insane content I've seen in a cinema ever. It's been a few months now, but everything I saw from this is still very fresh in my head.

8. War for the Planet of the Apes

No one expected the reboot to the Planet of the Apes series to be this good, but we're finally at the end of Caesar's story and it went out in the most heartbreaking and poignant way possible. A blockbuster that was far more focused on character and story than it was mindless action and spectacle. Not to say the action wasn't spectacular, as it was, thanks to the insane CGI used to create Caesar that is still raising questions as to whether Andy Serkis can bag an Oscar in a motion capture suit (He should).

7. The Florida Project

I have yet to see Sean Baker's previous film Tangerine, but after being blown way by this I really need to. A desperately sad, but touching and sweet look at the outskirts of Disneyland Florida. An indie-comedy drama most people won't see, but I really recommend you dig this out and give it a go.

6. La La Land

There was a time where I thought La La Land would be my film of the year, but it somehow managed to not land the top spot. A gorgeous and endlessly watchable musical drama with some of the best energy I've seen for a while. And this is coming from someone who hates musicals.

5. The Disaster Artist

Somehow a film about the making of the worst film ever made managed to be one of the best films of the year. A touching look at trying to achieve your dreams as an actor in Los Angeles while everyone is against your vision. Also, by far the best comedy of the year thanks to James Franco's career high best as the always fascinating Tommy Wiseau.

4. Baby Driver

Once you look past the silly title (Which does make sense), Baby Driver is one of the best films of the year. An electric musical action comedy with the best soundtrack of the year filled with classic rock and a variety of everything. Edgar Wright can do no wrong at this point.

3. T2 Trainspotting

Trainspotting has always had a special place in my heart, I've seen it several times and while seeing these characters again sounded appealing, the 20 year gap and general lack of success with belated sequels had me worried (That awful title too), Danny Boyle managed to surprise me and deliver a film that adds a lot to the first one while taking the characters in new directions. I'd really like to see these characters return in the future too.

2. Blade Runner 2049

Blade Runner 2049 is one of those rare sequels that not only improves on the original, but completely blows it out the water. Denis Villeneuve has made a gorgeous and fully realised film that takes its time and delivers one of the most emotional experiences of the year. It's also nice to see Harrison Ford not phone it in for the first time in a while. Fuck Jared Leto though.

1. Logan

It wasn't going to be anything else. Huge Jacked Man's 17 year run as The Wolverine came to a beautiful and powerful end in a film that was a more a quiet western than it was anything close to a superhero film. A brutal, bleak and depressing drama and the best thing to happen to superhero films since The Dark Knight. The fact Logan won't even get nominated for any Oscars at all is an embarrassment. 

Well, that's my top 10, but here is some honourable mentions:

1. Raw

2. John Wick: Chapter 2

3. Good Time

4. Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2

5. Get Out

6. Battle of the Sexes

7. Atomic Blonde

8. Brawl in Cell Block 99

9. Moonlight

10. Detroit

11. American Made

12. 20th Century Women

13. Star Wars: The Last Jedi

14. Silence

15. Wind River

16. Kingsman: The Golden Circle

17. IT

18. The Handmaiden

19. Song to Song

20. Fences

Thanks for reading and here's to a hopefully excellent year of films. Also look out for my bottom 10 films of the year soon.

Follow us:
Twitter: @FigmentReviews and @ArronRoke91
Instagram: @thesurprisingadventuresofdanb and @ArronRoke
YouTube: Figment Reviews 
Letterboxd: Dan and Arron
Facebook