*Originally written February 12th, 2016*
It really surprises me how many times Carrie has been adapted for the screen, out of all the Stephen King's work, Carrie has easily been the most milked, but now I've seen every version there is to offer (Even The Rage: Carrie 2), and I've still to read the book (I will), but out of all the offerings we've had, this is easily the worst.
Originally made to be a pilot episode for a Carrie TV show (How the fuck that was ever going to work, we'll never know), this 2002 adaption tells the same story, but the only twist is we get police interviews intercut throughout the story set after the prom massacre. This brought nothing to the table. There's some implied city-wide destruction we haven't seen from any other Carrie story, but it was nothing more than an areal shot of some extremely fake looking buildings on fire.
Everything here was absolutely brutal. It was made for TV and it shows, some truly shocking special effects that look like something from the lowest budget Sci-Fi Channel film ever made. Every performance is terrible, it was also weird to see Claire (The blonde Australian girl, It's been a while since I've watched it, so I'm not sure if that's her name or not) from Lost here. She's bloody tasty though, I'll give here that.
The cheap look of the film makes it almost impossible to take anything seriously. The sudden jump cuts that are made to scare you, come off as hilarious and laughably bad. The cuts where there were ad breaks are also very clear and distracting.
This is also the longest of all the Carrie adaptions, clocking in at an unbearable 2 hours and 10 minutes. All the other versions are short and well-paced. Here, it feels like an eternity before we get to the infamous prom scene.
The prom scene itself is terrible. After an hour and 40 minutes, I thought, alright, finally, maybe some carnage can redeem this a little. Nope, this was awfully tame and terrible. Nothing had any impact and most of the deaths seemed off-screen or implied. What a fucking joke.
People took a pile of flaming shit on the Chloe Grace Moretz adaption from 2013, but that was fucking Shaft compared to this garbage. There's nothing to recommend here, aside from a few ironic laughs.
1/10 Dans
Carrie is not currently available on Blu-ray or DVD in the UK
Watch the trailer below:
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