Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) - Blu-ray Review

Review:

*Originally written September 5th, 2018*

Well, that was disappointing. I'm seeing glowing reviews all over the place for this thing and I just left it feeling cold and disgusted (Which I assume was the intention. As is far from an easy watch). Salo has a reputation as one of the most horrific and grotesque films ever made, and while this is probably true, I found myself mostly just bored and disinterested most of the time. I might just be so desensitised to content like this, but aside from a few moments, I found it kinda... tame?

I'm just having trouble trying to wrap my head around this. The story is so thread bare. A group of 18 teenagers (9 girls, 9 boys) are kidnapped by some rich Italians and force into 120 days of extreme sexual torture and humiliation during World War 2. It's nasty and unpleasant, but it lacks any kind of lead or anyone to hold on to. None of the characters are anything. I can't even remember a single name (If they even did get named).

I give it props for its experimentation and willingness to push boundaries. It's just whatever the film was going for was completely lost on me. I get that fascism is evil. It's at least beautifully shot and filled with great production design. This film has really broken me, even with the forgettable characters, the performances are universally awful. The bad guys are all so over the top and cartoony, although the look of them has an unsettling edge to them.


I don't know, it was Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom. Experimental art-house horror from Italy that did so little for me. I appreciate it you do like this but, for the experience was lost on me. Will probably revisit at some point.... I am glad I watched this though. It's still interesting to see films that push boundaries and what not, even with how tame I felt it was by today's standards.

2/10 Dans

Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Aliens vs Predator: Requiem (2007) - Blu-ray Review

Review:

*Originally written January 2nd, 2017*

I don't know how you manage to fuck up a concept as fun as two of the most famous aliens in cinema history going to war with each other? And I don't know how you managed to fuck it up twice? All they seemed to learn from the first one is that it "Needed more gore", so they added a lot in this to make a nasty, mean-spirited film that is more disgusting than fun.

Every character is awful and the cast seems to be led entirely by TV actors. We have Michelle from 24, Half-Sack from Sons of Anarchy, Rickety Cricket from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and that guy from True Blood. The performances are serviceable for what this is, but every character is either annoying, one-note or obnoxious. I cannot think of a single memorable character in this shit heap.

In a film about Aliens vs Predators, is there any fun action? I honestly could not tell you. Every scene seems to be shot in unwatchable pitch-black. Who on Earth thought it would be a good idea to the entire last hour in such a way you couldn't tell what was happening? Did they just leave the lens cap on and keep the footage anyway? It would not surprise me if that happened.

Requiem at least ditches the PG-13 rating of the first and goes back to the roots of the R-rated mayhem of the respective franchises, but they go too far with it. There was nothing enjoyable or fun about seeing some random kid get a chestburster early on. Even worse, in a later scene, which is the most disgusting and horrible moment of this whole mess, a pregnant woman is implanted with alien eggs until they hatch and explode out her stomach, killing her unborn child. It was just nasty and served no purpose.

I'm not entirely sure what the story here was? Since the Alien or Predators have no dialogue, it just seems like they're fight in thrown in the middle of some small hick town melodrama which was not interesting in the least. All the different characters have boring side-plots that all end with them meeting up once the creatures start killing people.

I also looked up the meaning of the word "Requiem" and this is what I found: 
1. A Mass for the repose of the souls of the dead.
2. a musical composition setting parts of a requiem Mass, or of a similar character.
3. an act or token of remembrance.

What the hell did any of those have to do with this film? I'm pretty sure a producer just thought it sounded cool and added it as the subtitle without any further thought. God, this was a mess. I'm even complaining about the title. 

Please reboot the Alien Vs Predator franchise with a decent team behind it. There is a lot of potential here with two huge and expanded universes to explore, and this is what we get? The fuck, man.

2/10 Dans

Aliens vs Predator: Requiem is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) - Blu-ray Review

Review:

*Originally written September 5th, 2018*

There is so very little to cover with Four Weddings and a Funeral, so I'll keep it brief. It's your typical Richard Curtis affair, we've got the quirky British comedy, unearned sentimentality and Hugh Grant just being absolutely charming.

Richard Curtis is just such an awful writer, but there's something about his work that just keeps me coming back to it. This is one of the last of his films I had yet to see (With only The Boat that Rocked left to go). I can't quite put my finger on it. There just such easy watching, lowest of the low and easy to watch films.

It doesn't help that I find Hugh Grant just immensely charming either. He a borderline anime actor that is just the peak of British awkwardness, but every second he's on screen, I just eat it up. I don't understand. Help me, please. I know I'm better than enjoying tripe like this.

While it barely earns its 2 hour run time, there are some genuinely funny moments littered throughout and a lot of jokes that do not hit at all. I don't know, I need to rethink my life. I wish Richard Curtis made films more frequently. Shit, his next film is going to be directed by Danny Boyle. What the hell is going on? I also forgot this was from the director of Donnie Brasco. What?

The biggest shock I got from Four Weddings is the use of the line "Fuck-a-doodle-do" which I'd always associated with Shaun of the Dead, but I guess it came from this. I don't know how to process this. Richard Curtis has scrambled my brain. God bless you, Curtis. You absolute maniac of a writer with one of the most punchable faces I've ever seen. Never change.

"If you write a story about a soldier going AWOL and kidnapping a pregnant woman and finally shooting her in the head, it's called searingly realistic, even though it's never happened in the history of mankind. Whereas if you write about two people falling in love, which happens about a million times a day all over the world, for some reason or another, you're accused of writing something unrealistic and sentimental." Richard Curtis

If you needed anymore proof that Richard Curtis is an utter maniac, just read that quote above again.

6/10 Dans

Four Weddings and a Funeral is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK

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Searching (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written September 4th, 2018*

Wow, this came out of nowhere. I'd never heard any buzz for this or even heard of it, then last week I saw the Internet going crazy for it and I was lucky enough to have it show near me (My cinema is notorious for not showing films that cost less than $50 million to make without Oscar buzz), The only other film of this gimmick I've seen was Unfriended, which I was not keen on at all. Thankfully, this type of film lent itself to thriller much better than horror.

The mystery at the centre of Searching is instantly engaging and breezes by. We're given a surprisingly touching and effective montage at the beginning, which I'd usually call out for being emotionally manipulative, but it worked for me. It helps that John Cho's performance is consistently excellent throughout.  I had some reservations about Cho's character being a bit overbearing towards his daughter, but then I remembered the opening montage and how he acted made sense.

If you didn't know, Searching tells its entire story through computer screens, online chats and videos etc. It's something that could fall apart and take you out the film instantly, but director Anseesh Chaganty does an incredible job keeping audiences involved. If you have any nostalgia for Windows XP, then you might just cream your pants at this. Everything feels real an authentic. Some of the way people talk might be a bit cringe, but it actually feels more in touch with today's teens and behaviour than I usually see in film.

The stuff I loved the most was the Internet's reaction to the daughter going missing. They instantly attack with memes, accusations the father clearly did it and false  claims of sympathy in order to get likes. I don't know why, but I recently took a week long deep dive into Madeleine McCann case and the universal opinion is that the parents did it. This would be fine, I completely agree, but the problem is, a lot of these people have made that claim without looking at any of facts of the case, they're just assuming. Which is what happens here. Seeing a character who know is innocent getting slated by the Internet isn't nice to see, but we all know the Internet is a nasty and horrible place.

As much as I loved Searching, I just can't see myself aching to watch it again anytime soon. There's not really a lot to dig out and look for from a rewatch, which is due to the film wrapping itself up in a quite silly and over the top series of reveals which feels completely out of touch with the realistic tone the film went for the first 80 minutes or so. It would have been harder to watch, but a much more believable and bleak ending could have gone a lot further than what we go.


Searching is gimmick film making at its best. It may stumble towards the end, but up until that point it delivers an engrossing and compelling mystery that takes a relevant and believable look at the Internet and social media. 

8/10 Dans

Searching is out now in cinemas in the UK
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A Quiet Place (2018) - 4K Review

Review:

*Originally written September 2nd, 2018*

Wow, John Krasinski is a real far cry away from his role in the remarkably overrated US remake of The Office. Both in front and behind the camera, he looks to be a talent worth getting excited for. He crafted an excellent little genre film that fully commits to its premise and runs with it.

For a film that has so little dialogue, I'm amazed it was as popular as it has been. I loved the reliance on sign language visual ques, which is fine by me as I watch everything with subtitles anyway, but I can imagine turning off mainstream audiences. Even without much dialogue, there is a ton of characterisation within the lead family. Despite not even learning their names, they are instantly likeable and easy to root for. 

Even the child casting is solid, none of the children are annoying or over the top, or do the Richard Curtis thing where the kids are punchably smart and smug for their age. Krasinski and Emily Blunt absolutely own the screen, delivering subtle performances that really pack an emotional punch towards the end. I was a huge fan of Krasinski's Logan like look in the third act.

Outside of his performance, Krasinski pulls every bit of tension he can out of the concept. While the creatures themselves are a disappointing work of CGI (I really wish they kept it more practical), they definitely establish how dangerous they are with a very surprising and shocking scene in the first ten minutes. A film that depends on silence absolutely makes for insane tension, you're constantly on edge whenever something minor happens. It's oddly genius, but simple. See this in the quietest environment you can for maximum effect. 

It's also an extremely gorgeous film with a rich colour palette and natural lighting that makes for a beautiful film to look at, which I usually find rare for horror films. It shows that even smaller budget films can look 100x better than ones that cost hundreds of millions to make.

The only major complaint with A Quiet Place is the odd and completely misguided plot reveal early on that completely derails the entire concept. We know early on that Emily Blunt's character is pregnant and we know why these parents would want another kid, but it makes absolutely no sense why they would try in this environment. There's just no part of my brain that can comprehend why these characters would make such a stupid decision. 

Due to the huge and unexpected popularity of this, a sequel has obviously been announced (With Krasinski returning in a creative capacity), but it doesn't really need it. The film outs with a brilliant shot teases a sequel, but in that horror film way, you know exactly what it implies and where it is going, so you don't need to show it. Who knows, maybe Krasinski has something genius up his sleeve. I'm cautiously optimistic.


A Quiet Place is fantastic, a near perfectly executed genre film and one of the best of the year. Excellently directed with great performances all around. There is very little not to recommend with A Quiet Place. And it's also less than 90 minutes long and manages to achieve everything it wants to do within that short run-time. Cinema is alive.

9/10 Dans

A Quiet Place is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD now in the UK. With a 4K steelbook available from HMV
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Batman Begins (2005) - 4K Review

Review:

*Originally written September 1st, 2018*

It always feels weird going back to Batman Begins, the reboot of the Batman franchise after Batman & Robin murdered it for 7 years. It paved the way for so many superhero films today, with many directors also trying to apply the vibe of this to many different genres. It's not perfect, and it doesn't hold up as well as I'd like, but Batman Begins is still an excellent comic-book film that delves into the character more than anyone of the films before it.

A big problem with Batman Begins isn't even the film's fault, but the fact is, it is completely overshadowed by The Dark Knight. While obviously that wouldn't exist without Batman Begins and this paves the way for the greatness to come, you just know potential Christopher Nolan has under his sleeve that he wasn't able to unleash until the sequel.

Part of me wants to call Batman Begins safe, which is it by today's standard of comic-book films. It captures a wonderfully dark and gritty tone, delving more towards crime-drama that cartoony superhero flick. Gotham is Chicago, but a dark, fully realised and hellish version of the city that feels real and alive. Much more so than Burton's take on the city.

Christian Bale does get a lot of flack for his "Bat voice", which is understandable, but I forgot how restrained it felt in this, compared to the borderline parody it becomes in The Dark Knight Rises. He carries the role extremely well, especially in the moments as Bruce Wayne, but part of me feels the character would have benefited greatly from him playing it as Patrick Bateman. 

After the stream of Marvel films I've been watching lately, this did feel like a breath of fresh air. It actually feels and looks like a film. It retains the grain and doesn't feel overly polished and shiny. I'd always found the Blu-ray release of this to be ugly too, but the 4K is absolutely gorgeous, the amount of detail retained in all the darkest scenes is damn impressive and my god, those oily blacks look great in UHD. 

Superhero films suffer a lot from the villain problem, which is something DC has always been able to top Marvel over. It's been 13 years now, so it's not a spoiler, but Liam Neeson's Ra's al Ghul is great. His plan is very comic-book, but it's just not silly enough to break away  from tone. A lot of people have a problem with his death scene and how it breaks Batman's rules on killing, but it worked for me and I always found his no-killing policy utterly nonsensical anyway.

Batman's no killing rule also creates a very problematic and overlooked scene early on. In which he refuses to kill a thief in front of the League of Shadows, but then goes on to accidentally kill all of them and the thief... I'm still trying to wrap my head around that scene. Was it a moment showing how under trained Bruce was and was just winging it with disastrous? Or was it a severe oversight in the screenplay? Either way, Bruce does not seem to care he'd murdered a dozen men by mistake and it is never mentioned again. Weird.

I'm also surprised at the lack of action there is in this. The only real highlight being the Batmobile chase. I do always appreciate the amount of practical stuff that went into the making of this trilogy, keeping CGI to a minimum. Everything feels natural, unlike the later Batman antics shown in the Snyder films. I also kinda like the clunkiness of Batman's combat. He doesn't feel smooth like he does in say the Arkham games, it feels messy. 

My biggest gripe with Batman Begins is Katie Holmes who is absolutely awful as Rachel Dawes, thank god she was replaced by Maggie Gyllenhaal. I feel bad picking on one actress out of a cast of people who did universally excellent, but my god, she sticks out badly.


Batman Begins might hit a few beats we are massively familiar with now, but it still holds up for the most part, paving way for all the dark and gritty superhero films we could ask for. A pretty excellent start to this trilogy.

8/10 Dans

Batman Begins is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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The Incredible Hulk (2008) - 4K Review

Review:

*Originally written September 1st, 2018*

I know The Incredible Hulk gets a lot of flack for its quality and it has more or less been forgotten in the overall run of the MCU and it's not hard to see why, but in all honesty, it's just a remarkably okay entry. It's no less aggressively mediocre than the first Avengers film, Ant-Man and the Wasp and Iron Man 2 or a bunch of the other 3 star entries of the MCU. 

It's all just by the numbers and competent. It's a huge step down from the first Iron Man in terms of freshness, but it still has its merits. Edward Norton makes for a great Bruce Banner, he lacks the goofy charm Ruffalo later brings to the role, but Norton goes for something different and a bit more serious and I was okay with that.

My biggest gripe is that studios don't seem to know what to do with The Hulk in his own film. I have very little memory of Ang Lee's Hulk, but I remember that being truly awful. This reboot covers a lot of ground we already know and have seen in countless other comic-book  films. Guy with powers is on the run from the government while not being being to be with the woman he loves, while ironically her father is the man hunting him. It's all just fine. 

It's always fun to see the Hulk smash shit up and while the CGI on The Hulk himself hasn't aged massively well, it's still enjoyable chaos with some memorable bursts of action. One could argue Hulk looks too much like Daddy Shrek, but this is definitely not a problem for me.

There's also the annoying superhero film trope of the villain having the same powers as the hero and using them for evil, which is exactly what happens here. Tim Roth is a fine actor, highly underrated even and while it was somewhat of a joy to see him ham it up outrageously, when he actually turns into abomination, I had unfortunate flashbacks to Doomsday in Batman vs Superman. Which is also an ugly, cave troll looking piece of CGI. That said, I wish they would have brought Roth back in the MCU at some point, but I can confidently assume that will never happen now.

Some of more minor things I liked here are a few little moments. There were some nice moments between Banner and Betty Rose, even if she is another one of the MCU's disposable love interests that are nothing less than an afterthought. They really need to work on that. Then there's the heart rate monitor watch that Banner uses to stop himself becoming the Hulk. It might be a bit of a cheap move that maybe simplifies his change a bit much, but I don't know, I thought it was a nice touch.


There's not really a lot else to say here, The Incredible Hulk probably deserves the hate it receives, but I kinda like it, it's remarkably watchable and does very little in the way of interesting, but in terms of the MCU, it's just another watchable, if forgettable entry. Universal and Disney need to sort out the rights issues so at least one of them can make another solo Hulk film again.

6/10 Dans

The Incredible Hulk is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD now in the UK
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