Cars 3 (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written October 16th, 2017*

"Kachow! Kill me." 

I remember being kind of excited for Cars 3 when that initial teaser trailer was released, then they released the full trailer and it was more or less exactly what I was expecting the film to be. I'm just really not a fan of the Cars franchise (2 is one of the worst animated films I've ever seen), that said, Cars 3 is by far the best in the franchise, while still being aggressively mediocre.

I appreciate what they tried to do. An older Lightning McQueen finally accepting he's just not that good a racer anymore. It's a plot more suited to an adult existential drama. What does a Car do when he can't race anymore? It's not really a question that's explored any further or done that well. This is no animated Rocky Balboa that's for sure.

My criticism of this is a hard one to explain. This is first and foremost a kids film made to sell toys to young and impressionable children. So any expectation of something more would be ludicrous, but then I remember the rest of Pixar's excellent output and realise, actually, year, these kids films can be meaningful and sweet while being a piece of the Disney machine of consumerism. 

I'd be fine with these films if I felt something towards these characters or even found them funny. Maybe I'm just getting old, but I just found this a chore to sit through. So much so that not even the insanely good animation could make these entertaining. Honestly, Pixar's animators are topping themselves every year. I just wish this series would have had better writers. 

It's hard to say if we'll ever get a Cars 4. I know Cars 3 really under performed, but I imagine it made more than enough in merchandise sales to continue the series. I'll watch it, but it needs a serious overhaul. Lightning McQueen can't be the focus of the next film. His story is done now. He'll need to be reduced to a minor character while it makes way for a new racer. 

I don't even want to begin to talk about the bizarre and insane world Cars exists even and the questions that's raised. It's been talked about to death. It''s just.... fucked.


Whatever, that's Car 3, it.. it was what it was. The best film in Pixar's worst franchise. It's got stellar animation and effects, but it's extremely rusty on plot and character. This really feels like nothing but an obligation rather than a film made to entertain children and adults alike.

5/10 Dans

Cars 3 does not currently have a release date in the UK for its 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD
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Fast and Furious 7 (2015) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written December 11th, 2015*

"Pure Nonsense"

"Fuck it" must have been a phrased very overused when writing the script for the seventh (Yes, seventh) entry in the increasingly interesting blockbuster franchise. I really doubt anyone who saw the original Point Break knock-off in 2001 would have ever thought this series would be breaking the billion dollar mark and not just be making a seventh entry, but the seventh being the best of the whole lot.

James Wan (Saw, Death Sentence) takes over the director's chair from Justin Lin with a story that is just complete nonsense. Jason Statham plays the brother of the bad guy from the last film and he wants revenge, so Vin Diesel and his team of superheroes(?!) go on the offensive to take him down.

There's also some silly stuff about a government weapon that can locate anyone in the world that takes the crew on a globetrotting adventure with increasingly chaotic results.

While I think the first 4 films in this franchise suck (That said, I still have yet to see Tokyo Drift), they really found themselves when they introduced The Rock and ditched the street racing bollocks for a straight-forward heist film and the sequels all just lean towards action. 

And in terms of action, Furious 7 knocks it out of the park again with some truly absurd set-pieces. Driving cars out of skyscrapers, parachuting cars, levelling the streets of L.A. and of course the Jason Statham beating The Rock in a hand to hand fight. It is all crazy stuff that is a far cry from what the series started as, and for that, it is all that much better. These characters have all become invulnerable superheroes, the stuff they survive would kill any of the Avengers. 

Also, after spending 7 films with all these characters, you start to kinda like them? Maybe it's Stockholm syndrome or just the fact the barbarically lame jokes were cut down for this one, but I seem to enjoy spending time with these characters, they have a good and likeable dynamic by this point. It's a shame that The Rock was cut down to about 3 scenes this time around, but when he's on, he steals the show with his always perfect charisma.

We also get the new bad guy with Jason Statham. Who was just fine, he does his usual Statham thing, although it was nice to see him as a full-blown villain for once. There is no depth to his character at all, he is just a complete revenge machine, which in all honesty, I enjoyed. I did find it funny that the crew wanted to use this "all seeing eye" government weapon in order to find him, but during nearly every set-piece he shows up to try and kill them anyway, kinda making that whole side plot a bit pointless?

Of course, there is the Paul Walker situation (He died in a car crash during the production of the film), which you all know about, and it was handled remarkably well. The tribute at the end is surprisingly touching and the CGI isn't distracting at all. It will feel weird without him in the next one, but they handled his exit with grace and in a way that would have made me cry if I had anything close to resembling a soul.

Fast and Furious 7 or Furious 7, is exactly what it tries to be and knows what it is, making it a hugely entertaining action film with some truly mental set-pieces and even has a surprising heart at the centre of it. I know there are 3 more of these films planned before the franchise (maybe) calls it quits, but screw it, I say bring it on. I cannot wait to see how they top the madness on display here.

8/10 Dans

Fast and Furious 7 is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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The Fast and Furious (2001) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written January 2nd, 2016*

"Live life a quarter mile at a time" Whatever that means.

It's always interesting to go back and watch films you loved from your childhood only to find out they are quite terrible. The most fascinating thing about The Fast and Furious is just how different it is from the later sequels, it's much more grounded and toned down, but also quite lame and cheesy.

The story is a complete knock-off of Point Break. Paul Walker plays a cop who goes undercover to take down Vin Diesel's street racing circuit, but finds himself getting in way too deep with the people he is meant to be taking down.

It's simple stuff that just reeked of '90s cheese, complete with awful and outdated CGI. Although some of the later action scenes like the truck heist at the end were pretty solid. It's probably unfair to compare the action to the creativity of the later films, but this first entry just feels really uninspired. The editing also feels so outdated and they try and make some of the scenes seem dramatic, but the execution is laughable and cringe worthy at best.

While they try and make you care about these characters to tell a story that is nowhere near as engaging as similar films, it fails dramatically. I haven't seen this in years and I remember next to nothing about it. It feels like one of those films that should have faded into obscurity, but somehow didn't and is now part of a billion dollar franchise.

Tonally it is different from any of the others too, this one feels far more gritty and violent and there's a few more f-bombs too. When people get shot they get a large bloody wound on them and actually get hurt in car crashes, a far cry from the superheroes they are today.

I guess this is the film that made stars of Vin Diesel and Paul Walker too. They are both terrible. 
 Maybe terrible is harsh, Walker isn't bad exactly, but he really was quite bland. Then we had Diesel, who doesn't do much other than try and sound serious with his 'milk bubble' voice. It was just so bad.

The Fast and Furious is far more interesting to watch ironically and to see where this series started, but it really isn't good at all. I don't even like Point Break, but I'd just say watch that instead.

4/10 Dans

The Fast and Furious is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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