*Originally written October 11th, 2015*
"Tak3n the piss"
I saw the Baby-blu steelbook in HMV for £8, so I just couldn't resist. There was a tiny part of my head just hoping, hoping that the "Extended Harder Cut" might be a bit better, but sadly and obviously that wasn't the case. I saw it for the first time in cinema back in January hungover after a less than great night out, so maybe I wasn't in the best condition to judge.
Anyway, onto the actual review of 'Taken 3', after rewatching Mad Max: Fury Road, a truly masterful piece of art, it only made me hate this piece of shit even more. A badly filmed, written and acted lazy piece of shit that concludes (hopefully) this series that never should have stepped beyond the first film. While the second film felt like a borderline spoof of the first one at times, this completely blows that out of the water.
Taken 3 is a complete mess through and through, it really is laughable. Liam Neeson returns as the ex CIA agent Bryan Mills and fuck me does he look bored, you can tell he's here for the paycheck. Maggie Grace is back as the daughter Kim now too, still in her 30's playing a 20 year old college girl.
This time it pits Bryan Mills against the Russian Mob and the police after he is framed for the murder of his wife. So yeah, it's a pretty much just a shit version of The Fugitive. The ONLY merit I give this film is that it didn't recycle the story of the first 2 films, it at least tries to do something different.
The biggest mistake Taken 3 makes is bringing back the biggest hack of a director that Hollywood has to offer... Olivier Megaton, apart from having a name that sounds like a Transformer, there is nothing cool about this guy. He cannot film action for shit, I've seen student projects with better fluidity and editing than this shit. It is an horrific mess, there must be about 5 cuts a second with every action scene, leaving nothing to linger apart from the viewers thoughts about what the fuck just happened.
Forrest Whitaker pops up here in a completely forgettable role as the officer in charge of bringing Mills in. The conclusion he comes into at the end is one the most insane and demented things I have ever seen on film, I still couldn't believe it. I'll give you one hint.... bagels.
Taken 3 is littered with insanely demented moments that just prove that no one gave a shit when making this garbage. While evading the police to prove his "innocence", he causes more death and destruction than I thought possible from a character who is meant to be the "Hero". Seriously, watch the high-way scene, do not tell me that no cops or civilians were no killed in that scene. There was also another strange scene where he sneaks laxatives into his pregnant daughter's drink so he could meet her in her college bathroom. Weird, demented and creepy. In the final battle Bryan fights the main bad guy while he's in his underwear, how on Earth was anyone meant to take that seriously? What the hell were the creative minds behind this film thinking?
Oh, the "Extended Harder Cut" doesn't make things any better. There's 12 more minutes added here, none of which I knew what was new. There was at least some extra blood splatter in the kills that definitely weren't there before, which would have been cool if the action wasn't so goddamn poorly filmed. Some uses of "fuck" are thrown in here and there too, which really had no impact.
I could go on about this abortion for even longer, but I don't wanna talk about it anymore. I've watched it, reviewed it and shelved it in my collection, hopefully never to be watched again.
So yeah, Taken 3 is one of the worst action films of recent years thanks to its boring acting, disgustingly filmed action, poor script and just general laziness that is a far cry from the blast the first film was. Please Jesus, never let there be a Taken 4.
Taken 3 is out now on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK
Watch the trailer below:
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