*Originally written September 16th, 2017*
"No. I don't want to play you're fucking game"
This was more an obligation than a watch. An obligation to finishing franchises before the release of the latest instalment (This one being the sequel/reboot of the Saw franchise that releases on October 27th, which is also my birthday. Yay for me...)
Anyway, this GARBAGE heap of a "Final Chapter" might just be the worst of the entire franchise. I try my best to defend the horror genre, but I have to admit, for the most part.... it's pretty shit. For every good horror film I'd say you get maybe one or two serviceable sequels, then about 5 to 8 pieces of shit.
Saw: The Final Chapter is pathetic as a film. It's cheap, ugly, lazy and uninspired. It's clear from lifeless and direct to DVD cinematography that no one involved in this piece of shit cared. The LAME 3D gimmick really took away from the potential impact the film could have had thanks to the cringey use of shit flying towards the screen.
Despite being a Saw film, a series known for it's sadistic gore and torture. This is as lazy and uninspired as it comes. They obviously were too bored by this point to even consider practical effects as everything looks like shoddy CGI (Also, why was all the blood pink?!). Even the worst horror films like this I can usually say "Meh, at least there was some cool gore". Not here in this piece of shit.
Saw is also a series known for its outrageous plot-twists, but even this pushed the point of absurdity for me. A character from an earlier film is brought back near the end in an escalating series of embarrassing and lame twists to try and tie this whole series together (But also leaving the door open for future films, obviously).
By the time the credits rolled, it was 5am and I had finally lost all my faith in humanity. I just let out a sigh and said "Fuck you" to my laptop screen. It's taken 7 years for me to finish this series, but I've finally done it and I'm not proud. Garbage horror films like this are part of the death of cinema.
I could go on, but this piece of shit film has just left me depressed and at this point it's just futile. Learn from my mistakes, don't finish a film series you started to hate because of a new entry coming out and a misguided sense of obligation. Just see something you know you'll probably like, go outside and play. Make something, be creative. Write a script (It'll be better than this one, trust me). Do something that makes you happy. Have a black coffee and a cigarette. Go to the store and browse. Start a family. Just do anything but this.
1/10 Dans
Saw: The Final Chapter is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
Watch the trailer below:
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