Fast and Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw (2019) - Review

Review:

*Originally written August 5th, 2018*

2019 in cinema continues to underwhelm and disappoint. Hobbs and Shaw is both the ninth entry and first spin-off of this unlikely franchise that started as a piece of early 2000's cringe about street-racing and wanking off onto a car bonnet or something. No one would have expected this series to go as far as it has or get as big as its gotten, but then the fifth film came along and changed things. It was no longer about getting your dick hard over a bit of vibrating engine and metal, they became ludicrously dumb and entertaining action films that continued to push the boundaries of insanity with each one.

Which is why I guess I'm a little underwhelmed by this first spin-off starring Jason Statham and Dwayne Johnson as the titular Deckard Shaw and Luke Hobbs. This is a fun film, as it should be, for the most part. It just never lives up to its potential, which feels like something I've been saying far too much for films in 2019. The same Fast and Furious gonzo and insane set-pieces are still here, but it lacks the surprising heart of the main series and the ensemble cast.

Johnson and Statham no doubt have great chemistry together, which is why some of the strongest scenes from Fate of the Furious was their stuff together, so it's easy to see why they would pair these two up for their own spin-off together. It's just a shame that a lot of the jokes and banter between them feels so juvenile and lame, I was surprised at just how many dick jokes were crammed into the first half. Honestly, I was astonished, I've not heard that many references to cock and balls since the last time I saw a Seth Rogen film.

The plot they're thrown into is very by the numbers and generic. The mismatched pair have to team up despite hating each other (Didn't they get over that in the 8th film?) in order to take down Idris Elba's genocidal cyborg soldier who wants to destroy most of the population with a virus that ends up in the hands of Shaw's MI6 agent sister (Vanessa Kirby). Yeah, it's a hell of a long way from the days of undercover cops and street-racing.

When I first heard Idris Elba was playing a cyborg enhanced super-soldier called Brixton, I couldn't think of anything better. Something as nonsensical and absurd as that to push this series further and further into insanity. Sadly, he's a little underwhelming. It's not all Elba's fault though, he does a fine job with what he's given, bringing a certain menace and charisma to the role, it's just the character that's very underwritten. He has some really cool moments and his arsenal of sci-fi gadgets and physics defying motorbike is awesome, but his motivations are the same as several villains as of late - "Wipe out loads of the world's population in order to save it", it's oddly dull. 

The real breakout star here was Vanessa Kirby, which I did not expect at all. She really holds her own in action scenes and looks like she has a promising career ahead of her in the genre. She even has much stronger moments and lines than either Statham and Johnson. I hope to see much more of her in this series, whether it be the main series or the inevitable sequel to Hobbs and Shaw.

With David Leitch directing, I had no worries about the action on display here, he did a wonderful job with John Wick, Atomic Blonde and Deadpool 2, so it was awesome to see him work with such a huge budget. His work is easily the strongest stuff on display here and where Hobbs and Shaw really comes alive. It's a shame all the action is spoiled in the trailers, but Leitch really does have a handle on things here. From the gravity and physics defying vehicle stunts to the surprisingly crunchy hand-to-hand stuff, it all feels very fun and creative without living up to insanity of the main series, but it's still wonderfully more crazy and over the top than most films with a budget like this would allow.

It's just a shame the downtime between the chaotic scenes of action seem to drag on so much, it has its moments and a very fun cameo, but it honestly feels about 30 minutes too long with so much that could have been cut for a much leaner and easier to watch film. Some gags and jokes drag on for so long they start to feel like a Family Guy sketch, it just goes on and on. I feel like there's a much better film few cuts away from what we got here.


Hobbs and Shaw just feels a bit too by the numbers for a series as insane and crazy as Fast and Furious. There's fun to be had with the really fun set-pieces and seeing Statham and Johnson together, but it all just feels a little underwhelming and not as fun as it could have been. Passable entertainment, but another 2019 film that didn't live up to its potential.

6/10 Dans

Watch the trailer below:

Hobbs and Shaw is out now cinemas in UK and a 4K UHD Steelbook is available to pre-order from HMV

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Venom (2018) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written October 6th, 2018*

After the piss-poor marketing and universally negative reviews, I expected the worst from Venom. It had been described as this years "Fan4stic" and "Catwoman". After watching it, that is an absolutely absurd notion. It does very little to break new ground, but for the most part, it's a perfectly acceptable and watchable ride. I 100% guarantee if the exact same film had been made, but under the MCU logo, it would have got an easy free pass from critics. This is far better than half the Spider-Man films and a lot of MCU entries. 

We hit a lot of ground covered by several other films. Tom Hardy's Eddie Brock gets a new set of powers, has to deal with that, embraces it and then takes on a bad guy with the exact same powers. It's cookie cutter stuff, but it's done in such a competent manner, that's largely entertaining for the most part. 

By far the most interesting stuff going on here is Eddie dealing with Venom himself, who is an actual character within him. Venom really comes alive when it's just Eddie dealing with the sarcastic symbiote inside him. Some of the exchanges between the two are genuinely funny and something I've not seen done much before in comic-book films. We got hints of that with Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy, but devoting a whole film to a character's split personality works far better.

It's just a shame it takes so long to get there. I appreciate them taking the time to build up Eddie Brock as a character while we see him lose his job and fiancee (A thankless Michelle Williams), but they really should have fast-tracked this, as it takes a good 50 minutes or so to get going, or at the very least dedicated more time to Eddie being an actual journalist. None of this stuff is exceptionally terrible, but it is a bit of a slog. Once the action gets going in the second half, things are much more exciting.

I'm still trying to put my finger on Tom Hardy's performance. I'd seen people compare it to Jim Carey, which is just utter bollocks. There is definitely some comedic elements to his performance, particularly some slap-stick stuff towards the middle, but it's nowhere near as abrasive as people have made it out to be. Some of the absurd humour is when Venom actually feels like it has a voice of its own, it's very different to the lame cringe humour of the MCU films and works much better.

Where Venom doesn't work is easily with some of its action scenes and its villain. Riz Ahmed is a fantastic actor, so it was a shame to see him reduced to another cookie-cutter and disposable Marvel villain, he was so unbelievably bland and uninspired. A power hungry billionaire who eventually gets infected with a symbiote and has to go head to head with Venom. There is no time dedicated to actually making this character feel human, he's evil from the opening scene and never gets to do anything of note. Comic-book films have come a long way from 10 years ago in terms of villains, so it's annoying to see them backtracking at this point.

Part of what people seem to love about Venom is the fact he's an anti-hero. This was a big part of the marketing. Which turned out to be a huge lie, he's another superhero, but he has homicidal tendencies as he needs to consume living flesh to survive. We see him eat a couple of people, but never anyone good, it never goes far enough with the "Anti-hero" vibe it so wants. 

While the action is completely serviceable (The motorbike chase is the only standout I can think of) it is completely butchered by editing. Things come to a climax in one of the most spectacularly bland finales I've seen from a superhero film in a while. We get two characters with the same powers come head to head in a fight that I can only describe as "Two blobs of CGI ink smashing against each other". In terms of CGI, it all looks very good, I sorta love the design of Venom and there's no absolutely awful special effects that stood out. Good job.


This was also clearly shot with an adult rating, but they got cold feet at the last minute and cut it down. It's hugely noticeable. People are eaten and dismembered to bloodless results, it sticks out like a sore thumb and I'd really like to see an uncut version for home video release. I have to slam the BBFC for rating this a 15 too, aside from some mild moments of body horror, this is a 12A through and through, there is nothing about this to earn its adult rating in the UK. It's embarrassing that it was even considered for this rating.


Venom is not the disaster you expected, nor the great definitive film of the Spider-Man villain you wanted either, it's somewhere in the middle, joining the long list of Marvel films that are perfectly watchable entertainment. There is definitely room for improvement and I'd love to see the cut with "40 minutes of Brock and Venom" footage cut from the film, but for now, it is utterly fine.

6/10 Dans

Venom is out now in cinemas in the UK and a 4K UHD steelbook is available to pre-order from HMV

Watch the trailer below:

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The Meg (2018) - Film Reviews

Review:

*Originally written August 12th, 2018*

Well, this wasn't meant to happen. Someone greenlit a $180 million film about Jason Statham taking on a 75ft shark to be directed by Jon Turteltaub (National Treasure, Cool Runnings) no less. The weirdest thing about The Meg is not only is not atrocious, but it's actually really good fun. It's complete and utter trash, but it's also some of the most fun I've had with a film all year.

This film is a joke and everyone is in on it, it completely embraces what an absurd piece of nonsense this is and runs with it. Jason Statham is completely committed and knows what he's doing, giving us a surprising amount of charisma from him for once. The opening scene is one of the most laughable and '90s inspirations for character motivation ever (A prelude where the lead character fails to save lives, setting him up to be haunted by his choices).

I'm not familiar with the book series, but from what I gather, it is a lot more nasty and gory than this, as fun as it was, a film with shark attacks could have done with a bit more violence, possibly in tone with Piranha 3D. But, with a budget this big, there is no way they would have gone with a 15/18 rating. Based on interviews, there might be an uncut version out there though.

The creature itself is a fine piece of creation, it's not huge, but it's an intimidating monster that does some nasty stuff through the film (Especially early on to a whale and its child). It's not in it as much as I would have liked, but when it does show up, it is effective for the most part, despite from questionable CG. 

The ensemble cast are exactly what you'd expect, an array of cliche characters that each play a singular part. Rainn Wilson coming off the strongest of the supporting cast and having some of the very few moments that are actually funny out of the barrage of lame humour here. In all honesty, I did laugh at this film more than I laughed with it, which is something? Oh, I forgot, Ruby Rose is in this too, and she is just absolutely atrocious. Hollywood really needs to stop trying to make her a thing.


The Meg is exactly what you'd expect. It's simultaneously one of the most films of year, but at the same time, one of the worst, but it evens itself out to be a huge piece of entertainment. I cannot wait for a sequel where the shark 3 times the size of the one here. Fin.

7/10 Dans

The Meg is out now in cinemas in the UK, with a Blu-ray steelbook available to pre-order from HMV
Watch the trailer below:

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