Yardie (2018) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written September 12th, 2018*

This is a hard one to talk about, part of me was really interested to see how Idris Elba would hold up as a director and to my memory, I don't think I've ever seen a crime film based entirely within Jamaican culture. There is so much potential here that is sadly wasted with Elba's muddled direction and just plainly generic storytelling.

This is looking to be one of the most forgettable films of the year. The story is one just so generic and plain. A boy goes into the life of crime after seeing his brother assassinated and ends up in a decade long journey before avenging him. It borrows a lot from much better films, there's a slice of Goodfellas in there, a pinch of City of God and then the ugly feeling of a bunch of straight to DVD Danny Dyer crime thrillers.

Things start of fine, it's a little rushed, they try and pack a lot into the brisk 100 minutes run-time. D's (Aml Ameen) arc is very quick to get going. There really could have been a lot more build up and maybe exploring the relationship between him and his older brother before his death. It could have gone a long way to make us care more about his journey of revenge.

I really would like to rewatch this with subtitles too, there are a few moments where I just didn't understand what the hell the characters said. This is due to the strong Jamaican accents, which is not the film's fault at all, I just personally wished I watched it with subtitles, like I do with every film at home.

Elba just has a hard time making all these come coherently together. There's a tacked on romance that is extremely forced and moments of  tension that go absolutely nowhere. It's incredibly disappointing that an actor with this much charisma is such a plain director. Some of the visuals in Jamaica look gorgeous, but once things hit London, it feels like one of those cheap straight to video cockney crime thrillers. It is gross. I hope Elba continues to improve as a director, because this is not a good start at all.

The most interesting part of Yardie is the absolutely bat-shit insane performance from Stephen Graham, his performance is so over the top and silly, it feels so tonally out of place in this. He's tries to be a coked up Scarface like figure that swaps between a thick Jamaican accent or a British one. I just couldn't figure out if it was intentional or not. It was bizarre, but the most I was entertained by the film, so that's something.

Things come to a very muddled and quick conclusion, to the point I thought there was more, but it just ends? It all just felt very rushed and none of the emotional moments are earned. A character dies towards the end and the lead character is emotionally screaming and I was just thinking "Were we meant to give a shit about a character we'd only seen about twice?". 


Yardie clearly has good intentions from Elba behind the camera, but the end result is something that felt more likely to land with no fanfare on Netflix as an original rather than a cinema release. A messy time all round. A complete waste of a different side of culture we rarely see in cinema.

4/10 Dans

Yardie is out now in cinemas in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

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The Dark Tower (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written August 18th, 2017*

"Shit Tower"

I'll start by saying I've never read any of the Dark Tower books (Or a Stephen King book to be honest), but from what I've heard from everyone, it is a far from faithful adaption from the books. Books that sound far more interesting than this bland film offered too.

The Dark Tower is a weird film, it has some good ideas, but is never allowed to breathe thanks to its measly 90 minute run-time. Things are always moving, but it never stops once to make me care about the characters. I was also a little iffy on motivations, especially Matthew McConaughey's bad guy. Every character is very thin and barely explored.

We're force feed flashbacks and "visions" to get to know these people, but it's never enough. It starts with a kid called Jake who is some chosen one who sees "The Dark Tower" in his dreams, a tower in another universe that will unleash darkness upon the world if it is destroyed. We quickly learn he is the chosen one that has the only mind strong enough to destroy this tower. Matthew McConaughey's "Man in Black" tries to hunt down Jake and use his powers to destroy The Dark Tower while Idris Elba's "Gunslinger" Roland protects Jake so he can get close and kill The Man in Black as revenge for the death of his father.

There is a clearly a rich world at work here with some cool lore, but this brisk film is far too plot focused. It all feels rushed and messy. We get to point A to B without much interesting happening in the middle. There is potential for scenes between Jake and Roland to bond, but they never really do, making the finale lack any real heart, although the film plays it like it does.

I will admit I did enjoy some of the scenes with Roland's culture shock as he travels from our world from a post-apocalyptic universe. It reminded me of the best moments from the two Thor films. I would have liked to see more of Roland just failing to adapt to the real world and trying stuff out here. Tom Taylor and Idris Elba both do fine jobs. Elba is always effortlessly cool and carries that cowboy charisma extremely well, while Taylor carries a tiny bit of weight with his performance that deserved a much stronger script.

Matthew McConaughey on the other hand is atrocious. A laughably camp panto villain that I couldn't decide was brilliant or just shit. He feels insanely out of place in a film that takes itself so seriously. I had no idea why he was evil and wanted the end of the world either, he just seemed evil for the sake of the plot needing a bad guy.

While there is some visual flourish in the visuals, I'd say the direction for the most part is pretty pedestrian and flavorless, Nikolaj Arcel is a complete jobber and I wish they chose someone more interesting for this project, but I guess the studio needed someone not well established that they could control because this film clearly does not have a singular vision in mind at all. That said, there was some cool stuff here and there. Roland's reloading was pretty awesome and there are a couple of sweet action beats towards the end.


I'd probably have more to say if I was familiar with the source material, but I'm not, so as a standalone summer film, it's just pretty bland, mediocre and very forgettable. I'm pretty sure this series isn't made to be another "Chosen child on a fantasy adventure" thing, but hey, they managed to make into that. What a waste of Idris Elba.

4/10 Dans

The Dark Tower is out now in cinemas in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

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