Review:
*Originally written April 12th, 2019*
It's impossible to talk about about this reboot of Hellboy without bringing up the fact this is a reboot no one asked for. The fans of the Del Toro Hellboy films (A series of films that have a cult and dedicated fanbase) wanted Hellboy 3, not a reboot. There's no way round that and it was a struggle to even watch this without the fond memories of how much better Del Toro's films were.
I try to go into films with an open mind. Even ones that have everything stacked against it, despite some less than great trailers, but some ace posters. I try to see the positives. Neil Marshall is an interesting choice of a director, helming some of Game of Thrones best episodes and responsible for some great cult horror films in The Descent and Dog Soldiers (One I need to rewatch). Then the pretty stacked cast with David Harbour in the lead role, Ian McShane as his father and Sasha Lane gave me a small glimmer of hope. These attempts at looking for the positives were sadly in vein as Hellboy is currently sitting as possibly the worst film I've seen in cinemas this year (The worst of the worst are currently reserved as Netflix Originals)
This is pretty much a disaster on all levels. A charmless bore of an action-horror that tries to riff off much better films without even trying to attempt what makes them great. There's clear shades of Guardians of the Galaxy with its poppy soundtrack and a tone that seems more akin to Deadpool with its sarcastic humour that tries so hard and grotesque gore.
Harbour certainly tries his best and is definitely a good choice for the role of Hellboy, as is Ian McShane as Hellboy's father. Both excellent actors who try their best with such horrific writing. Hellboy's grouchy, reluctant hero attitude is definitely there, but there is never a reason to care. His character jumps from decision to decision with no real motivation, I was honestly baffled by some of the choices made by his character. There's a point made about his being a freak among the people and wanting monsters to have the chance he had, but aside from a tantrum he throws, he never shows this with his actions. Especially in a truly terrible character turn at the end that just comes out of nowhere.
Then his relationship with Ian McShane is completely charmless and without any chemistry or heart that made the one between Ron Perlman's Hellboy and John Hurt so engaging. All they really do is argue while Hellboy throws a tantrum. It was so boring and repetitive to watch. They try and make this relationship a central part of the film, but it never works. It's just a waste of Ian McShane, which is a sin in itself.
Sasha Lane at least brings some character to her role with a character that I was worried might end up being like that awful female character in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom where everything was a snarky comment or cringe-inducing interaction that would make a 13 year old girl who still uses Tumblr go "That's so me", but thankfully that wasn't the case. She was actually one of the only characters that actually had any sort of motivation due to her past with Hellboy and her parents. A little more focus and involving her in the plot would have gone a long way.
One of the more worrying aspects of this was the casting of Milla Jovavich, an actress I genuinely believe has never been in a good film (Aside from Fifth Element, which I'm not even a big fan of). Unsurprisingly, she made for a damn awful villain, hamming up every scene she had by chewing through the scenery. I think she might have been the only one aware of the sort of film she was in, but hey, this is still probably one of the best films she's been in. Good for her! Plus as 90% of her character seemed to be CGI, she probably got to do very little for a solid paycheck. Think Cara Deleveigne in Suicide Squad.
Oh, and Daniel Dae Kim is here doing very little with a very predictable character-arc. He seems to have this sad effect of having supporting roles in and being so utterly forgettable, which is such a shame, as he was great in Lost, despite how trash that show got towards the end. I should rewatch Lost at some point.
A lot was made about how this was the "Edgier" and more violent reboot of Hellboy that commits to the gore and adult content of its comic. In all fairness, it does commit to this. There are some grotesque images and gore, especially towards the end as civilians are slaughtered and torn apart by some weird creature thing. Marshall clearly nails the idea in his head here, but the execution is less than desired. The gore looks cheap and ugly, as does most of the film.
Marshall was definitely restrained by a much lower budget than Del Toro's films and it shows. The trailers made a big showcase of those money shots of a flame-covered Hellboy holding a sword and riding a dragon, but in the film, those trailer shots are as much as you see. It's literally those two shots. It's kind of embarrassing how the trailer promised some gonzo action and insanity like that, but never commit to it in the film.
Aside from those few choice moments of gore and some admittedly great character designs (Some of the things are gross and looked awesome), the CGI is poor throughout. Making all of the action scenes feel lifeless and filmed on a green screen. Del Toro's films were a grand display of creative and gorgeous practical designs and action, rarely relying on overblown CGI, this is the exact opposite. The only moment the action has any sort of fluidity to it is a brief moment in the epilogue that lasts a minute and left me thinking "Where on earth was this for the past two hours?"
I didn't have any real hopes for Hellboy and unsurprisingly this is just a mess of a reboot. One that just made me yearn for another film by Del Toro or at the very least just want to watch the first two excellent films again. A charmless, lifeless and try-hard bore that has probably killed this franchise for good now and it's probably for the best. What a waste of a cast and concept. Cinema is dead.
3/10 Dans
Hellboy is out now in cinemas in the UK, with a 4K UHD Steelbook available to pre-order from Zavvi
Watch the trailer below:
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