Alien (1979) - 4K Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written March 7th, 2019*

It's always pure joy for me to get to see one of my favourite films of mine at the cinema. Even better when it's presented in a gorgeous 4K remaster like the one displayed here. I've had a long history with the Alien franchise, I used to frequently watch Alien and Aliens on DVD on repeat as a kid, but I always liked this one more than Aliens. I just prefer the slow-burn slasher aspect of this to the more action-heavy sequel. The less said about Alien 3 and Resurrection the better though.

Being it's 40th anniversary, this still holds up extremely well. This is Ridley Scott on the top of his game. There is so much detail in every part of the production design, from intricate Nostromo ship to the foggy alien planet, everything is a feast for the eyes. Made even better with its reference quality 4K transfer. One I will be buying when it hits disc in late April.

It carries a very simplistic plot. A crew of a spaceship investigate a distress signal on a planet while on their way back to Earth, but end up bringing in an Alien entity that slowly starts to pick off the crew one by one. 

What helps most is how likeable the crew are at the beginning. We spend a good 50 minutes or so with these characters before the chaos starts. The cast all work well off each other, making for some surprisingly decent bursts of humour that I had completely forgotten were in this film. Sigourney Weaver is obviously the most developed of the characters, but it's a stroke of genius that she doesn't become front and centre until very late into the film, making me appreciate how much of a surprise her survival and role must have been back when this released. Weaver herself is fantastic though, a strong female lead that takes control of the situation and is never once a damsel in distress, making for one of the most iconic characters in sci-fi.

The Alien itself is still an absolute masterclass in creature design. The practical costume looks incredible and is used just enough to keep it mysterious and intimidating. It really shows that less is more, using the shadows and dark areas to hide various parts of the costume is a smart move that pays off in spades. I wish the franchise would go back to its roots and use suits like this again, as this holds up far better than the overly CGI look of the creatures in Alien: Covenant, which was only 2 years ago. 

I won't lie when I say some things just do not hold up. It's easy to make fun of a film made 40 years ago, but I could see why some people could find some of the effects a bit cheesy and laughable. In particular, after the alien bursts out of John Hurts chest, it runs across the table, and it looks a bit dodgy to say the least. Then there's the scene where Ash starts to malfunction and make weird sounds while all I could think of is he might just puking up lots of cum. 

I also miss what a talented filmmaker Ridley Scott used to be before having one of the most hit-and-miss careers of any director I can think of. He uses everything to his advantage here to rack out tension from nearly every scene. It's such a shame he's never managed to live up to this high standard as he continues to try continue the Alien franchise, but never coming close to what made this original film so great.

The sound design is utterly insane here too. Jerry Goldsmith's score is one for the books and seeing this in a loud theatre with surround sound was such a treat. It made me appreciate just how important sound design is to a film like this and how much it brings to the tension and dread of the whole thing.


Alien is still a defining sci-fi horror classic and easily the peak of the series. One of my favourite films of all-time brought back to life with a gorgeous 4K transfer that makes me appreciate a film I already loved so much. The peak of the franchise and possibly Ridley Scott's career. Pure cinema. 

10/10 Dans

Alien is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK with a 4K UHD release due out April 22nd with a steelbook available from Zavvi to pre-order

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Upgrade (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written January 10th, 2019*

I wanted to like Upgrade more than I did, it was one on my radar for the past year that seemed right up my street. An ultra-violent, low-budget sci-fi film that riffed on things I know and love, and I while I enjoyed Upgrade to an extent, it's a bit of mixed bag.

Who on Earth is Logan Marshal-Green? And how does he look so much like Tom Hardy, but with none of the acting talent? It was actually quite distressing seeing this so soon after Venom, as the similarities are astonishing. Both are sci-fi action films about Tom Hardy (or his doppelganger) dealing with an extra presence attached to his body that also talks and sometimes controls him. 

I was actually pleasantly surprised by some of the aspects that I didn't know about going in. I had no idea about Green's robot implant actually having a personality of his own, I just thought this was a straight up action film about a guy who's wife is murdered, gets paralysed in the event and is given cybernetic upgrades to walk again and take revenge. 

It turned out to be a little more than that and the trailers also didn't give away how much of a black comedy this was too. It's surprisingly funny in the same way Venom was as Green's interactions with his robot implant "STEM" have some decent chemistry and lead to some fun lines about robots callous nature of being able to take a life. 

What surprised me most was that this was from Leigh Whannell, who's only previous film was the third film in the Insidious series, which I remember being fine, but this certainly shows more vision and promise than his previous film. His kinetic direction of the action scenes was surprisingly unique and interesting, especially the way the camera goes in motion with action on screen. It definitely had style and some of the gore is top notch and it's always a treat to see more practical steps used in creating some of the more disgusting moments.

The whole mystery of Green trying to find who murdered his wife is something we've seen many times before and was easily the most uninteresting aspect of the story, so it was a nice surprise to see the story actually go in weird places I didn't see coming, making way for a massively effective twist that I'd really like to see explored in a possible sequel.

While I appreciate there is definitely a great indie sci-fi film in here, it is let down by some less than great performances, including the lead, who really is just a stilted and uncharismatic Tom Hardy with weird and stilted delivery. I can't compare this to any of his previous performances, as the other things I've seen with him in it, I honestly have no memory of him being in it. 


For the most part though, Upgrade is definitely worth checking out and one that may go up on rewatches. It's a violent and fun ride with some really cool ideas that really makes great use of its low budget. I just hope it did well enough to justify a sequel. I'd just like to say fuck you to Universal for only going with a DVD release in the UK and no Blu-ray. Seriously, fuck you. 


6/10 Dans

Upgrade is out now on DVD in the UK
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Top 10 Films of 2018

2018 has been an interesting year for films to say the least, from the increasingly political angry and relevant films, to actors careers being ruined due to previous allegations and scandals in a now toxic Hollywood. There's been good and bad films (Some very bad), Netflix has even made more good films than they usually do this year, which is a far cry from the barrage of garbage they gave us in 2017. This is also the year I got a new TV and started watching things in 4K, which has definitely been a huge improvement on my film watching. 2018 has also been the year I've seen the most new releases in quite some time, but also the least amount of films I've seen overall in the space of a year due to work and a variety of different things, but hey ho, here's my top 10 films I've seen from 2018. (All based on UK release dates)

Still to see: Mary Poppins Returns, Bumblebee, Bird Box, Upgrade, Eighth Grade Journeyman, Whitney.

Honourable mentions: Ladybird, Hereditary, Thoroughbreds, Widows, BlacKkKlansman, Annihilation, A Quiet Place, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Sorry to Bother You, Mandy. 

10. Halloween

2018's Halloween had a lot of hard work to do, it had years of terrible sequels to undo and create a worthy sequel to John Carpenter's original and iconic slasher masterpiece, but they pulled it off masterfully, delivering one of best slashers I've seen in quite some time. It's dark, brutal and they've made Michael Myers scary again, and it was written by Danny McBride of all people. 

9. First Reformed

I wasn't entirely sure what to expect from Paul Schrader's First Reformed, I'd heard a lot of buzz, but I didn't even see a trailer before going in. What I got was an extremely tense and unsettling drama about faith that goes to some insane places while Ethan Hawke delivers possibly the best performance of his career. This is one I'll definitely be revisiting to get more out of.

8. The Shape of Water

There's a lot of expectations going into a film after it wins the best picture Oscar, which is unfair. Thankfully, I watched it before I even knew it had Oscar chances and I absolutely adored it. A gorgeous and sweet fantasy romance filled with quirky touches and a beautiful message about acceptance. An Oscar deserved.

7. Phantom Thread

On paper Phantom Thread really isn't my bad, a period romance about a dressmaker? Thankfully Paul Thomas Anderson's masterpiece is something I really should have had more faith in, it's a deeply twisted, hilarious and surprising drama with an expectedly amazing performance from Daniel Day Lewis. 

6. The House That Jack Built

Lars Von Trier is a director who's never really clicked with me until The House That Jack Built, I find a lot of his films I've seen to just be try hard, edgy and pretentious nonsense that's there to push boundaries and not a lot more. Yes, The House That Jack Built is edgy and boundary pushing, but it just clicked with me. Despite how horrific the acts of violence are (I still need to see the uncut version) towards women and children, this is still one of the funniest films of the year and it's 2 and a half hour run-time flew by. Plus it's final shot is one of the best of year. Fame.

5. Leave No Trace

Leave No Trace is a film that came out of nowhere for me and it's a shame more people aren't talking about it, because it's easily the most depressing, powerful and heartbreaking indie films of year. A beautifully shot tale about a soldier with PTSD and his daughter adjusting to the real life after living in the woods, it subverts expectations and makes for insanely effective viewing. Ben Foster and Thomasin McKenzie should both be talked about for Oscar season.

4. Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri 

A morally complex black comedy about one woman's struggle with the justice system after the police fail to find the person who raped and killed her daughter. It took me a couple of watches to truly love Three Billboards, but I am fully on board with it now, compelling and powerful with an insane cast lead by an outstanding Frances McDormand. Coen Brothers vibes throughout are also very welcome.

3. Mission: Impossible - Fallout 

No one, including myself had any idea that the sixth film in the Mission: Impossible franchise would be anywhere close to the top of this list, but they once again pulled it off to deliver not just the best action film of the year, but one of the best action films ever made. Every single set-piece feels like something a film would save for it's finale, but Fallout just tops it every few scenes and even gets deeper into Cruise's Ethan Hunt than we've ever done before. Tom Cruise nearly dies for our entertainment on a regular basis and it continues to be worth it. The main is a saint.

2. You Were Never Really Here

Lynne Ramsay's You Were Never Really Here is Taxi Driver for a new generation. A brutal, unforgettable ride of the art-house genre. In another universe this is a grind-house action film with Joaquin Phoenix as a hammer wielding paedophile hunter, but what we got is far more meaningful, beautiful and just harrowing to watch. Art-house cinema rarely gets better than this.

1. A Star is Born

I know, I didn't expect this either. My film of the year is a music drama starring Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper, but it works far better than it had any right to. A human and deeply depressing story about a fading musician meeting an up and comer while her career begins to shadow his as he struggles with alcohol addiction. Cooper and Gaga both give powerful performances while Cooper also delivers a beautiful shot film with a ton of energy and sadness. Pure cinema. I can't wait to see what Cooper directs next.

So that's it, my top 10 films of 2018 locked in forever. I won't be doing a bottom 10 list this year, but I will be doing my 10 most anticipated of 2019. here's to another year of films. God bless.

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Mortal Engines (2018) - Cinema Review

Review:

*Originally written December 10th, 2018*

For better or worse, Mortal Engines is both better than I expected and exactly what I expected it to be. If that makes sense? It's just another overblown, over-budget entry in the quickly dying young-adult genre that is clearly made to start a franchise, but it's just not gonna happen. I guess what's most disappointing is that this is from Peter Jackson to an extent, a man who has crafted one of the best and most creative trilogies of all-time and is now seem to hit a point of CGI heavy and soulless blockbusters. Which is a great shame.

This certainly had its potential. I'd never read the books, but the idea of a post-apocalyptic steampunk world where giant cities devour each other in a wasteland has certain shades of Mad Max to it, so I was interested. Sadly, it rarely lives up to its original premise, the world-building and ins and outs of this concept are rarely explored in favour of a bland "Chosen one" YA story that we've seen countless times. There was so much potential to explore here and they just wasted it.

That's not to say the film doesn't look great, they definitely made the most of that risky $100 million budget. The world is impressive, ugly and some of the action has its moments, but it really lacking in any sort of creative punch. I did love the look of the movies cities, especially the giant main one, There's nothing visually horrible by any means, it all just feels competent, but completely flavourless. 

What really didn't help is how dull and uninteresting the characters are. Hera Hilmar isn't an actress I'd ever heard of before this, but it's hard to tell if she's a good actress when the character she's playing is this boring. She's just another Chosen One in a dystopian future as she tries to avenge the murder of her mother. The closest thing to interesting was the relationship between her and Stephen Lang's Shrike, an undead soldier who takes in Hilmar and raises her after the death of her mother. 

I must say I was actually surprised by how freaky and unsettling that look of Shrike was, the design clearly has shades of the White Walkers from Game of Thrones, but with a clockwork, steampunk aesthetic that reminded of the Dishonoured series. In fact, quite a lot here reminded me of Dishonoured, given this is also a steampunk portrayal of London. 

I also don't know what Hugo Weaving was doing here. He's doing a villain we've seen countless of times before, a power-hungry bad guy with connections to the lead character (With a mind blowingly obvious twist). I was reminded far too much of Christoph Waltz and Ben Mendelsohn's recent villain performances that are just extremely by the numbers and forgettable.

There's also just really weird humour shoved in here. Somehow they manage to shove in a visual gag to Minions (I shit you not), it was just pretty brutal and unfunny. The only genuine laughs I got out of this were at some of the insanely poor and on the nose dialogue that comes out the script. It did this annoying thing where the characters spell something out for you and you understand what they're talking about or feeling, then they felt the need to just blatantly say it rather than let the actors portray it, it got a little frustrating.

Then I laughed out loud at some of the character deaths towards the end where they do that thing that I just love. You know when a character they have barely given us enough to work with to care about them, but then to proceed to kill them off like it's a huge deal and we should care? Brace yourself for that....



Mortal Engines is another failed YA adaptation that will fail to kick-start a franchise and will most likely just go down in history as one of the biggest box-office bombs of recent years. It's a shame too, as there is a really interesting world here of giant cities eating each other, but it's just so wasted with a bland story we've seen countless times before.

5/10 Dans

Mortal Engines is out now in cinemas in the UK
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Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018) - 4K UHD Review

Review:

*Originally written September 21st*

It's pretty impressive we actually got a sequel to Guillermo Del Toro's Pacific Rim. It was a genuinely exciting and original giant monsters vs giant robots movie that was dumb, but it fully embraced it to deliver one of the most visually interesting and gorgeous blockbusters in years. One I need to revisit soon on 4K.

This sequel is nothing but a colossal disappointment, while the first was a breath of fresh air, Uprising feels like the dumbed down, expensive backdoor pilot to a Sci-Fi Channel TV show that has more in common with Michael Bay's Transformers than Del Toro's original. I saw this in the theatres and utterly hated it, I then decided to give it a second chance on 4K as the steelbook was on sale at work. I instantly regret it.

Everything about Uprising is just appalling. The first didn't exactly shine in the character department. Charlie Hunham was a bit bland, but he was a fine enough lead, so it's so disappointing to see him not return. He's at least replaced by a John Boyega, who is trying his best, but his character is written to be such an annoying douchebag. Part of me does appreciate at least making Boyega the son of Idris Elba's character from the first, but he carries none of his charisma, and his attempt at a speech at the end is nothing less than pitiful compared to Elba's "Cancelling the apocalypse" speech from the first.

Since Del Toro decided not to return in order to focus on The Shape of Water (An incredibly wise decision), he is instead replaced by Steven S. DeKnight, a man who had yet to direct an actual film. He'd only previously worked on television and it shows. His direction is a jumbled mess. None of the action scenes are fun to watch or look at, all the Jaigers and monsters feel floaty and weightless. I know they had to dial the budget back a little, but there was no excuse for just how cheap this felt at times. It does at least look gorgeous on 4K, as I would expect from a huge-budgeted Hollywood film, but the cinematography just feels very televisual compared to the first.

A few characters from the first do return though, and they are pretty much universally awful. Burn Gorman is horrifically over the top, I don't remember him much from the first, but I highly doubt he was this scatty, erratic and over the top in it. Charlie Day is also an actor I love, but again, like Gorman, his role is ludicrously over the top and annoying, and riddled by awful and weird character decisions that feel remarkably dumb. 

There are also some new characters that just don't work either. Hollywood really needs to stop trying to make Scott Eastwood a thing, he does not carry any of the charisma or presence his father has, he feels like one of the forgotten Hemsworth brothers no one wants to see in anything. Please, stop. Since the first Pacific Rim made most of its money in China, there's that cynical feeling that Hollywood added a bunch of Chinese actors in order to pander to this audience and rake in more money. Think Independence Day: Resurgence. 

I'd say one of the biggest problems of Uprising is the writing. Nothing has any weight to it. It takes place about a decade after the first and civilisation has more or less moved on, with some places feeling like dystopian wastelands that Boyega lives in. They really fail to do anything interesting with that. There was potential to explore this post Pacific Rim world, but they just brush over it very quickly in order to get on with the insanely boring plot. Which is exactly what you'd expect and carries no surprises. I didn't even mention the painful MCU style comedy that just makes you cringe and roll your eyes rather than laugh. 


Fans spent years pining for a sequel to Pacific Rim, and this is what they got, an insulting, poorly directed, scripted and boring mess that made me wish they hadn't bothered. They end Uprising with sequel bait, but I just can't imagine that will ever come to fruition after this mess.

2/10 Dans

Pacific Rim: Uprising is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD now in the UK. With a 4K Steelbook available from HMV
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Aliens vs Predator: Requiem (2007) - Blu-ray Review

Review:

*Originally written January 2nd, 2017*

I don't know how you manage to fuck up a concept as fun as two of the most famous aliens in cinema history going to war with each other? And I don't know how you managed to fuck it up twice? All they seemed to learn from the first one is that it "Needed more gore", so they added a lot in this to make a nasty, mean-spirited film that is more disgusting than fun.

Every character is awful and the cast seems to be led entirely by TV actors. We have Michelle from 24, Half-Sack from Sons of Anarchy, Rickety Cricket from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and that guy from True Blood. The performances are serviceable for what this is, but every character is either annoying, one-note or obnoxious. I cannot think of a single memorable character in this shit heap.

In a film about Aliens vs Predators, is there any fun action? I honestly could not tell you. Every scene seems to be shot in unwatchable pitch-black. Who on Earth thought it would be a good idea to the entire last hour in such a way you couldn't tell what was happening? Did they just leave the lens cap on and keep the footage anyway? It would not surprise me if that happened.

Requiem at least ditches the PG-13 rating of the first and goes back to the roots of the R-rated mayhem of the respective franchises, but they go too far with it. There was nothing enjoyable or fun about seeing some random kid get a chestburster early on. Even worse, in a later scene, which is the most disgusting and horrible moment of this whole mess, a pregnant woman is implanted with alien eggs until they hatch and explode out her stomach, killing her unborn child. It was just nasty and served no purpose.

I'm not entirely sure what the story here was? Since the Alien or Predators have no dialogue, it just seems like they're fight in thrown in the middle of some small hick town melodrama which was not interesting in the least. All the different characters have boring side-plots that all end with them meeting up once the creatures start killing people.

I also looked up the meaning of the word "Requiem" and this is what I found: 
1. A Mass for the repose of the souls of the dead.
2. a musical composition setting parts of a requiem Mass, or of a similar character.
3. an act or token of remembrance.

What the hell did any of those have to do with this film? I'm pretty sure a producer just thought it sounded cool and added it as the subtitle without any further thought. God, this was a mess. I'm even complaining about the title. 

Please reboot the Alien Vs Predator franchise with a decent team behind it. There is a lot of potential here with two huge and expanded universes to explore, and this is what we get? The fuck, man.

2/10 Dans

Aliens vs Predator: Requiem is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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Predators (2010) - 4K Review

Review:

*Original written August 29th, 2018*

I remember being extremely excited by Predators when it was released, but disappointed I wasn't old enough to see it at cinemas. I'd always thought this was a huge improvement over Predator 2 and a big step down from the first, and it still is. I mean it's fine, there's a lot to love here and it's a huge step in the right direction after those awful AVP films, but it's still a bit of mess.

There's a cool idea at the centre of this and it shoves you right into it from opening second. A random group of dangerous humans from Earth are dropped onto an alien planet that the Predators are using as a hunting ground. It goes back to the simplistic jungle setting of the first and carries the tone right, there's a lot of homages to the original (One of the cast even carries a minigun). 

It's just one of those films that gets worse and worse as it goes on. It starts off extremely strong and eventually falls apart by the end. There's a bigger variety of Predators this time around and creatures they use as part of their hunt. I always remember this film looking quite ugly and digital, it might be the 4K transfer, but I really liked the look of it this time, the colours are a bit washed out, but the jungle looks gorgeous and the creature effects hold up pretty well, even the dog things looked way better than I remember.

My biggest problems with Predators are some of the casting. Adrien Brody is a fine actor, but he really doesn't work as an action hero. He tries to channel the ruthless hero with a gruff, Christian Bale doing Batman voice, but it just comes off as a bit shit. Plus the fact he did some silly method acting stuff for a role in a film like this. Then there's Laurence Fishburne who continues to just be the worst part of every genre film he's been in for the past decade, just brutally over the top pantomime acting that feels like its from a different film. He's the worst.

There is a decent mystery at the centre of this. You slowly learn more and more about the characters, leading to some effective reveals. Topher Grace's character in particular has the creepiest arc that makes more sense of rewatches. It's just a shame that this was clearly meant to be the start of a new chapter in the franchise and for whatever reason, starts a story that will never get finished. I'm not entirely sure why, as this got decent reviews and was financially successful. 

Most of the cast are much like the first film, one note, but kinda memorable. There are complete cannon fodder, but play their parts exactly how you'd expect. Walton Goggins is the racist hillbilly (When is he not) and Danny Trejo is the gruff Mexican. I know I'm not here for a character study piece, but maybe spending a bit more time with characters before slaughtering them could have helped. Stretching the run-time a little more could have helped.


Predators doesn't live up to the original, but it's a big improvement over the second. It could do with a lot of fixing up, but for the most part, Predators is a pretty fun 100 minutes and a decent little stop before what turns out to be a hopefully excellent Predator reboot/sequel from Shane Black.

6/10 Dans

Predators is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD now in the UK
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The Meg (2018) - Film Reviews

Review:

*Originally written August 12th, 2018*

Well, this wasn't meant to happen. Someone greenlit a $180 million film about Jason Statham taking on a 75ft shark to be directed by Jon Turteltaub (National Treasure, Cool Runnings) no less. The weirdest thing about The Meg is not only is not atrocious, but it's actually really good fun. It's complete and utter trash, but it's also some of the most fun I've had with a film all year.

This film is a joke and everyone is in on it, it completely embraces what an absurd piece of nonsense this is and runs with it. Jason Statham is completely committed and knows what he's doing, giving us a surprising amount of charisma from him for once. The opening scene is one of the most laughable and '90s inspirations for character motivation ever (A prelude where the lead character fails to save lives, setting him up to be haunted by his choices).

I'm not familiar with the book series, but from what I gather, it is a lot more nasty and gory than this, as fun as it was, a film with shark attacks could have done with a bit more violence, possibly in tone with Piranha 3D. But, with a budget this big, there is no way they would have gone with a 15/18 rating. Based on interviews, there might be an uncut version out there though.

The creature itself is a fine piece of creation, it's not huge, but it's an intimidating monster that does some nasty stuff through the film (Especially early on to a whale and its child). It's not in it as much as I would have liked, but when it does show up, it is effective for the most part, despite from questionable CG. 

The ensemble cast are exactly what you'd expect, an array of cliche characters that each play a singular part. Rainn Wilson coming off the strongest of the supporting cast and having some of the very few moments that are actually funny out of the barrage of lame humour here. In all honesty, I did laugh at this film more than I laughed with it, which is something? Oh, I forgot, Ruby Rose is in this too, and she is just absolutely atrocious. Hollywood really needs to stop trying to make her a thing.


The Meg is exactly what you'd expect. It's simultaneously one of the most films of year, but at the same time, one of the worst, but it evens itself out to be a huge piece of entertainment. I cannot wait for a sequel where the shark 3 times the size of the one here. Fin.

7/10 Dans

The Meg is out now in cinemas in the UK, with a Blu-ray steelbook available to pre-order from HMV
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Ready Player One (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written August 8th, 2018*

Spielberg is not a director who I've been the biggest fan of lately. Don't get me wrong, he's obviously cemented himself as one of the greatest directors of all time and he's made some of the greats, but the past decade has not been kind to him. The last Spielberg film I truly enjoyed outside of Bridge of Spies was War of the Worlds, which was 13 years ago. Since then, it seems to have been a barrage of insanely dull pieces of Oscar Bait. The Post and Lincoln being the two standouts of blatant eye-rolling desperation to get that Oscar gold.

I had no idea what to expect with Ready Player One, I was not familiar with the source material and the trailers did very little for me, I was not looking forward to it. I hate to say it, but I'm a complete sucker for '80s nostalgia and RPO kinda just had me from the opening moments. This is far from a perfect film, it's honestly a bit of a mess of poor characterisation and it's a bit overblown, but I just enjoyed every minute of it. And I hate myself for that.

This is the first time I feel Spielberg has been truly creative in a long time. He has access to an outrageous display of pop-culture references and characters to throw at the screen. It's completely gonzo and I'm truly impressed at the amount of properties they were allowed to use, it's impossible to pick up on everything in one watch. While the references are primarily '80s, they pick and choose stuff from all decades to make for a film that is just an absolute wet dream for nerds like me. 

Story-wise, it's a fairly standard young-adult feeling affair, but it works. In a future society where things have gotten so bad in the real world, people spend most their time in a Virtual Reality haven called "Oasis", which is essentially the biggest video game ever created. These people live and breathe through their avatars. After the creator of the game dies, he leaves a challenge in Oasis for the players, a series of keys that must be found and the player who gets there first wins control of Oasis and the late creators fortune.

It's simple stuff, but it works. The lead Wade, played by Tye Sheridan is the every man nerd, a boy raised completely on pop-culture (I can relate). Sheridan is completely fine in the role, as is most of the cast, but the biggest problem is the characters. There really is nothing to them, they're mere pieces put there to get the story moving rather than actually people. 

This is the same for all the cast. Olivia Cooke is damn adorable and deserves far better, but is reduced to the under-baked romantic interest, despite a few moments where she gets to shine towards the end. And Ben Mendelsohn is just the most generic villain, a stuck up CEO that doesn't understand gaming and is just after controlling Oasis for profit. Spielberg's boy Mark Rylance is also here as the creator of Oasis and he is once again playing and almost(?) mentally challenged character once again, there was something endearing and sweet about his character, a man that is completely pure and only wanted to create something that people would play to enjoy, but he just comes off as a little bit special. Oh, and Simon Pegg is in this briefly in a thankless role that utilises a very hokey American Accent from him.

As uninspired as the characters are, the plot moves at such a fast pace, it never gets boring, despite being 140 minutes long. It's a complete blast all the way through. I was extremely worried about how CGI heavy this would be, and it is, but RPO gets away with it for the most part, as the film takes place mostly in the Oasis, which is meant be disconnected from reality and not feel real. 

Everything does look beautiful though, there's such a huge variety of set-pieces and locations in this world. It's a neon lit feast for the eyes, some of the scenes do look a little washed out, but I have this feeling it must just be the Blu-ray release, as a I remember it being much more vibrant in the cinema (I can't wait to eventually see this in 4K). I gotta mention the soundtrack too, nearly every song is one I listen to most days, so it was such a treat to have these '80s songs thrown in there for good measure. They really were pandering the right stuff to me.

There's so many nice little touches of detail in the action scenes that I'd missed the first time. In the thrilling opening race, there's a shot where Wade picks up coins mid race from dead players and instantly turns the coins into fuel for his car. I don't know why, but I just loved that little touch. On top of the opening race, the rest of the set-pieces are so well constructed and creative, including a long stretch taking place in Stanley Kubrick's The Shining (Which I rewatched very recently and they pay homage to it quite well).


I guess I really have a soft-spot for Ready Player One, it's not a film that'll play to most audiences. It's pure spectacle and panders to pop-culture junkies while delivering very little character, but just the pure joy I got from seeing all this happen on the screen is a feeling I rarely get. The best Spielberg has been in years and I'd take this over anything else he's done in the past decade.

8/10 Dans

Ready Player One is out now 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

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Snowpiercer (2013) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written June 4th, 2015*

I've been wanting to watch Snowpiercer for about a year now, but sadly there has been no distribution for it in the UK. I could have spent mega money to import the Blu-ray from another country. Thankfully, I changed the DNS code on my PS4 so I could access the Netflix catalogue of America, and when I saw Snowpiercer was on it, I jumped on that in a heart-beat.

For a film I've been waiting so long to see, I'm pretty happy to say I was not disappointed. Snowpiercer is an original, tense and incredibly well filmed sci-fi film set in a future where the world has been lost to global warming and the last remnants of society are set to a big train which travels all across the world.

What surprised me straight out the gate is just how good this looked, the directors vision of this future was amazing and 98% of the film takes place within this train, which I thought would get tedious, but thankfully each area of the train was unique and as visually interesting as the last

Snowpiercer's all talented cast is led by an excellent Chris Evans, who I was so refreshed to see him in something that wasn't an overblown Marvel film, he even gets the best line of the film, which is said towards the end and it was one of the most darkly funny lines I've ever heard in a film since Marla's "I haven't been fucked like that since grade-school" line from Fight Club.

The rest of the cast fare extremely well, apart from Tilda Swinton, who for some reason, all I could think of when I heard her voice was a villager from the Fable games.  Aside from her, the cast includes Jamie Bell, John Hurt, Ed Harris and Ewan Bremner.

The action scenes are all incredible, the highlight being a fight which takes place between about 40 men all armed with axes in one carriage of the train. 

I was very surprised by the depth of the film, I did not expect the themes of class and equality to be so present here, but it made sense to the narrative as it's about the lower class fighting their way from the bottom of the train all the way to the literally and metaphorical first class of the train. All the action on the display is always interesting and Chris Evan's character got more and more unhinged as the film went on which led to a surprisingly heartfelt and twist-filled finale which I did not see coming at all.


I don't really have any complaints about Snowpiercer other than the fact it could have done with a more compelling villain and I felt it could have been a bit shorter. That aside, Snowpiercer is amazing, go see it, and I will definitely be picking up the Baby-Blu when it is finally released in the UK (Whenever that will be)

8/10 Dans

Snowpiercer still has no release in the UK

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Jurassic World (2015) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written June 13th, 2015*

It's been 14 years since the last Jurassic Park film, so we've been waiting quite a while for this fourth entry in the series, but was it worth the wait? Well, yes it was. Jurassic World might have been a bit messy and the script was pretty lame at times, but it was an insane amount of fun.

22 years after the disaster of the first Jurassic Park, Jurassic World is open and fully operating. While the nephews of Bryce Dallas Howard's character are visiting, a new genetically modified dinosaur escapes captivity and starts havoc in the park. That's the basic premise of the film and it never goes any deeper than that. Which was fine, it knows what it is, a big, dumb monster film.

At the centre of all this is Owen (Chris Pratt), a tamer of the velociraptors who teams up to save Claire's (Bryce Dallas Howard) nephews. Chris Pratt is one of the most watchable actors at right now, and he's no different here. After Guardians of the Galaxy and now this, he really has proved himself as a leading man. it's been said before, but I can really see Pratt as Indiana Jones in the inevitable reboot, or the very least Nathan Drake in an Uncharted movie.

Bryce Dallas Howard was a likeable presence too. She was no Ellie from the first film, but she carried the film very well and she's a lovely bit of bacon to boot. There's an issue that she wears heels while traversing a jungle and running from dinosaurs, which is pointed out, but still doesn't make sense.

Jurassic World has a lot of homages to the first film (It pretty much completely ignores The Lost World and 3). There were no cameos from the original cast which was a shame (Apart from one, which not many people would know). You at least get to see the original park where the finale of the first film takes place and Jeff Goldblum makes a tiny background appearance in the form of a picture on the back of his book.

Many people were worried about the quality of the CGI based on the trailers, which were well-founded worries. Sadly the special effects were very hit and miss, there was next to no practical effects and the CGI was hokey at times, but other times it looked spectacular. The new 'Indominus Rex' looked pretty awesome and was a great addition to the franchise. It's just a shame that nothing in this film came close to the awe or spectacle that made the first Jurassic Park so special and perfect.

Once the chaos hit, there was a lot of awesome action scenes and one fantastically crazy death which was pretty horrific. I was surprised at the amount of blood on display for a 12A too, there were a couple of instances of blood spatting on the camera. So, thankfully it wasn't tame. The final action scene was pretty great too and featured a return from same T-Rex we knew and loved from the first film.


It may not hit the heights of the first film, but what will? It's one of the best films of all time. Thankfully, Jurassic World was a worth sequel with excellent action sequences, a likeable lead from Chris Pratt and extremely well-paced which never felt boring for one second.

8/10 Dans

Jurassic World is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD now in the UK
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Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written May 25th, 2018*

Going into Solo: A Star Wars Story was a weird experience. It was the first Star Wars film I'd seen from Disney that I just had no excitement for, I usually go to the midnight viewing, but I couldn't even be bothered, so I figured I'd get it out the way by going straight from work on release day. It was a weird day, I just felt nothing going into this film, but that's not entirely my fault.

The long troubled production that been long publicised, the casting of the iconic Han Solo left a lot to be desired, the trailers had done nothing for me, mostly looking like some weird expensive fan film (Even the font for the title from the trailers looked awful). The most troubling thing for me was the decision to give Ron Howard the directors chair after Phil Lord and Christopher Miller were fired due to creative differences. Howard is not a director I've often got on with, I enjoy a few of his films, but find his direction to be very bland and workman life. I was worried.

Much to my surprise, Solo is a complete blast. It does very little to justify its existence and brings nothing new to the franchise, but I'd only be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the hell out of it. It has problems for sure, just not ones I expected going in. All in all, it completely exceeded any exceptions I had. It probably helped I had no expectations at all, if I was expecting another incredible Star Wars film in the vein of Empire or Last Jedi, I probably would have been disappointed.

An origin story of Han Solo is probably something we didn't need, but now we've got it. We see the smuggler's early days where he slowly becomes the man we know in A New Hope. There's obviously appearances from well known characters and events mentioned in the Original Trilogy. The problem with prequels is that you know where everything is going to go, who's going to live and who's going to die by the end of it. Solo subverts expectations on this front, the story is full of surprising turns I won't spoil. Disney are clearly going to make a franchise out of young Han Solo and based on this I am completely okay with that.

Alden Ehrenreich does a fantastic job portraying a young and inexperienced Han Solo, it really helps he wasn't always just doing a Harrison Ford impression, although he does do Ford's famous point a few too many times. He brought a lot of confidence and charisma to the role, making it his own without introducing on what made us love Han Solo in the first place.

Rogue One failed to give us many memorable side characters, which I thought was going to be the case here, but thankfully, despite being Solo's film for the most part, most of the supporting cast have a part to play and time to shine. I'll get Donald Glover's Lando Calrissian, who stole the show with every scene he was in, even before the film was released, everyone seemed to universally agree that this was perfect casting and they were right, Glover nails it. Giving us a perfect Lando full of charm, sexiness that some of the funniest lines in the Star Wars series. I'd happily see a spin-off with Glover that is just two hours of him as Lando told through interpretative dance.

We also spend a lot of time with Solo and Chewbacca, learning how they meet. It's a bit clunky (As is most of the first act), but they're growing partnership is clearly the emotional core of the film and for the most part it works. Emilia Clarke is an actress who gets a lot of hate outside of Game of Thrones (Some of it warranted), but she's fine here, not amazing and not given a massive amount to do, they are clearly setting her up for more in an eventual Solo sequel thanks to the surprise appearance of a Prequel Trilogy character (Which I'm still unsure how to feel about).

Aside from Lando, the side character that leaves the biggest impression is Woody Harrelson's Beckett, a thief who ends up taking on Solo to his crew. Harrelson is always extremely watchable and it's no different here, his presence brings life to a lot of scenes and they go places with his character in the third act I did not expect. I just need to watch this again with subtitles, but a few things he said, I just couldn't make out.

First and foremost, Solo is a heist film, it's about bringing a group of characters together to perform this heist and the fabled "Kessell Run". It's a shame that it's just such a slog for the first act, getting all these characters together for the heist is more than a bit clunky and a bit of a drag, but once everyone is together, it is more than worth the wait. I should also mention we learn about the origin of Han Solo's name in the first act and it was one of most laughably bad and poorly written things I've watched in a while.

With Ron Howard directing I was afraid the action would be pedestrian and boring, but it was far from that. It was exciting and well shot, making use of its smaller stakes for more personal and interesting scenes. The train heist shown in the trailer was easily the best of what we had here, and while that a very early scene, it doesn't mean the later action wasn't great. I massively appreciated the smaller approach to the final scenes, there wasn't some giant CGI fight, it was mostly just a confrontation between people and it worked very well.


Don't be put off by Solo's troubled production. Sure, it has very little reason to exist and adds nothing new to the table, but its an extremely fun, if a little clunky and a tiny bit bloated adventure in the Star Wars universe and far better than it had any right to be. Just don't go in with massive expectations and have a good time.

8/10 Dans

Solo: A Star Wars Story is out now in cinemas in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

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