*Originally written December 26th, 2016*
"Sometimes you just gotta see the.... Collateral Beauty..."
Collateral Beauty is a film that shocked me to my core. What a poorly written, manipulative, absurd excuse for Oscar bait. This was a film so horrific on so many levels that it left me shell-shocked in disgust.
Fuck knows what "Collateral Beauty" even means, but it doesn't stop characters from saying it, a lot. They say it like it's profound, but I burst out laughing. How the fuck was any audience meant to take this bullshit seriously. The plot twists were laughably insane, especially the last reveal. Which makes no sense at all. I sat there saying "No fucking way did that happen. No fucking way. I'm not having that". The other twist I predicted in the first act.
Oh, I gotta talk about how misleading the trailer is. The trailer frames the film as if it was about Will Smith mourning the death of his child by writing to the concepts of Death, Time and Love, only for them to actually come visit him in some bullshit Scrooge inspired story. This could not be any more misleading. What actually happens is far more misguided and nasty.
This is actually the film about an asshole who has no idea how to react to the death of his child by acting like no other human would. He goes to work and builds elaborate Domino sets then watches them collapse while he refuses to communicate with other people. His co-workers react to this by hiring actors to pretend to be Death, Love and Time so they can film him talking to them then editing them out the video so it looks like he's mentally unstable and unable to be a shareholder. It was insane.
Will Smith's "friends" manipulate him into thinking he's insane. Which is not only horrible, but he's also on the edge of suicide. It was so disgusting and nasty, but played completely justified with only a few people pointing out how wrong this is. Not only are Smith's sociopathic friends unacceptable with their behaviour, neither is Smith's. I don't know what it's like to lose a child, but it's probably the worst thing that can happen to you. I get that it can break you as a person, but what isn't okay is to use that grief to be an asshole and derail the lives of those around you with your selfish behaviour.
What makes Collateral Beauty that more frustrating is the waste of its really talented cast. Will Smith, Edward Norton, Keira Knightley and Helen Mirren try their hardest, but are impossible to take seriously with the god-awful script with such cringe-worthy and unbelievable lines. I could not believe a human being wrote this. Everything tried so hard to sound profound and meaningful, but it just was insane.
I don't know what else to say. Collateral Beauty is a complete train-wreck of a film and easily one of the worst films of the year thanks to its horrific script, laughable plot twists and the waste of such a talented cast. Everyone involved in this abomination should be ashamed.
1/10 Dans
Collateral Beauty is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
Watch the trailer below:
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