Friday, 24 March 2017

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014) - Film Review


Jesus. I finally got to this again. Transformers: Age of Extinction. A soul-crushing, exhausting and draining piece of trash that is easily the lowest point of both the Transformers series and Michael Bay's career. Nothing in this film works. It's 165 minutes long. 165 minutes.... Who let this happen?
Working as a soft-reboot of the series, Age of Extinction gives us a new protaganist in the form of an inventor, Cade, played by Mark Wahlberg, who is at the very least, more tolerable than any of the Witwicky family. It's just a shame he's shoved in the middle of such a bloated, boring and dead-brained script.

You should know what to expect from this series by now, but it's just not been fun since the first. The story is needlessly convoluted once again. The characters are all horrible. Wahlberg brings some of that wide-eyed goofy charm, but his character is oddly racist to the Irish boyfriend of his daughter.

The script makes every character just awful. The boyfriend of Wahlberg's daughter comes off as a creepy pervert as he carries round a bit of paper stating a law that gives him a loophole to date a 17 year old girl (He's 20). It's just so unneeded, weird and disgusting. No one else at particuarly memorable. T.J. Miller has a couple of funny lines, but leaves the film very early.

One of the biggest problems with Age of Extinction is its absurd length, which I mentioned before and with all the previous films in this series. This is the longest one so far, as it borders 3 hours. It's insane. I nearly cried when I saw there was still an hour left. It broke me and wore me down until there was nothing left of me.

Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz and Jack Raynor
Not even the action or CGI hold up this time. Most of the character models still look great, as much as they did in previous films, but there is some weird stuff that looks like it was pulled out the '90s. It's unacceptable that a film this expensive should have special effects that bad.

The action is all borderline incomprehensible with its abhorrent shakey-cam and Bay's lack of self-restraint, making it near impossible to make out what was happening at times. There is just too much going on during the scene, making everything just seem like noise. I started zoning out and started thinking about all the collateral damage caused by all this chaos rather than enjoying it.

The score is trash too. Adding cringe-worthy lyrics into the music in order to try and earn some sort of emotional response from its audience, who should not care at all what is happening based on the poor storytelling and horrible characters.

Age of Extinction really is the worst of Bay. He's a director I despise, who sometimes surprises me (Pain and Gain, The Rock), but for the most part, his filmography is nothing more than the adolescent wet dreams for 13 year old boys. As a 20 year old, Bay really has nothing to offer me anymore. I always forget that Bay is also a 40 year old man. It's embarassing.

Optimus Prime
The only real thing I can think I liked about Age of Extinction is that it at least carries on from the aftermath of the events of the previous film and sees humanity turn on the Transformers for all the death and destruction they caused in Chicago. Which is something Batman V Superman and Captain America: Civil War did better, but that's not the point, Age of Extinction beat them to it.

Transformers: Age of Extinction isn't a film. It's a near 3 hour barrage of overdone action, CGI and spectacle in favour of anything close to good storytelling. The action and spectacle aren't even well done or exciting, it's just boring and tired by this point.

This was also meant to be Bay's final film in the series for him (As was Dark of the Moon), but he's returning for this years 'The Last Knight'. I don't expect much from it, but if it's any worse than this one, then god help us all.

1/10 Dans

Transformers: Age of Extinction is out now on Blu-ray and DVD now in the UK
Watch the trailer below:

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