Act of Valor (2012) - Blu-ray Review

Review:

*Originally written February 4th, 2016* 

Wow, that was bad, like really bad. This was the first time I'd seen this since release, and it was just as terrible and laughably bad as I remember. A deeply cynical and overbearing display of "Oorah" patriotism that makes war seem like a cool video game than a real series of horrific events. It's truly disturbing piece of film-making. 

It's possibly the closest we'll get to a Call of Duty movie right now, and that's not a compliment. Act of Valor is a joke of a film, I'm sure the Navy Seals are brave and dedicated people, but my god, they could not act their way through a school play. What a misguided choice it was to cast real Seals as the leads. Every line was horribly stilted and I couldn't just help but laugh a lot.

The script doesn't help either. Filled with terrible and cliche lines, there is truly awful and cringe worthy narration too, like I was rolling my eyes every time that guy spoke. There is a ton of cheese too. This is probably the first time I've seen a film where someone shouts "grenade!" and jumps on it in slow motion without it played for laughs. The irony is unbelievable. Also, a Seal with a pregnant wife at home? Did these fucking writers even try? That guy was dead the minute the line revealing that was written. Pathetic.

While there are some genuinely decent action beats, although the overuse of first person camera shots got on my nerves. It felt like watching someone else playing Call of Duty, Battlefield or whatever the fuck. That's fine in small doses, but it is so overplayed here. The action is played as "bad-ass" and "cool" too, it feels like a glorified advert for the marines, rather than showing the true horrors of war. Sure a few of the Seals die, but there's no real weight to any of this at all. Every bad guy is a faceless cardboard cutout just waiting to get gunned down in a blaze of glorified American patriotism. 


Act of Valor is complete and utter garbage on nearly front, poorly acted, terribly written and laughably bad. A stupid film for the ADD Call of Duty generation.

3/10 Dans

Act of Valor is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Predators (2010) - 4K Review

Review:

*Original written August 29th, 2018*

I remember being extremely excited by Predators when it was released, but disappointed I wasn't old enough to see it at cinemas. I'd always thought this was a huge improvement over Predator 2 and a big step down from the first, and it still is. I mean it's fine, there's a lot to love here and it's a huge step in the right direction after those awful AVP films, but it's still a bit of mess.

There's a cool idea at the centre of this and it shoves you right into it from opening second. A random group of dangerous humans from Earth are dropped onto an alien planet that the Predators are using as a hunting ground. It goes back to the simplistic jungle setting of the first and carries the tone right, there's a lot of homages to the original (One of the cast even carries a minigun). 

It's just one of those films that gets worse and worse as it goes on. It starts off extremely strong and eventually falls apart by the end. There's a bigger variety of Predators this time around and creatures they use as part of their hunt. I always remember this film looking quite ugly and digital, it might be the 4K transfer, but I really liked the look of it this time, the colours are a bit washed out, but the jungle looks gorgeous and the creature effects hold up pretty well, even the dog things looked way better than I remember.

My biggest problems with Predators are some of the casting. Adrien Brody is a fine actor, but he really doesn't work as an action hero. He tries to channel the ruthless hero with a gruff, Christian Bale doing Batman voice, but it just comes off as a bit shit. Plus the fact he did some silly method acting stuff for a role in a film like this. Then there's Laurence Fishburne who continues to just be the worst part of every genre film he's been in for the past decade, just brutally over the top pantomime acting that feels like its from a different film. He's the worst.

There is a decent mystery at the centre of this. You slowly learn more and more about the characters, leading to some effective reveals. Topher Grace's character in particular has the creepiest arc that makes more sense of rewatches. It's just a shame that this was clearly meant to be the start of a new chapter in the franchise and for whatever reason, starts a story that will never get finished. I'm not entirely sure why, as this got decent reviews and was financially successful. 

Most of the cast are much like the first film, one note, but kinda memorable. There are complete cannon fodder, but play their parts exactly how you'd expect. Walton Goggins is the racist hillbilly (When is he not) and Danny Trejo is the gruff Mexican. I know I'm not here for a character study piece, but maybe spending a bit more time with characters before slaughtering them could have helped. Stretching the run-time a little more could have helped.


Predators doesn't live up to the original, but it's a big improvement over the second. It could do with a lot of fixing up, but for the most part, Predators is a pretty fun 100 minutes and a decent little stop before what turns out to be a hopefully excellent Predator reboot/sequel from Shane Black.

6/10 Dans

Predators is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD now in the UK
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Predator 2 (1990) - 4K Review

Review:

*Originally written August 29th, 2018*

I've never really got on with Predator 2 and that hasn't changed here. I appreciate them trying to change the scenery up by taking The Predator to the concrete jungle of Los Angeles compared to the actual jungle, but it just doesn't work, making for something that just feels a bit off. The lack of Arnie is a bit of a killer too, even though his replacement Danny Glover is merely fine.

I always forget the weird and deranged futuristic Los Angeles this takes place in. It almost feels like a bad Sci-Fi Channel film at times, everyone has ridiculous over the top weaponry (Glover's red dot sight pistol is ugly and lame to look at) and the different gang members throughout the city are pretty cringe and lack any sort of menace. 

It does feel very '90s, compared to the '80s'ness of the first. It's a bit grimy and ugly to look at, especially when looking at the gorgeous jungles of the first. The 4K does at least make things a little nicer to look at, as the textures pop a bit more and the neon colours are much deeper, especially the night scenes, where most of the film takes place. Predator 2 has always been an uglier film, but this at the very least the prettiest it's ever been.

I do always forget how nasty and violent this is compared to the first. The first was violent, but this one takes thing up a notch. Maybe due to the gritty aesthetic, it gives it a darker edge. I saw this was originally rated NC-17 in America before cuts, so I'm interested to find out if the uncut version is available at all. There's the usually stuff you'd expect from a predator film, people are skinned, blown up and torn apart, and it is quite grizzly, even by today's standard. Luckily, there is nothing as nasty or horrible as the pregnant lady scene from Alien vs Predator: Requiem.

While Danny Glover is in no way a stand in for Arnie, he does fine. He barely feels any different from his Lethal Weapon character. He dresses the same, he's an ageing cop and has the same attitude. I was expecting him to say "I'm too old for this shit" at some point, but that sadly never happened. The highlight of the cast is easily Gary Busey, in his first role after his motorbike accident, and he's easily the best part, the film actually comes alive and feels fun when he's on screen.

My biggest problem with Predator 2 is just how dull it all feels. The action is bigger and it carries a more expensive budget, but it never catches the fun of the first and mostly just rehashes a lot of stuff, making for an action film that is competent, but ultimately kinda boring. I pin a lot of this in shoving The Predator in the city, it just doesn't work and I was they'd gone in a different direction. 

There is a cool nod to the Alien franchise that most people know about by now. The Alien skull is in the Predator's trophy room towards the end, which was a hint that Fox were working on Alien vs Predator, but it ended up taking 14 years to come to fruition, leaving the Predator franchise dormant. But in all honesty, Alien vs Predator makes Predator 2 look like goddamn Die Hard. 


Predator 2 is what it is, a '90s sequel to an '80s action classic that doubles down on action and violence, but just feels like a soulless sequel that never manages to come close to the greatness of the original, despite a few moments of watchable grizzly action.

5/10 Dans

Predator 2 is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Predator (1987) - 4K Review

Review:

*Originally written August 29th, 2018*

With Shane Black's The Predator out in a couple of weeks, I thought I'd go through the original Predator trilogy again. Timing worked out that they were just released on 4K and I just my new TV, so everything worked out okay. I will not being watching the AVP films though. I watched them both last year, and I have no desire to go back to them for a long time. 

Predator is a film of its time, a macho cheese fest of one liners and '80s action. They really don't make them like this anymore, and I miss that. It's the simplest of stories, a group of special forces soldiers are hunted in the jungle by an alien, and that's that. There's so overbearing subplots or anything overstretched. It runs with that story for a lean and mean 100 minutes. 

The Predator itself is a fine creation, the ultimate hunting machine that uses thermal vision (But, there are little hints it has more special visions that we see in later films). I always liked how nasty the Predator is, he decimates people, skins them and hangs them up. Making for some really gruesome imagery. While some of the CGI doesn't hold up, all of the practical stuff is awesome and the Predator's array of weaponry is cool and still iconic today.

It also features the manliest handshake ever committed to film. Arnie and Carl Weather's open bro-shake is now deeply rooted in memes, but it is still a sight to see. I was surprised at how much smaller Arnie looks compared to Commando which came out the year before, but I read online he lost a lot of weight to appear more like a real soldier, but he is still truly a gorgeous specimen of a man. I know Arnie isn't the best of actors, but he carries the film purely on his charisma and build. 

The rest of soldiers are fine too. They all play their part and have good chemistry with each other. Something the upcoming Predator film is clearly trying to recreate based on the trailers, but it all works. They're a variety of archetypes and clear inventions of the '80s. I'd argue that I never felt anything for any of them as they're slaughtered by The Predator, but it doesn't make it any less fun.

The biggest investment is easily in Arnie's character Dutch, who has sadly yet to resurface for any of the sequels. All the strongest stuff is towards the end, where it is just Dutch vs The Predator. There's some really cool and creative moments, especially the scene where Arnie covers his gorgeous body in cold mud to hide from The Predator's thermal vision. The Predator's laugh at the end is a bit weird and off, but you gotta give some leeway for an intergalactic alien that has a fucked up mouth and goes from planet to planet hunting their most dangerous species.

The previous releases of Predator have suffered serious transfer issues. The Blu-ray I own has the awful DNR effect that makes everything look like they're made of wax, but thankfully in this 4K transfer, Predator has never looked better. It suffers some issues in the nighttime scenes, but the day scenes are vibrant, colourful and loaded with detail. This is the first back catalogue 4K I've seen and it's great to see they're doing a wonderful job with remastering their releases. 


Predator is by far the best of the franchise so far, a perfectly entertaining '80s action slasher that displays Arnie's charisma and action chops while delivering practical and extremely entertaining action. God, I wish they still made films like this. 

8/10 Dans

Predator is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD now in the UK
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American Animals (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written August 29th, 2018*

Going into this I wasn't sure what to expect, I'd not seen a single trailer for it and I had no idea what the plot was. Literally, the only information I had was that Evan Peters was in it and there was a lot of positive buzz, which is sometimes the best way to go into something. I was so pleasantly surprised when I started to realise this was going to be a heist film. Sadly though, while this is a decent enough time, I was a bit disappointed. 

American Animals is based on a true story of 4 students who decide to rob the university's library of their rarest books. There is an odd structure to the film that really disrupts the pacing. It constantly cuts back to real interviews with the actual people from the events, giving it a Netflix'ish true crime feel, but it never truly meshes well, making these scenes feel more distracting than insightful.

The best stuff here is easily the characters struggling with their real lives and their repercussions and anxiety about the heist. There's a big deal made about having to take out the elderly woman overseeing the books, which all of the team are uneasy about, despite the constant claims that no one will get hurt. It's an interesting piece of reflection and morality that I wish the film explored more, it spends a lot of time with it, but it really could have gone deeper.

Of the 4 students doing the heist, the only 2 that get real depth are Evan Peters and Barry Keoghan. Peters character being the rebellious one who is only doing his scholarship to please his family. In all honesty, Peters gives a rather excellent performance and by far the best I've seen from him. He's an actor with so much potential, but his career is mostly wasted in that tacky horror show American Horror Story, this guy needs to break out into real films pronto. Keoghan is also decent, not as strong as he was in The Killing of a Sacred Deer, but he's fine. All the other characters feel like an afterthought. 


The heist itself is mostly gripping and tense and things go worse and worse for the characters, despite the small scale of the crime. There is a lot of build up to the heist and I appreciate that, I just wish I had more fun with this, it was just lacking in something and I just can't put my finger on it. I think I might enjoy this more on a rewatch, but for now, American Animals is just a merely decent crime thriller.

6/10 Dans

American Animals is out September 7th in cinemas in the UK

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BlacKkKlansman (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written August 29th, 2018*

Spike Lee is a director I'm not the most familiar with, I've seen his least critically acclaimed films, the average American remake of Oldboy and the decent (From what I remember) Inside Man, I've yet to see his truly great films, Malcolm X and Do the Right Thing. I went into this with quite high expectations and I was not disappointed. BlacKkKlansman is an angry, angry provocative work of art and possibly the most important film of the year. I left the screening with that same cold feeling of silence I got after seeing Detroit last year.

The story is a fascinating one. A young black cop Ron Stallworth (John David Washington, son of Denzel) goes undercover in the Ku Klux Klan, despite his race. It's an engrossing ride from start to finish and one of the most interesting undercover cop films I've seen in quite some time. Every scene is either tense or has something interesting going on in it, but I was surprised at how genuinely funny it could be at times. Stallworth's phone conversations with David Duke (The Grand Wizard of the KKK) are some of the funniest things I've watched in a while and has a wonderful payoff in the end.

Obviously with Stallworth being black, they have to send in a white cop for the face to face stuff, which leads to some really tense moments. Adam Driver does a wonderful job in these moments and he really is one of the best actors of our generation, I just wish his character had more of an arc, he's more just a tool of the investigation than a real character, which is fine, as this film is more or less all Washington's story. And he puts in an amazing performance, equal parts charming, genuine and cocky, he really lives up to his father's legacy and even has his voice.

What's sad about BlacKkKlansman is just how relevant it is, despite the events happening over 30 years ago. There's a lot of references to Trump's America that fit in well and feel organic while giving the film a real emotional punch. A scene that cuts between a KKK meeting and a Black Power meeting is truly one of the best scenes of the year and the final credit montage is one of ballsiest and powerful endings I can think of. I just did not expect it, but it knocked me down a punch.

Lee really captures the time too, it's filled with references and soul music from the time. There's a little moment where Stallworth and his girlfriend are debating blacksplotation films of the day and it really made me realise I need to check out more of that stuff. Oh, and the clothes and hairstyles are just a joy to look at. We need a resurgence of those in real life.

A lot of what make BlacKkKlansman work is how real it feels. I know it's based on a true story, but I was a little worried they'd do something like turn the KKK into cartoony racists that just say the N word a lot, but they don't. These white supremacists feel like real people and that's a lot scarier. The stuff they say is horrifying and truly awful, it makes me sick that people like this exist. That there are people that believe black people are actually sub-human and that the Holocaust never happened. 


BlacKkKlansman is truly amazing, one of the angriest, political films of the year with excellent performances from everyone and a deep engaging story that leaves you devastated by the end. Fuck racism.

9/10 Dans

BlacKkKlansman is out now in cinemas in the UK
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The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written August 29th, 2018*

Urgh, I went into this with at least the expectation of a throwaway, but entertaining action-comedy like last years The Hitman's Bodyguard, but I didn't even get that. What I got instead was a pretty unbearable two hours that felt like three. A completely forgettable and eye-rollingly bad comedy. 

I just don't know where to begin with this. Everything is just so plain, safe and boring about this. It's another adult rated spy comedy that is clearly trying to be a good time, but just comes off as boring. I'm usually a fan of Mila Kunis, so I was shocked to find myself wishing I was watching either of the Bad Moms films instead during the run-time. The only moment of real enjoyment I got out of this was Kunis playing Point Blank on an arcade machine. The Point Blank light shooter games are something me and my sister used to play on PS1 all the time and they are so underappreciated, so it was weird to see it pop up out of nowhere in this film. 

You could argue that Kate McKinnon and Kunis have decent enough chemistry together here, but it's always undercut by McKinnon just being utterly annoying. I remember McKinnon being one of the better parts of Ghostbusters (2016). Here she is in nearly every scene and she is grating. I came to the shocking revelation that she's the female equivalent to Jim Carey at his worst. Annoying, overbearing and filled with so many punchable facial expressions. It felt like an endurance test at times. It's also shame that 90% of the conversations between the two female leads is just talking about men.

McKinnon aside, all the other comedy completely fails. I didn't laugh once. It's a complete mess of tone. One moment we get some crude joke and some cock and balls thrown in our face, the next we've got our lead characters cracking jokes are an innocent Uber driver is shot in the head next to them. It was bizarre, these characters are put in this situations where innocent people are murdered in front of them and they just joke about it. It all felt so mean-spirited and made Kunis and McKinnon so unlikable. 

As a spy film it goes exactly where you'd expect. Every reveal and twist is in your face from the get-go and it goes on and it. This film in no way earns its 2 hour run-time. This could have been so much more bearable with a leaner 90 minutes. So much of this is just annoying overlong filler. I just wanted it to end. 

There are at least some decent action scenes here and there, it's a little frantic, but the ideas are there and I did appreciate how messy some of the violence was. Usually the deaths in these sorts of comedies are pretty clean overlooked. Here, it is messy and bloody. The aftermath of a restaurant massacre made for a more disturbing moment than funny. Just seeing the place covered in blood and dead bodies was just so off. I really don't know what they were going for here. 


If you like shit comedies and enjoy Kate McKinnon you might have a better time than I did with The Spy Who Dumped Me, but for me, this was just a painful and boring chore to get through. I only saw it yesterday and most of it has left my mind already, so that's probably for the best.

3/10 Dans

The Spy Who Dumped Me is out now in cinemas in the UK
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