Review:
*Originally written June 17th, 2019*
The Men in Black franchise has never been one of the best franchises in the world, but it sure as hell deserves better than this abysmal reboot/spin-off. This is just another generic, uninspired Hollywood film that forgets what made the original films watchable.
It lacks anything close to an identity, as it just steals parts of other franchise films in order to make something so forgettable, it's embarrassing. Every aspect of Men in Black: International just feels like it's from something else. It's got the ugly boring CGI of any other overblown summer film, the lame comedy from Marvel films aimed at 6 year-olds and even the incredibly overdone "Portal in the sky" finale that we've seen countless times for the past decade.
I will admit, I did have some mild faith in this. F. Gary Gray just directed the extremely entertaining Fate of the Furious and Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson worked together wonderfully in Thor: Ragnarok, so it seemed at the very least this would be an entertaining film with some creative action and two likeable leads.
It is not. Hemsworth lacks any kind of charm or charisma that he's known for, with a character so empty, uninspired and boring with quippy lines that do not land in the slightest. I can't believe his comedic chops were put to better use in the female led Ghostbusters reboot from a few years ago. Tessa Thompson on the other hand, fares a lot better, with a much more interesting character arc.
I was worried they were gonna rehash a lot from the original with her story-line by having her mirror the path Will Smith's Agent J went on, but instead she's someone who has spent her whole life looking to join the Men in Black after they failed to have her memory erased as a child. It least meant we didn't have to have this character go through all the same training we'd seen before, as she's instead shoved straight into action in the form of a mission to London and ends up partnering with Chris Hemsworth's Agent H.
From then on it just becomes a boring, generic and predictable story with twists that you'd have to be absolutely brain-dead to not see coming within the first half hour. I don't mind a predictable story, as long as there's something fun going on during it or it at least has interesting characters and creative action. International carries none of that. It all just feels like a painful chore.
Even Thompson and Hemsworth partnership lacks the chemistry we know they have based on Thor, so it was bizarre to see them work together in a way that lacked any sort of charm. They sorely lack anything close to Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones' heart and chemistry that carried the trilogy. Thinking about it know, I assume they were hired based on Ragnarok and then they just assumed it would work, but failed to write a script with any sort of wit or nuance that would suit them.
There's not even the incredible and practical creature designs from the first few films, it's just weightless and flat CGI that feels far too smooth and glossy. What made the originals so great is just how off-putting and weird these creature designs once were, it felt risky and weird to make something that would potentially put people off it. Here, it's just a lame attempt to make the appeal broader in order to obviously continue to branch out the series.
Not a single part of this film felt like it was made by people who actually cared about what they were making. It just feels like a checklist of what these big-budget summer films have as they check it off one by one without any sort of creative input or style. Men in Black 2 is not a great film by any means, but even that had far more going for it than this pathetic piece of garbage.
Men in Black: International is just Hollywood film-making at its worst, completely soulless, cynical and generic to the point I have no desire to see this series I grow up with continue. The last thing I'd expect to be from a Men in Black film is bored, but hey, 2019 continues to disappoint with their franchise films. I shouldn't have expected anything less.
3/10 Dans
Men in Black: International is out now in cinemas in the UK
Watch the trailer below:
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