The Post (2017) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written January 24th, 2018*

Let's be honest, Steven Spielberg is not the filmmaker he used to be, his glory days of Jurassic Park, Indiana Jones, Schindler's List, Jaws and Saving Private Ryan are long behind him. He nearly managed to achieve that level again with  the excellent Bridge of Spies, but most of his recent output have been duds like Lincoln, War Horse and The BFG. 

The Post is sadly another dud and misfire from the once great director. Everything about this film is just a mess. A lot of this i felt was similar to Darkest Hour, another piece of dull Oscar Bait for 2018 awards. You have a potentially tense and engaging story wasted in such a by the numbers and bland drama.

The performances are fine for the most part, although a lot of the supporting cast (Made up entirely of actors from the best TV shows of the last few years) are completely wasted with thankless roles. Tom Hanks is completely fine and comfortable in the role, it's not entirely memorable and his character isn't very interesting, but he's fine. Meryl Streep however, I found to be terrible, almost borderline school play acting. It didn't help that the female characters were so underwritten, despite the prominence in the story and place in history.

A story like this could have been full of tension, instead it's just 
 painfully dull and a chore to get through. Spielberg does actually use some very interesting camera work throughout the film, which shows me there's still a bit of greatness in him, but he just seems to have faded in talent with his old age, much like Clint Eastwood. 

There are moments towards the end where things could have got interesting or had some tension, but instead succumb to the worst of Spielberg's traits. Characters overact and do stupid stuff like drop everything on the floor while they make a phone call because they're so under pressure, it just felt ridiculous and drama for the sake of drama. I also wish we'd actually seen the courtrooms scenes at the end and seen the reporters defend themselves, instead it just... ends.


There's an important message of freedom speech for the press (Which I agree with), but sadly it's buried under a workman like dull drama that's desperate to hit those sweet spots for Oscar voters. Based on yesterday's nominations, it sadly worked. Spielberg has Ready Player One later this year and I really hope that captures the Spielberg magic and wonder that has been so desperately missing for as long as I can remember.

4/10 Dans

The Post is out now in cinemas in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

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Hidden Figures (2016) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written January 9th, 2017*

"Oscar bait garbage"

This really wasn't for me. Crowd-pleasing Oscar bait with a ton of cringe. It told an interesting story of NASA's unsung heroes in the form of the black female workers who no one really talks about. So it's awesome they got a film that's dedicated to them. It's just a shame that it's this...

A deeply generic and cliched biopic that rarely does anything interesting with its premise. It's the sort of film your mum will love, so that's an indication of what to expect. It's a blandly shot, like a bigger budget lifetime movie and furiously overlong. None of the characters are really explored for a film of this length either, and while despite being friends, the 3 main leads rarely spent any screen-time together, which was strange.

The three leads give alright performances that barely elevate the awful script full of so many cringe-worthy moments that just made me wanna kill myself. Most of that was due to the horrific music choices which were some of the most on the nose and hamfisted music cues I have experienced in a long time. Lots of slow-motion shots of women walking in unison while some overbearing music with lyrics like "I'm not gonna take it anymore" booms in the background. Painful.

The stuff I liked was when they explored some of the more horrible issues of race in the 1960's. White people really were fucking pricks in the '60s. Being disgusted to drink from the same coffee pot, different section for black people in the library. You know what happened. I felt they handled all that stuff pretty well. It was also nice to see Jim Parsons play an obnoxious racist as opposed to an obnoxious geek with Aspergers. I was a little surprised by the cast. Kevin Costner is here as the closest thing there is to a likeable white man, while Kirsten Dunst has a small and thankless role as well... a racist.


So that was Hidden Figures painfully cringe-worthy Oscar bait that really was not my thing at all. The first film of 2017 that I've really hated.

3/10 Dans

Hidden Figures is out now on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
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La La Land (2016) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written January 12th, 2017*

I'll put it out there, I'm not a fan of musicals or even jazz music, but I did love Damien Chazelle's previous film 'Whiplash'. I also love Ryan Golsing and Emma Stone, so I was looking forward to this, and it exceeded those expectations by an insane amount. La La Land is one of the most beautiful, electric and emotional experiences I've ever had from a film. I don't want to hyperbole, but this might be one of the greatest films I've ever seen. I know it's only January 12th, but I really can't see much else topping this as my film of the year of 2017.

This was clearly made by someone who loves his craft, Chazelle really has a love for jazz and all things nostalgic, which shows. The music is great, the set design is wonderful. It creates this feeling of a classic film set in the '50s, despite being set in the modern day. It's a strange combo that works. Remove smartphones and the internet from La La Land, apply a black and white filter and this could easily be made in the '50s. That's not a knock.

A Lovely Night

Everything in this film is so beautiful. The direction is pure precision. Chazelle creates an electric film packed full of emotion and heart. It's a film aimed at people to follow their dreams and it was perfect. It made me want to pursue and be passionate about what I love and never give up. This is the sort of film that makes me want to be a filmmaker, if I wasn't so damn lazy.

At the centre this is a love story between a jazz pianist and an actress trying to achieve their dreams in LA. Both Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone are seriously amazing, my favourite film of all-time is Drive, but I think Gosling gives the best performance of his career. Much to my surprise though, despite both being amazing, I found Stone to outmatch Gosling most of the time, especially in the musical numbers. Stone has a much better singing voice than Gosling, which isn't a problem considering most of his stuff is based on his amazing piano skills.

Despite looking like a bright and colourful film, the film does take some really emotional turns that lead to a heartbreaking and bittersweet ending that hit all the right notes. We see Gosling and Stone's relationship start to fracture as they realize the compromises they have have to make in order to achieve their dreams or whether or not you should even follow your dream.

City of Stars

As a musical, aside from the opening scene which had me a little worried, everything after that was memorable and made me want to listen to it all day long. There was an insane amount of talent that came to making some of the music here, especially 'City of Stars' and 'The Fools Who Dream' which were easily my highlights. There's also a great scene of some '80s music that I didn't expect, but I loved it.

La La Land was pure magic, a sense of wonder and passion that I've not seen from a film in a long time. Beautifully directed, powerful and endlessy memorable. One of the greatest films of all-time.

10/10 Dans

La La Land is out May 15th on 4K UHD, Blu-ray and DVD now in the UK
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Crash (2004) - Film Review

Review:

*Originally written May 4th, 2017*

This feels like one of Will Smith's disgusting vanity projects along with Collateral Beauty and Seven Pounds. Horrific on every level. But somehow, William Smith was nowhere to be seen.

If this was made today, it would have been critically panned, but somehow, in 2004 it managed to be a best picture winner at the Oscars. Dear, fucking Christ. There is nothing okay about this film. Offensive to anyone of any race anywhere with such a farcical, surface level portrayal of race.

This feels like an incomplete film too. Most these characters don't have a completed arc or anything close to that. It reminded me of Love Actually. Holy shit, that is actually perfect. Crash feels like Richard Curtis trying to make a "serious" film about race, but equally as horrifying and vomit inducing. Every scene is heavy-handed and misguided. The characters arcs range from not racist to racist, or vice-versa, with no real explanation or reason.

Matt Dillon not being racist for 5 minutes and saving Thandie Newton

I, at the very least burst out laughing at times with some deeply unintentionally funny moments. If you've seen it, then the scene with Michael Pena's daughter in the front garden is incredible. Despite watching this on my own, I did verbally proclaim "Fuck off!" several times due to the outrageously coincidental nature of some of the scenes that involved random members of the ensemble cast meeting.

I'd say the weirdest part of this whole ordeal was Ludacris Bridges playing what was essentially his character from the Fast and Furious films, but played straight. It was bizarre and impossible to take him seriously. It was also strange to see Brendan Fraser on screen again, seeing as his career is more or less dead now.

I'd heard nothing but bad things about Crash, but wow, it shook me to the core at just how disgusting and misguided this vile mess of a film was with its heavy handed, after school special treatment of race problems in L.A. By far the worst film I have ever seen to win Best Picture. Good god.

2/10 Dans

Crash is out now on Blu-ray and DVD now in the UK
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